I don’t know what to do
Everything was happening
And the happenings
That just kept happening
And no one knew what to do
They thought isolation
Would somehow help us
And now I’m left wondering
Because you are not here
Instead of staying away
Thinking I was keeping you safe
Should I have stayed closer
To keep you safe
Now there is nothing left
Just those memories
cherishing every moment
That we had
Trying my hardest
Yet I’m still sad.
I don’t know what to do
It all happened so fast
We just spoke last week
You were a little tired
But you could still speak
Then calls were unanswered
There were no more social media post
It felt like the world went silent
Calling around to everyone
Yet no one heard from you
The nurse said it wasn’t going well
There was this eery feeling
Wondering without information
Stuck second guessing
Each piece of sporadic information
The ventilator was working well
That’s what we were told
Nothing to worry about
Everything would be O.K.
You weren’t that old
I don’t know what to do
The hospital called
We still cannot see you
Not even to say our final goodbye
I pray to God that this isn’t true
What prayer do I need to pray
What else can I possibly do
There is so much life left
Cannot fathom it’ll be without you
I’m lost in this moment
Begging for another moment
Heart levied with anguish
Not knowing what to do next
Everyone is calling everyone else
How do we move forward
Recognizing there will be no closure
The tears flowed swiftly
Lost every sense of composer
When they finally told me
Your life was over
I don’t know what to do
Standing here in the open air
Finding comfort in memories
Sharing tears openly
Writing your name clearly
Speaking your name loudly
Celebrating every day
As if you are still here with me
Closing my eyes
Just for a moment of peace
Forever more
I will eternally say your name
Smiling momentarily
Believing holistically
There is life after this world
We will be reunited eventually
Holding each day from now til then
Burying your earthly shell
Hoping that somehow
You will live through me
Sy Bryant 