Sleep away the pain
Please allow me to be me
Escape this self caused misery
Deepening in me
This PAIN
Won’t let me be
Embarrassing to admit it
Feeling convicted
Sleep away the pain
Longing for a time
Where peace is mine
Surrounded by opportunity
PAIN let me free
Why can’t I see
A way without complicated belief
Anything for a relief
Sleep away the pain
Without longing for toxins
Let sleep be my serenity
Closer than my own breath
PAIN won’t let me rest
Gripping my inner being
Heart minimally beating
Don’t even know what I’m seeing
Sleep away the pain
Reality proves me insane
Hoping that faith will set me free
Barely stay afloat in this
Why am I remiss?
Absorbing PAIN so closely
Lord please forgive my envy
Wishing pain wouldn’t control me
Eternity of vengeance
Lays beneath my skin
Absorbing every pain
Every situation I’m in
Gently gliding fluidly
Patiently feeling unity
Eternity of envy
Admiring possessive beings
building their happiness
Creatively framing this
Projecting different opportunities
Anxiety of empty dreams
Eternity of forgiveness
Voided understanding
Impossibility treating you differently
Imagining you weren’t damage
Awoke inner savage
Hardened into hatefulness
Eternity of kindness
Sweet summer breeze
Surf rising below your knees
Remembering the hatefulness
Accepting gracefulness
Rejecting the peace in this
Justice ain’t blind
Because it keeps picking me
Without a hint of mercy
In anything I see
What is the hesitancy to start over
If you can shut down and restart a team
If you can shut down and reorganize a business
What does it mean
When people hold onto something
That intentionally harms others
But let some real shit go down
And my own humbleness saves you
Now we brothers
Justice ain’t blind
Just closes its eyes
Can no longer be surprised
By the filth and lies
Which public office,
Is not for sell
You selling something
If the basis of your decisions
Are not based in right and wrong
And morally, the kind of people
We should be electing
Should only be
Those of the highest morale character
If you’ve never given your last
To a complete stranger in need
You are not the leader
That I will follow after
Justice ain’t blind
It is blatantly discriminate
Not sure if I’m angered about how it treats me
Or that we aren’t treated the same
And if we can’t be treated equally
at a higher level
Should we be treated the same
At a Lower level
Let that baton beat everyone
Right or wrong isn’t needed
Just the terror that must be maintained
To keep down the insurgents
Through the free press
They decided that enemy was foreign
But the greatest threat is always internal
The only issue is really about circumstances
The reluctance to protect this land
From all enemies foreign and domestic
Justice ain’t blind
This 20/20 vision
Is literally what those original architects
Wrote down and what they envisioned
The plan was laid out clearly
Leverage religious context
Kill everyone freely
Destroy everything in sight
Until everything avails itself
To everything that’s right
They never imagined
In their wildest dreams
That their sons and grandsons
Would let anyone else be free
And to be honest
That was never the real intent
It was only to create a greater tax base
It wasn’t about humanity
But about the economy
Whoever produces the most products
Controls every product
Thus controls the economy
Sadly
The Justice and Economy
They were both for sale
Saying we are going to CHANGE
And actually CHANGING
Those are two different things
We get so hype
We get so excited
Just talking about change
We get so comfortable
We get so relaxed
Just accepting the same
We all naturally revert back
To the same Ol’ thing
If we talk
But we don’t act
What will really CHANGE?
Saying we are going to CHANGE
And actually CHANGING
Variations with different meaning
Planing out something different
But never actually moving
Just Discussing freedom
We’ve come to realize
Most people don’t want to be free
They want someone to tell them
YOU ARE FREE
They want someone to treat them as
YOU ARE FREE
But what are we willing to sacrifice
TO BE FREE
Saying we are going to CHANGE
And actually CHANGING
That will never be the same
Faith without works is dead
Without the willingness to die
For the cause we hold dear
We will always be imprisoned
It is all rooted in fear
Yet we mobilize forces
Globally to maintain
What we call free
But when we leave the house
At the beginning of the day
It’s only by chance we return
The same way
Saying we are going to CHANGE
And actually CHANGING
It’s a mental barrier
Equivalent to asking
Could you use your left hand,
Instead of your right?
Whenever you write
Or even better yet
We all become Ambidextrous
We cannot even fathom
The focus to switch hands
When we write
But we want strangers,
To start treating us RIGHT?
Saying we are going to CHANGE
And actually CHANGING
Big Eb told me
We have to start working
So it can start working
And if we want change to exist
We don’t have to look
Any further than our own self
It starts with simple things
Like just getting in good health
It continues with supporting those
That support us
It maintains with owning the things
That are dear to us
Saying we are going to CHANGE
And actually CHANGING
If we could just make it really plain
We commercialized every holiday
Independent from who?
Independent from what?
