Tag: Poetry

  • JUST dreaming

    JUST dreaming

    JUST dreaming
    Staring out this window
    Rolling down this runway
    All this power behind me
    Pushing me to higher ways
    Thinking about us
    Pushing each other
    This combined power
    Rolling through life
    Staring at our success

    JUST DREAMING

    Lifting off this ground
    Switching to flight mode
    Transitioning across the atmosphere
    Shooting through the sky
    Thinking about us
    Shooting for the stars
    Elevating through adversity
    Switching to phenomenal achievements
    Lifting as we climb

    JUST DREAMING

    Soaring over this land
    Anticipating weightlessness
    Gentle turns through spotted clouds
    Faster and faster to level off
    Thinking about us
    Faster paths to peace
    Gentle resolution of any insecurity
    Anticipating life
    Soaring indefinitely

    JUST DREAMING

  • Unwanted For So Long

    Unwanted For So Long

    Fatherless(5)
    I have been unwanted for so long
    Only want people
    that don’t want me
    Lovely feeling chasing
    fake memories
    Making beauty
    out of the worse things
    If I ain’t unwanted
    must be something wrong
    Cause why would someone
    Ever wanna want me
    Cause why would someone
    Ever want to stop
    putting pain on me
    Addicted to this pain
    It’s the only real thing

    I have been unwanted for so long
    Afraid to
    say my own name
    It must be the initiation
    of this innermost pain
    Magnetism embedded
    In the syllables
    Pulls negativity
    directly into me
    Sitting and waiting
    Waiting and thinking
    Thinking and listening
    Listening and believing
    Believing in pain
    Cause pain is what I know
    So I keep it close to me

    I have been unwanted for so long
    Rorschach said to me
    It makes me happy
    I don’t wanna even see
    that you stay hurting me
    It’s not you
    It’s me
    Situational silence
    Violent surprising
    Weight heavy for me
    World won’t wait for me
    Will you bring it to me
    That peaceful way
    Loving me everyday
    Thinking it’s a new way
    When it’s my only way

  • Thoughts

    Fatherless(27)Thoughts reverting feverishly

    Losing the complexity

    The sanity that holds me

    I know you’d tell me to hold on

    So I’m holding onto this

    This faith that I do not understand

    What happened to the time

    When you are old and gray

    When you need people

    To help you on your way

    Where we visit you

    Periodically we hear you are doing “OK”

    It’s like in an instant

    You were taken away

    Thoughts ravishing psychologically

    Stuck feeling desperately

    Guessing at how to feel

    When every positive feeling

    Has already abandoned me

    And my face stays scrunched up

    Holding in every tear

    Hasn’t even been a day

    But feels so subtly

    Like you’ve been gone for years

    Because it would take me years

    For me to express this

    This deepened feeling

    Lost in simple meaning

    Thoughts pressing deeply

    Anger erupting

    Screaming for the resurrection

    If it was done before

    Why won’t you do it now

    I know questioning is taboo

    I’m just not feeling

    Like I’m suppose to

    Each picture I see

    I can remember the exact feeling

    Selfishly I looked forward to seeing you

    Feeling that you were proud of me

    Holding on is so hard

    God please help me!

  • Invades Me

    Invades Me

    Fatherless(25)

    Doing what I can
    Encouraging every pain
    Every single pain
    All this pain within me
    Invoking it profusely
    Daring to convince it
    For only for an instant
    Pushing through it
    Forgetting all of it
    But every time
    I try to write it out of me
    It all leaves me
    Then I have peace
    Momentarily
    Before that pain
    It repeatedly invades me

    Counting it all joy
    That’s what I’m suppose to do
    Count it
    Count it
    Count it in every single finger
    Count it on all my toes
    Need to hold onto that belief
    But if I believe
    Shouldn’t I believe
    Everything was meant to be
    But then reality sets in
    Recognizing momentarily
    That unbridled belief
    Naturally believing
    That isn’t within me
    It invades me

    Going through the stages
    Psychologically
    I already know what it is
    The stages repeat historically
    You cannot skip any steps
    The only goal
    Is going as fast as possible
    Go through every step
    As fast as possible
    For whatever reason
    I know love is everything
    But when I stop and think
    The deniability stays with me
    That anger is growing
    Negotiating different feelings
    Simply depressed
    Avoiding acceptance
    Nothing in me will believe
    It invades me

