Doing what I can
Encouraging every pain
Every single pain
All this pain within me
Invoking it profusely
Daring to convince it
For only for an instant
Pushing through it
Forgetting all of it
But every time
I try to write it out of me
It all leaves me
Then I have peace
Momentarily
Before that pain
It repeatedly invades me

Counting it all joy
That’s what I’m suppose to do
Count it
Count it
Count it in every single finger
Count it on all my toes
Need to hold onto that belief
But if I believe
Shouldn’t I believe
Everything was meant to be
But then reality sets in
Recognizing momentarily
That unbridled belief
Naturally believing
That isn’t within me
It invades me

Going through the stages
Psychologically
I already know what it is
The stages repeat historically
You cannot skip any steps
The only goal
Is going as fast as possible
Go through every step
As fast as possible
For whatever reason
I know love is everything
But when I stop and think
The deniability stays with me
That anger is growing
Negotiating different feelings
Simply depressed
Avoiding acceptance
Nothing in me will believe
It invades me