We can still are murdered
If it were sincere, instead of fireworks
We could physically make sure on this day
That every single intent
On that Declaration of Independence
Applied to the least of us on this exact day
And if it cannot be
Then We The People
Need to Declare a New Independence
That applies to all of us
Fist raised high
The current solidarity
Beyond anything
I have ever seen
People that look like me
People that don’t
Standing for a remedy
There is so much
That I want for us
But on this Juneteenth
I just need opportunity
I just need opportunity
One day to walk free
Void of the anticipation
That law enforcement
Will execute my death penalty
While I’m just jogging home
While I’m just sleeping in a car
While I’m just tryna to relax
While I’m playing in a park
While I’m just leaving a store
While I’m just earning a living
Expecting me to be of peace
While you have consistently
And constantly
Badger me
Badger me
Since I was but a youth
Catch and release
Was such a common truth
Maintaining superiority
Every step was planned
Generational perpetuating
The psychology of slavery
Within a walk of fence in sight
Trapped
Each and every night
Each and every night
The fury yet builds
No longer have anxiety
An expectation of being killed
Watching you intently
Following in the rear view
Maintaining my speed succinctly
I know how you do
I know how you do
Lights start to flash
No siren is needed
I seen you on my ass
Turn on the blinkers
Turn on every car light
Keyfob on the dashboard
All windows rolled down
Only answered what is asked
Respond to every command
Speak clear and concisely
Avoid all ambiguity
Gun still drawn
Approaching my blind spot
Any movement
And I’m shot
Pressure is immense
However the saddest part
It’s routine
Accepting the bullshit citation
I know I’m clean
I know I’m clean
Still treated instantly
Like I’m actively
Committing a crime
With all these years of school
With all this knowledge I was given
I’m more insulted
That if I did a crime
You think that you’d catch me
I’m on a different type of power move
Influence the influencers
Controlling their next moves
All done openly at midday
Standing tall
With the world before me
Freedom is coming
One day, finally
Fist raised high
Give me free
No other people
Have seen such travesty
Experienced
Every single layer of slavery
Even
Being hunted
While we are free
Give me free
Could I have but one guarantee
Just want to know
What it’s like
To walk and live free
To have every opportunity
Where skin color is not a crime
Give me free
Without a single chain
No fences in sight
I was still your slave
Now that I want to be free
Already proven
Commitment to humanity
Why do you desire superiority?
Give me free
Allow love to propagate
Seeing every eventuality
Recognizing our destined fate
Socially acceptable to destroy me
You’ll keep pushing
Until you are no longer free!
Each day feels more draining
That negativity holding onto me
Is easier to release
Whenever it is raining
Staring into a cloudy sky
Life graciously passing me by
The nerve of me
Introducing children to this
My only sanity
I know they will see a future
My eyes will never see
All of the uncertainty
Difficult to follow
Left me hollow
Keeping the same song on repeat
Not for entertainment
Just need it for consistency
That nagging feeling
Seeing everything come to reality
That I have always been feeling
Although I have seen people
Hurrying about
Until those shots rang out
Dead bodies falling
Unbraced to the ground
Seen people struggling
Just to get free
In all those other deaths
I never saw me
What happened to that man
Somehow became an Apollo
Left me hollow
Frozen in this fraction of time
Lack the capacity and the tools
To just unwind
To just empty everything in me
To just breathe in a succinct fashion
Ironically traumatized with each breath
Yet I am the one still able to breathe
Yet leaving in a state of desperate misery
Yet knowing it ain’t all about me
Being supportive of the seeds development
Watching with pride without any hesitation
Doing my best not to interfere
Cause the reality is very clear
I couldn’t fix not one bit of it
I can say I tried, but did I really
Claim to be willing to do a lot things
But I still have that slave name
Still haven’t given every sacrifice
Still here waiting for someone else
This emptiness is hard to swallow
Left me hollow
Then I look up to my surprise
The eldest seed is leading things
Barely old enough to drive
But easily enters situations
Without a fear for himself
The constant protector
With a gentle touch
Without those seeds
I would be lost in this world
The guilt leaving me
That I brought them into this world
Knowing that their achievements
Will far surpass my own
I will be able to leave this Earth in peace
With the gratitude
That I will leave completely empty
As they take over and excel
Where I had no remedy
Their galvanizing aptitudes
So easy to follow
Left me hollow
I see things differently
The Past
The Present
The Future
They are all the same to me
Feeling them simultaneously
Living three lives with each breath
And I can’t Breathe
Remembering everything that was done
Seeing the travesty
So much travesty
We were devastated
Yet claiming victory
Left in udder defeat
I wasn’t a witness
But the pictures
The pictures
Pictures
Conveyed something deep to me
Skin color matters to everyone
It’s the only way you know
Who to isolate
How else would you investigate
Violence is not randomly distributed
Targeted specifically
Perpetuating stereotypes
Those claiming superiority
Those maintaining democracy
That same democracy
Picture of hypocrisy
I see things differently
The Past
The Present
The Future