  • Handle on me

    Handle on me

    Fatherless(4)
    Hurting for so long
    Self inflicted pain
    Rationalizing others effects on me
    I cannot remember anyone staying with me
    At some point everyone leaves
    De prioritized me
    So eventually I would leave
    Before they would leave me

    Do not share the inner you
    Having prescribed emotions
    Reading people before they read you
    Staying on the defense
    Only trust my own boundary
    Cause I know it’s just me
    The mirror looking at me
    And the only one it sees is me

    Living four lives on a constant basis
    The reality of the past
    Wondering how long pain will last
    The what if of the past
    As if I could avoid my past
    The fantasy of the future
    And presently As if the previous three
    Don’t already have a handle on me

  • Mind, Body, Soul

    Mind, Body, Soul

    Fatherless(24)
    Mind, Body, Soul
    From the very beginning
    I know
    And I have to believe
    Holistically that I am winning
    Willing to give everything I have left
    Body and Soul
    Only limited by my mind’s capability
    There is nothing I won’t do
    To maintain my serenity

    Mind, Body, Soul
    Knew it intently
    This life was too big for me
    Looking around aimlessly
    Paralyzed by the amount of possibility
    Become stagnant in reality
    Mind and Soul
    Only limited by my body’s capability
    There is nothing I won’t do
    To maintain my serenity

    Mind, Body, Soul
    Stay woke every single day
    Head remains on the swivel
    Anticipating every single enemy
    Longing for something
    That I have never seen
    Just knowing it would mean
    The very essence of life to me
    Mind and Body
    Only limited by my soul’s capability
    There is nothing I won’t do
    To maintain my serenity

  • Shouting for Peace

    Shouting for Peace

    Peace
    The world ever changing
    The core remains constant
    Illusion of human existence
    Peace and love non-existent
    Creating fantasies of peace
    Shouting for Peace

    Conflict after conflict
    Struggle upon struggle
    Fighting into fights
    Never an easy day
    Inappropriate desires
    Eluding to Peace

    Greedy motivation
    Fighting for peace
    Sheer irony of this peace
    Endless war from creation
    Violently taking everything
    Final blood shed, then claim peace

    Actors portraying peace
    Look into the mystery
    Accepting killing foreign lands
    Just not where I lay my head
    War is war, death is death
    Humans do not peace

  • Innocence Fleeing

    Innocence Fleeing

    Innocence fleeing
    Innocence fleeing
    Losing perspective
    Waiting for substance
    Addictive reminiscent
    Focused on free
    Just let me be me

    Dimmed light
    Shaded destiny
    Presently grieving
    Transposing seasons
    Cannot feel complete
    Your not with me

    Radioactive feeling
    Cemented to the ceiling
    Paralysis reaching
    Depths of infinity
    Pit of desperation
    Darkened me

    Resurrection
    Anticipating elevation
    Confused similarities
    Deepened sanctity
    Enlisted in fantasy
    Reminding me of me

  • Protect Me From Me

    Protect Me From Me

    Fatherless(3)
    What would I be without me
    Without the self hate and self doubt
    How would I make it without
    That negative energy that drives me
    I pray, Protect me from me

    Remember the tribulations
    Feeling anxiety from separation
    Avoiding the bullets final call
    Left with nothing positive in me
    I pray, protect me from me

    The challenge of the remedy
    Lack of belief that I can be better than me
    Nothing wrong with where I am at
    It’s ok if I never reach the potential of my being
    I pray, protect me from me.

  • True Power

    True Power

    BLM(1)
    True Power
    Is instigating two forces
    To intentionally collide violently
    And the only benefit is the violence
    Once it starts, that’s when the revelation starts
    The feeling, of how good it feels
    Finally having an outlet
    For every single bit of it
    Every time a tongue was held
    Every time a cheek was turned
    Every time it was encouraged
    That we remain meek
    Yet in some way
    We are still being controlled
    In some way

    True Power
    Is instigating people
    Creating an environment
    Where they have lost their consciousness
    Group them together
    And allow their collectiveness
    To dissolve any uniqueness
    More than a moth to a flame
    All you have to is light the flame
    And they were inadvertently
    Spread that flame proudly
    Yet in some way
    We are still being controlled
    In some way

