Fatherless(27)Thoughts reverting feverishly

Losing the complexity

The sanity that holds me

I know you’d tell me to hold on

So I’m holding onto this

This faith that I do not understand

What happened to the time

When you are old and gray

When you need people

To help you on your way

Where we visit you

Periodically we hear you are doing “OK”

It’s like in an instant

You were taken away

Thoughts ravishing psychologically

Stuck feeling desperately

Guessing at how to feel

When every positive feeling

Has already abandoned me

And my face stays scrunched up

Holding in every tear

Hasn’t even been a day

But feels so subtly

Like you’ve been gone for years

Because it would take me years

For me to express this

This deepened feeling

Lost in simple meaning

Thoughts pressing deeply

Anger erupting

Screaming for the resurrection

If it was done before

Why won’t you do it now

I know questioning is taboo

I’m just not feeling

Like I’m suppose to

Each picture I see

I can remember the exact feeling

Selfishly I looked forward to seeing you

Feeling that you were proud of me

Holding on is so hard

God please help me!