They are all the same to me
Feeling them simultaneously
Living three lives with each breath
And I can’t Breathe
Looking deep into this mirror
Surrounding shadows
Keeping things in perspective
I am all that I am
It is only because of the history
That was embedded within me
Living today
Thinking repeatedly
Remembering those pictures
Haunting images
Blackened body blackened
Smoldering upon that cross
Name, wisdom, love
Were all lost
Yet these men stood above
Showing exactly who they were
Keep thinking presently
Is that any different
Because the executions
They keep happening
Tearful eyes
Attempting to wash my sight
Even blurred so many concerns
Not even permitted to fight
Riding down darken roads
Lighted up, intermittent siren
Recognizing that blinding light
Right at my rear view mirrors
Intentionally to disorientate me
Protect and to Serve
The Hypocrisy
I see things differently
The Past
The Present
The Future
They are all the same to me
Feeling them simultaneously
Living three lives with each breath
And I can’t Breathe
Don’t even need to close my eyes
Dreaming openly
Allowing the future to imagine me
Witnessing things I never see
Walking past people innocently
No one clutching valuables
Doors remain unlocked
People ordering pizza
Instead of calling cops
Looking blindly
With all kinds of disbelief
This single opportunity
allowed to be free
Jails resurrected as schools
Not a single child hungry
Overwhelmed with quality food
Encouraged to pursue
All walks of life
Concentrated and Focused
Planning a full life
Walking in stores
Looking over my shoulder
No one looking back at me
Rising to a higher plain
Nothing feels the same
Even believed I was free
Thought I could end slavery
Thought I could change my last name
Freedom ain’t free
The hypocrisy
It’s the sheer irony
People conceive of what they see
Still awaiting the next step
Not sure what’s next
We all pause
Symbolically
Take a knee
Throughout history
Used to memorialize
Or demonstrate a submissive nature
And it’s less important
The action of kneeling
Rather the action executed
When you stand up
When you know
You finally had enough
It’s the sheer irony
That every generation has experienced this
Called it different things
Everyone remembers it differently
The pain of it all
With some pacification
Ends a little bit better
Yet we still down trodden
Frustrated with accepting
Every modern application of freedom
We submitting forms
We submitting video evidence
We submitting testimonials
These truths are self evident
We were created equal
Not treated equally
Still asking to be free
Yet wondering why we are not free
It’s the sheer irony
Praying for peace
While teaching our children defense
How to maneuver this systematic racism
While still being friends
Messages from 40 years ago
Still relevant today
Speaking life into Black Lives
Remains the only way
Makes you question the humanity
Of those that do not see
But that is the privileged that skin allows
They do not concern themselves with trivial things
Your skin is your skin
It is who you are intended to be
But when your skin is treated as sin
It is a marginalized existence
Constantly striving for a better view
Even with health, wealth and class
We stay lost
Anchored to our past
I know I am suppose to apologize
With everything that was done
I want you to know that I understand
You had to do what you had to do
Because I must have done something
Something that I should not have done
And I should have known it
And I should just expect the punishment
Because don’t I deserve it
To be corrected
To be ridiculed
Because I love you so much
That I know you will never
Do me wrong
Abused American
For so long
Will you grant me leave?
Can I just say this one thing
In this one way
Can I share with you
Everything that I have been going through
Could you give me the opportunity
If I am down on one knee
If nothing else
Just to share in my humanity
Regardless of how I’m treated
Irrespective of how I feel
With a knee on my neck
All I ask for is an appeal
Is this so wrong
Abused American
For so long
For so long
Abused American
That is my true demographic
Waded in pools of blood
Angered by my treatment
When I try to speak the truth
And you treat me worse
Claiming I am being sarcastic
Struck down with every progress made
Institutionalized driven insane
Crying out because of the pain
Screaming because you beat me
You do not even know my name
I am only a reflection
Of the hate you give
Now that you are feeling it
You want me to forgive.
For so long
Abused American
Freed physically
But that didn’t really matter
Because you know
It was my mind you were after
Didn’t matter what city I went to
Didn’t matter what profession I obtained
The seed of subordination
Etched into every last name
There was no need to strike
Yet you do it repeatedly
I do not remember a single day
That you haven’t killed someone
That looks just like me
So I can no longer hang on
I can no longer turn my cheek
Vengeance is not for meek
Never known freedom
Heard of people pretending they free
still depending on others for their
livelihood and liberty.
How can I be free?
Walking this earth
With a name to constantly reinforce my dependency.
Cannot farm the land.
Cannot raise the livestock.
Cannot source any water.
How can I be free?
I’m the midst of bureaucracy
Tricking myself to love stories of fantasy instead of the reality I see. Stuck pursuing humorous ideas instead of healing peoples fears
How can I be free?
Knowing all that I know
My inner desire is to create replicas of me lost in their own unrealistic fantasy. Perpetuating the lie. That I am free. If Freedom is not free.
How can I be free?
Sy Bryant 