Counting up missed opportunities
Somehow they didn’t become dear to me
When you were here
Life was forever
So there was always another opportunity
Then the life I was expecting
Didn’t become reality
And all those words
Each thought
Every dream
Just turned into a fantasy
Counting up missed opportunities
Reflecting on personal interactions
As if they were just simple transactions
Debits and credits constantly
Managing self fulfilling accounts
Never took into account
That one day the coffers would be empty
Hearing the words didn’t scare me
Just left me empty
They said you were gone
But no one said what was wrong
Counting up missed opportunities
Convincing myself
Everything happens for a reason
Telling myself
God doesn’t make mistakes
Looking in the mirror
Hoping to see strength
Instead of this reality
I absolutely want to avoid the ceremony
I think it’s called paying our last respects
Instead I turned off everything I had left
Counting up missed opportunity
Admitting each mistake I’ve made
Making vain promises
That I will never be in this situation again
Promising to tell everyone I love them
Promising to make time while they are here
Promising that nothing material will interfere
Promising that this pain will end
Yet I stand over this casket
Tears breaking through
Realizing every one of my sins
Sy Bryant 