    True Power
    Is instigating a revolution
    With the ideology
    That you will be on the winning side
    There will be sacrifices made
    Each side will lose something
    But in the end
    They’ll feel it was worth that something
    The endless battle for humanity
    When humanity is only a concept
    There isn’t a country on earth
    That has been humane
    Yet we claim we can achieve it
    And we believe it
    Yet in some way
    We are still being controlled
    In some way

    True Power
    Is instigating peace
    Accepting that we do not
    Have to compete
    The competition for food
    The competition for generations
    It is no longer needed
    Food is abundantly provided by the Earth
    Legacies are plentiful endlessly
    Yet we hold onto things differently
    Still living in an advance dichotomy
    Pretending that there is justice
    When there is none
    Because justice depends on who you are
    Therefore justice
    Is not for all of us
    Yet we still want people arrested
    And tried in a court of law
    Longing to believe in justice for all
    Yet in some way
    We are still being controlled
    In some way

  • We Are Not The Same

    We Are Not The Same

    NotTheSame
    The world will not change
    Until justice is the same
    That day when all criminals
    They are each treated the same
    When neither innocence nor guilt
    Removes our humanity
    Where the feeling of safety,
    Is not dependent on a demographic
    But for right now,
    We are not the same

    The world will not change
    Until beings become human
    And the collectivity of humanity
    It actually has meaning
    When economic growth
    Is not the goal of every person
    Where we seek to help someone
    That is less fortunate
    And Consistently help the unfortunate
    We are not the same

    The world will not change
    Until every parent has the same fear
    When your child leaves the house
    You can always have a tear
    At the sheer possibility
    That they will not return
    Thus mourning happens constantly
    As if they are already
    In an urn
    We are not the same

    The world will not change
    This is completely intentional
    The manifestation of the Magna Carter
    The evolution of a declaration
    We want to continually live
    Yet we were never really living
    As the fear of someone’s color
    Created and creates more fear
    Than a person with a loaded assault rifle
    I’m just stuck wondering
    How so many people
    Are afraid of skin color
    Cause if you look deeply
    We are all unique
    Those differences
    Are intended to contribute
    To our collective human race
    But instead we choose to cower
    In fear of a rebellion of the black race
    The sheer irony is,
    Have you ever heard a collective voice
    Even a demand for vengeance or reciprocity
    For the evil and immoral means
    Meant to cast people into desperation
    With so much God given ability?
    As we are expected to celebrate
    The same historical norms
    That enslaved black people for over 20 generations
    We are not the same

    The world will not change
    Until those flashing lights
    Creates the same anxiety with everyone
    Where back talking and disrespect
    Are the leading causes of arrest
    Where over inflated egos
    Leads to guns being drawn
    We forget those early days
    Telling children they are here
    To serve and protect
    At some point in a person of color’s life
    They become a threat
    We are not the same

    The world will not change
    The world will not change
    If we are unwilling
    If we are unable
    If we have no desire
    To change the current status quo
    Then I must believe
    That we believe
    This is the right approach
    If that is the case
    Apply the same case to everyone
    If justice is not blind
    Allow tyranny to be blind
    Cast the same pain
    Cast the same hurt
    Cast the same judgement
    On every single human being
    Regardless of their demographic
    Sadly, only at THAT point
    When we collectively feel THAT pain
    It would be considered tragic
    Suddenly, things would change
    But for right now,
    We are not the same

  • The Queen

    The Queen

    The Queen
    Out of the darkness of things
    The blackest shadows
    Blooms the endless pit
    Escape of the fortunate
    Lowest possible being
    At its deepest meaning
    The only solace
    The Queen

    Man will forsake you
    The hour of ratchet awakens
    Facial expression become vacant
    The Silo of despairs encampment
    Solo battling this entrapment
    Movement evolving into complication
    Vision of stimulation
    The Queen

    Power ensues with each desperate move
    The elegance radiating vision
    Fully committed birthing faith
    Atomically creating life in space
    Providing methodology for long waited escapes
    Protecting Love powerfully in her wake
    Striving higher with each step
    The Queen

    War games positions it as so
    Kings taste not the last victory
    The Queen power extreme
    Dictating the field of dream
    Anchoring the entire field of things
    Everything predetermined by the Queen
    If at last victory stays out of reach,
    The first battle must be to find
    The Queen

  • Hypothetically

    Hypothetically

    Hypothetically, Do you feel me
    Hypothetically, Come see me
    Hypothetically, Loving
    Hypothetically, Loving You

    Hypothetically I love you
    Cause what I’m feeling Can’t be true
    All the things we’ve been through
    This feeling can’t be love
    Cause we ain’t in love
    Hypothetically we’re together
    Coming just to see you
    Love it when I hug you
    Tell me, how was your day?
    Tell me, are you’re OK?
    Tell me what to do
    In case I need to love you.

