So Special

I am in disbelief

Never would have guessed

That somehow we would be at peace

Literally thinking about you right now

Normally when this happens

It is a connection of energy

I can just feel when people think of me

With you…

I just don’t know

It isn’t that you don’t love me

But I am not the only one you live for

So I believed wholeheartedly

There would never be a place for me

So I never even approach the table

That business collar

That I always see around you

Never looked anything like mine

So why would I even think

We could ever be more than this


I’m stuck in this….

There is this lesson

That sticks out to me

About birds and being together

Forced so many assumptions

Now seeing the true you

I’m deepened in sickness

Because this timeline

That we living

It could be completely different

Different doesn’t mean better

And it don’t mean worse

So I have to leave out my opinion

Putting all my trust in God first

Now sure what’s leading this


The one thing I know for sure

I only get one wrong move

And you are gone for sure

No reconciliation

No need to even apologize

Nothing but ignored messages

A list of missed phone calls….

Unable to even pinpoint the change

When did the light switch

What I am saying is

This is NOT what it used to be

We was mad cool

Just chilling casually

Even looking at your old flicks

I can notice when the pain

When It no longer was acceptable

When you were ready for something new

When I saw you years ago

That wasn’t what you was into

You was ten toes down for whatever


You a lot more wiser

Definitely more clever

Priorities are absolute

But I never imagined you needed time to

Oblivious to reality

You didn’t need someone to fit in

You just needed someone to be there

Provide that comfort

That beautiful loving care….

Giving this dependence

And this blatant conflict of interest

Just reflecting about this

I would rather be silent and keep you

Then say every truth and lose you

The truth does set you free

But freedom is not my target

Selfishly I am constantly there

Even if it isn’t physically

Still not used to this messaging frequency

That’s really what did it for me

It used to be just local messages

Periodically check-ins

Nothing too serious

And it could be just me

And that is where the pain lies

Not that it would lead to anything

But I want to hear you say

I love you after my name

And it mean more than it meant

Energized in your holistic energy

And beyond that

Its just your beauty

How could I ever be in your sphere

I’ve been so reluctant to get there

And when I see you

I’m like damn

Is she deep in thought

What is really happening

Never felt anything so special