So long a part of me,
that now I find energy from misery.
It’s a daily affirmation making and checking
the gates and walls keeping that hidden pain hidden.
Muscle memory is stronger,
I can fight not much longer.
People impressed at the rudimentary shit I do
cause they don’t know I’m never letting go.

Brick and mortar use to be torture
as I had to modify techniques to remain unique,
so common enemies could go right past
without a thought of the hidden vulture.
Death constantly looming,
watching my moves
wondering why I spent so many hours
protecting mental heirlooms.
Death didn’t know I’m never letting go.

People keep mentioning this place that’s free.
Speaking of earth
like it’s really heaven if I could only see.
Each day that triumph and disaster
I see completely changing destinies.
Wondering….
where is their fortress,
where is their shield
how can they exist not knowing
how to manage life’s unexpected tendencies.
What would they be
if they really knew that I’m never letting go.

The past is the only teacher we have.
There is an illusion that there is good and bad.
The response to that which is gone is the changing fad.
A culture of social dictatorship
enforcing how you must feel
and what you must do.
But what if,
the answer is just in you.
Picking and choosing what to include and exclude
not the solution,
the mastery of managing the response is the revolution.
Letting Go.