    Hypothetically I can see you
    Even when you aren’t here
    I can feel you’re so near
    Beauty, illuminating through you
    So bad, need to see you
    Loving everything about you
    Hypothetically I woke up with you
    Quick good morning kiss
    Deep into your subtle fragrance
    Planning out our whole day
    Intertwined like you’re really mine
    Give you the whole world, as if it were mine

    Hypothetically, Do you feel me
    Hypothetically, Come see me
    Hypothetically, Loving indefinitely
    Hypothetically, Loving
    Hypothetically, Loving You

  • Me

    Me

    Fatherless(1)
    Not as strong as the shadow I cast
    Easy to spout off important things that last
    Pitching suggestions and allegations relentlessly
    But those soliloquies don’t inspire me

    Not as influential as the wake of success
    Trained in the art of war, only pursued the inevitable
    Encouraging every soul within my grasp
    But that inspiration doesn’t care for me.

    Not as thoughtful as gracious people say I am
    I’m avoiding regret and karma on the back end
    Making a difference in other people’s life
    But life is not the same for me

    Not as caring as I care to be
    Able to ignore desperate people in time of need
    Selfishly focused like that doesn’t impact me
    But it’s who I am. And that person is me.

  • Who Knows Me?

    Who Knows Me?

    Fatherless
    Who knows me?
    Walking this world with billions of people
    Yet I walk it alone.
    No one could say they know my dreams
    No one can say they love me
    No one knows me

    Who knows me?
    Cannot remember someone offered to help
    When is the last time I had a visit
    Have endless experiences but none momentous
    But I’m sure people have asked loving questions
    And I casually find a way to deflect them
    The wall that protects me is strong
    No one knows me

    Who knows me?
    There have been people seeking to find the entry
    But I let no one in.
    Blame everyone for the wrongdoing of a few and that was the end.
    There is no worth in loving unconditionally
    More misfortune than lies than any happy feeling
    Take the easy way out and stay alone
    At least I know who I’m with
    No one knows me

  • Strength

    Strength

    Strength (1)
    Give me strength
    To make it through this day
    Give me strength
    Find another way
    Give me strength
    To live another day

    Mountains don’t move me
    Gentle wind won’t soothed me
    Frustrated in this life I live
    Ain’t nothing more I can give
    So I’m just here tryna to Live
    Staring deep sitting in the dark
    Mentally out on a lark
    Stars shining, show me the way
    Paralyzed by all this deep misery

    Longing for consistent relief
    Facing nothing but disbelief
    Is this the life intended for me?
    Horrified by this inequity
    Hands intertwined begging
    Knees grounded pleading
    Heart hurting like it’s bleeding
    Pain always winning

    Would you save me if you could
    Stranded in this wilderness
    All of this I’ve created, just mess
    I know I’m physically able to move
    I know I could think about another groove
    But this anchor on my soul
    It really has a hold.
    Just not use to failing, falling or quitting
    But this pain is never ending

    Give me strength
    To make it through this day
    Give me strength
    Find another way
    Give me strength
    To live another day

  • Writing

    Writing

    Writing (1)
    Writing just to write
    Starving for peace
    Believing with everything
    Within me
    Releasing every word
    My mind could be at ease

    Writing just to communicate
    At times, my will suffocates
    Lost serenity
    If I could just empty
    All that was in me
    Finally be free

    Writing just to say
    If I had it my own way
    Life would take me
    Into such an elevation
    Filtering negative energy
    Believing in peace

    Writing it to be known
    Speaking into a new existence
    Just for instance
    If I could pursue happiness
    Finally have the realness
    Of the real dream

  • So Warming

    So Warming

    So Warming
    Sun piercing through
    Reminding me of you
    Glistening through the adversity
    Shining and flowing capability
    Struggling to articulate
    The amount of love, its fate
    Gentle sigh, so calming
    Your spirit, so warming

