Kept Thinking

Kept thinking

I could escape my past

Find a way to end the wrath

I thought the longer I lived

The more happiness I would have

And old painful things

Would fall away at last

Wanted to believe in pure things

That not everyone is an enemy

But had too many trusted faces

That I can no longer tell

Who is who

In the fell clutch if circumstance

No longer willing to take a chance

Kept thinking

Loss is only temporary

And eventually it is replaced

In some type of way

Replenishing what was missing

When protection is lost

A different person emerges

Wanted to believe in pure things

That this evil festering is temporary

Now we are so intertwined

I smile so you believe I’m fine

Ruthlessly divert conversations

Protecting everything left in me

Barely holding the vengeance within

Kept thinking

If I had that day again

If my God created protector

Was just there

But he never showed up

And never will again

Crushed into oblivion