Thoughts reverting feverishly
Losing the complexity
The sanity that holds me
I know you’d tell me to hold on
So I’m holding onto this
This faith that I do not understand
What happened to the time
When you are old and gray
When you need people
To help you on your way
Where we visit you
Periodically we hear you are doing “OK”
It’s like in an instant
You were taken away
Thoughts ravishing psychologically
Stuck feeling desperately
Guessing at how to feel
When every positive feeling
Has already abandoned me
And my face stays scrunched up
Holding in every tear
Hasn’t even been a day
But feels so subtly
Like you’ve been gone for years
Because it would take me years
For me to express this
This deepened feeling
Lost in simple meaning
Thoughts pressing deeply
Anger erupting
Screaming for the resurrection
If it was done before
Why won’t you do it now
I know questioning is taboo
I’m just not feeling
Like I’m suppose to
Each picture I see
I can remember the exact feeling
Selfishly I looked forward to seeing you
Feeling that you were proud of me
Holding on is so hard
God please help me!