    Opened to the possibility
    That sun shining for me
    Like painters muse, not confused
    Familiar lane, cannot complain
    evaporated bagged emotions
    Shook without you, convulsions
    Deep inhale, so relaxing
    Your essence, so warming

    Burning away the moisture of tears
    Light shining on every fear
    The nights concealment
    Hiding mindless sentiment
    The what ifs, the if, ands and huhs
    Solace of uncertain pacts
    Exhaling relief, so pleasing
    Your aura, so warming

    The mystery of night, or so it seems
    Pleasure revealed encouraging your dreams
    Pride amplified with each supportive word
    Never forsake you, that’s my word
    Bonded in friendship, anchored in truth
    Strength unyielding, forged by our youth
    Gleaming excitement, so appeasing
    Your presence, so warming.

  • Make It Last

    Make It Last

    Fatherless(15)
    Sitting here thinking bout the past,
    I’m always surprised
    I was able to make it last.
    It ain’t an anchor
    But a lot of lessons learned,
    Now I’m just tryna
    Heed my own words.

    Just never knew I’d end up here.
    Filled with all kinds of shit
    I don’t wanna hear.
    Thinking of the present future
    With the past right here.
    If only you knew,
    If only I could bear.

    Walking this street
    With the rain falling.
    Screaming out loud
    And it’s God I’m calling.
    I need to understand
    Why I’m being punished.
    Who did I hurt?
    What did I do?
    Feeling like I’m finished.

    Just never knew
    I’d end up here.
    Filled with all kinds of shit
    I don’t wanna hear.
    Thinking of the present future
    With the past right here.
    If only you knew,
    If only I could bear.

    Think I’m scared
    To know the truth.
    What would be revealed
    If I knew the truth.
    Contemplating shit
    That ain’t even real.
    Caught up in past decisions
    Like it’s my final deal.
    What am I suppose to do?

    Just never knew I’d end up here.
    Filled with all kinds of shit
    I don’t wanna hear.
    Thinking of the present future
    with the past right here.
    If only you knew,
    If only I could bear.

  • Can I just

    Can I just

    Can I just hold you forever one time
    Feeling your heart
    Beating into mine
    Pulsing emotions
    That fortify our devotion
    Greatest love of all time

    Can I just hold you forever one time
    Creating this promise
    Eternally within me
    That we will forever be
    In a beautiful state
    Call it matrimony

    Can I just hold you forever one time
    And we just close our eyes
    Opening this existence
    Embedding our persistence
    That intimacy got me
    Floating high

    Can I just hold you forever one time
    Won’t ever let you go
    Even if our bodies depart
    Souls will intermingle
    Attaching to time
    Loving to the end of time

    Can I just hold you forever one time
    Appreciating every second of the minute
    Thanking god I call you mine
    Slowly breathing never imagined
    Such a time like this
    Filled with just one kiss

  • Thinking, Thinking, Thinking

    Thinking, Thinking, Thinking

    Fatherless(16)
    Thinking
    Thinking
    Thinking

    As if saying it repeatedly
    Somehow
    That would make it happen easily
    Thinking through options
    As if we have every option
    There is nothing more troubling
    Then considering an impossibility
    Yet we do it religiously
    Almost becoming paralyzed
    As if Medusa was in our sights
    We remain statuesque
    Allowing everyone to admire us
    While we stand there resembling
    Nothingness

    Thinking
    Thinking
    Thinking

    Flowing through our psyche
    We are more that what we seem
    Yet we become the essence of nothing
    We only resemble that hardened rock
    Only value is providing shadow
    As those traveling the path are weary
    We want to believe that thinking is tiring
    Just to validate our ability
    That we can take up space
    While not adding value to anything
    Nothing is changed by our inability
    Yet we claim victory

    Thinking
    Thinking
    Thinking

    When do we plan?
    When do we do?
    How long should we plan?
    How long should we do?
    Where should we go?
    When should we get there?
    What should we expect?
    What obstacles will we face?
    Where is the end?
    Where is the beginning?
    When do we start?
    Endless questions of nothing
    Will only lead to nothing

