I Remember When

Every day is a blessing and a curse

I remember every single thing

Literally like it was yesterday

Details and feelings

Visions and meaning

If you asked me

Very specifically

What I wore yesterday

I couldn’t answer you

Because everything of the past

Is not within my view

But I remember when

I felt every smile

I felt every annoyance

I felt every pain

I remember when

Every experience is a triumph and a disaster

It isn’t really clear what I’m after

The earth showing me the same thing

Day after day spinning in the same axis

Weather changes but everything is the same

Reliving life repeatedly

Wondering when that change

That new life

When will it happen for me

But I remember when

When every adult told me

Anything I wanted could be mine

I felt every pride

I felt every faith

I felt every deceit

I remember when

Every thought is life and death

Anticipating every possibility

Analyzing imagined life

As if life was actually occurring for me

Providing the illusion of ease

It’s more like I’ve already prepared

As if every option was possible

Already determined every next step

But I remember when

Life has more beauty

When defense wasn’t the best offense

Life used to be something to me

I felt every deadly sin

I felt every eternity

I felt every circumstance

I remember when

Every being is Life and Death

One assumes the other

Until one consumes the other

Regardless of magic

Irrespective of prayer or hope

The fate we all reach is equivalent

I remember when

Everything we wanted to believe

It all had to be permanent

Even when our own existence

It is just but a dream

The next generation was the truth

I felt every doubt

I felt every love

I felt God

I remember when