I don’t know what to do

I don’t know what to do

Everything was happening

And the happenings

That just kept happening

And no one knew what to do

They thought isolation

Would somehow help us

And now I’m left wondering

Because you are not here

Instead of staying away

Thinking I was keeping you safe

Should I have stayed closer

To keep you safe

Now there is nothing left

Just those memories

cherishing every moment

That we had

Trying my hardest

Yet I’m still sad.

I don’t know what to do

It all happened so fast

We just spoke last week

You were a little tired

But you could still speak

Then calls were unanswered

There were no more social media post

It felt like the world went silent

Calling around to everyone

Yet no one heard from you

The nurse said it wasn’t going well

There was this eery feeling

Wondering without information

Stuck second guessing

Each piece of sporadic information

The ventilator was working well

That’s what we were told

Nothing to worry about

Everything would be O.K.

You weren’t that old

I don’t know what to do

The hospital called

We still cannot see you

Not even to say our final goodbye

I pray to God that this isn’t true

What prayer do I need to pray

What else can I possibly do

There is so much life left

Cannot fathom it’ll be without you

I’m lost in this moment

Begging for another moment

Heart levied with anguish

Not knowing what to do next

Everyone is calling everyone else

How do we move forward

Recognizing there will be no closure

The tears flowed swiftly

Lost every sense of composer

When they finally told me

Your life was over

I don’t know what to do

Standing here in the open air

Finding comfort in memories

Sharing tears openly

Writing your name clearly

Speaking your name loudly

Celebrating every day

As if you are still here with me

Closing my eyes

Just for a moment of peace

Forever more

I will eternally say your name

Smiling momentarily

Believing holistically

There is life after this world

We will be reunited eventually

Holding each day from now til then

Burying your earthly shell

Hoping that somehow

You will live through me