    Thinking
    Thinking
    Thinking

    Time passes by us
    Whether we are in motion
    Even if we are standing still
    That unforgivable second
    Doesn’t care about our will
    The intent of our thought
    Is only realized through our action
    That second we just lost
    Is just but a fraction
    But if all we do
    Is waste every fraction
    The derivative of that second
    Lost like subtraction

    Thinking
    Thinking
    Thinking

    We have thought enough
    To last a million life times
    Industrial revolution
    Outright crimes against humanity
    They have removed us
    From what we are naturally meant to be
    Doing all kinds of things
    Consuming discretionary consumables
    Endlessly forsaken our God given responsibilities
    Then claiming salvation for a resurrection
    Without changing any aspect of humanity
    The sheer revelation of blasphemy
    Living a life filled with thinking

  • Wish I Could

    Wish I Could

    wish I could give you hope
    Hope to see
    Beyond your limitations
    To believe in
    Outlandish destinations
    Knowing that all you need
    Is hope

    wish I could give you grace
    Grace to appreciate
    Every single blessing
    Each opportunity
    With endless appreciation
    Knowing that all you need
    Is grace

    wish I could give you energy
    Energy to reach your goals
    Your wildest fantasy
    Every possible thing
    You could ever need
    Knowing that all you need
    Is energy

    wish I could give you everything
    Everything that you need
    Filling every single dream
    Close your eyes
    Make thought the Reality
    Knowing that all you need
    Is everything

  • Through You

    Through You

    Doing all these things
    I don’t want to do
    I don’t know if I’m trying to
    prove my love to you
    or prove I love through you

    Seeing life through a different lens
    All these people in proximity
    But very few are friends
    I always know who to go to
    When I need it, it’s through you

    Blindly going in directions
    Paralyzed by my own reflections
    Am I what I thought I be
    What else could I do
    Accepting peace through you

    Wishing for new a possibility
    Not sure about this reality
    Creating beliefs out of the abyss
    Contemplating me and you
    Can do all things through you

    Seeing the pessimist
    As the last optimist
    Spoke this into existence
    Nothing else will be true
    Until I live through you

  • Essence of Life

    Essence of Life

    Fatherless(17)
    Peacefulness
    Through midnight dreams
    Creating images
    Never will I see
    Striving toward euphoria
    Without smoke, powders or liquids
    Naturally believing
    Still it’s deceiving

    Hopefulness
    Through the storied past
    Lessons learned
    Uncountable bodies burned
    Humiliating history
    Yet we claim the source a mystery
    No one sacrificing to be free
    Because freedom is a commodity

    Faithfulness
    Through words in historic text
    Paralyzed thinking how history
    Can ever tell you what’s next
    Avoiding past behavior
    Expecting a clandestine savior
    Yet every hero is battered
    Until the thought of the next

    Lovingness
    Through two pair of arms
    Bodies intertwined
    Weathering every storm
    Intimacy so diligently
    Somehow inspires desires
    Knowing one entity
    Still loves me

  • Heard It

    Heard it said
    A few times
    That it was better
    Without a father
    No one to disappoint you
    No one to live up to
    Started to believe it
    It was a way through it
    But this hole in me
    It says something different

    Heard it mentioned
    I have a good life
    Not associated with
    Any negative statistics
    Fluid opportunities
    To be whatever I wanna be
    Travel endlessly
    It’s like saying I am filled
    But never had anything to eat
    Things are different for me

    Heard it discussed
    I am blessed
    God’s valiant of soldiers
    Endured hardships
    Never would have imagine this
    If I acted on the hate would I remiss
    Just imagined thoughts
    Trying to end these feelings
    Like imagining what you see of me
    Means that I am happy

    Heard it trivialized
    Do you need a specific gender in your life?
    Isn’t love enough to conquer bounds?
    Is happiness only culminated by opposites?
    Individually we can achieve anything.
    Success is only a plateau to the beginning.
    I readily get all that theory
    But only two people created ME
    One I know and love
    The other left me empty

  • Deeply

    Deeply

    Thinking this deeply
    Lay my hand upon my beating heart
    Praying softly that this pain won’t start
    Slowly panting through misery
    Upbeat thoughts Closed inwardly

    Speaking this deeply
    Lay my mind upon this thought
    Believe wholeheartedly I was taught
    Closed eyes contemplating visions
    Distracted by multiple missions

    Giving this deeply
    Lay my words upon this earth
    Resurrected God from the birth
    Tear moistened lips
    Releasing each painful bit

    Receiving this deeply
    Lay my faith upon this word
    Praying this joy is not deferred
    Anticipating new life surrendered
    Sewing until I have no more thoughts

  • The Fantasy / The Reality

    The Fantasy / The Reality

    The fantasy encapsulated me
    The reality questioned me
    Have no idea where I am
    Knowing everyday I am what I am
    Intrinsically it’s heavenly
    Inevitably it’s just me

    The fantasy enraged me
    The reality related me
    Created an unreal world
    Completed with unbridled perils
    False expectations
    Sitting here just waiting

    The fantasy ain’t the only means
    The reality looking good in them jeans
    Admiring from my side view
    My O My, wide eye
    Lusting for continuations
    Lost in situations

    The fantasy ain’t what it seems
    The reality murdering my dreams
    Nocturnally embattled
    Striking forward Unraveled
    Loosen within confinement
    Realized I’m dormant

  • Just Watching

    Just Watching

    Just Watching,
    Just staring…
    Seeing your confidence,
    Seeing your perseverance,
    Just seeing you is inspirational.

    Just Watching,
    Just noticing….
    The love in your heart
    For a complete stranger
    That is at the beginning
    Of a journey that you are already conquering,
    The reassurance that you provide to everyone that they are “going to be ok.”

    Just Watching,
    Just something about you….
    That draws me to you,
    That pulls me to you,
    That makes my body long to touch you,
    Makes my ears want to hear your voice…
    Makes my mouth want to speak your name,

    Just Watching,
    But I’m loving on a level
    I have never felt.
    And I want to share
    That love with you,
    In you … forever.

  • Rejected Being

    Woke up crying
    Mom asked why
    I cannot remember the dream
    I remember
    Not wanting to be alive
    Why did he leave
    I just never knew
    Mom said
    This is what I will do for you
    I will reach out to him
    Because he owes you this
    She ended with a kiss

    The time was arranged
    The phone did ring
    “hello”….
    Tears was all I could bear
    He waiting for a while
    With a lisp he asked
    “are you there”
    From his point of view
    I didn’t need anything
    My mom would provide it all
    Thus the burden was past to me
    Would I leave my children, like he left me

    Children arrived one at a time
    After a while I started to understand
    It isn’t easy to be a father, to be a man
    I reached out again
    Just one more time
    Arranged a visit sporadically
    Ended up in his home for the night
    Not necessarily comfortable
    But just something I needed to do
    Even saw pictures of my “nephews”
    With the same dimples that my two have
    Regardless of individual feelings
    Genetics are still passed

    That was the end of that chapter
    We connected a few more times
    Nothing significant
    Just no longer had any interest
    But somehow that one scene
    It still gets to me
    On the Fresh Prince of Bel Aire
    In one of the final scenes
    Will asking Uncle Phil
    “Why he don’t want me?”

  • PURE

    PURE

    Pure,
    It’s the melody
    Of the 5th symphony
    Feeling it’s sudden impact
    That 4th movement
    So soothing
    It’s uplifting
    Precision
    Tunes my
    Purity

    Pure,
    That frequency
    Feels me euphorically
    In C minor
    It’s kinder
    But nothing eases
    That harmony
    So pleasing
    The break
    Wakes me
    Need that energy

    Pure,
    Hear that
    Consortium of strings
    Triumphantly pounding
    Pushing through
    Brass banging
    At me
    Percussion gently
    Against my soul
    Moving
    Moving like waves
    in a still sea
    Timing precision
    That 5th symphony

    Pure,
    Don’t end so soon
    Repeat that chord
    Conduct my mood
    Give me that sense
    Unity of harmony
    Strangers gathered
    Uniquely combining
    The sharp C
    Swear it knows me
    Elegantly moves
    Through bars
    No word
    Can replace you
    No thought but you
    Thank you
    5th symphony

  • Feel your Voice

    Feel your Voice

    Feel your voice around me
    Looking around with curiosity
    Sweetness in the air
    Melody everywhere
    Cannot locate you
    Needing to see you

    Feel your voice in my dreams
    Am I desperate, am I mean
    Torturing my own self
    Creating fantasy
    Anxiety of mystery

    Feel your voice on this phone
    Damn, I wish you were home
    Struggling waiting patiently
    Nothing is real so it seems
    Wondering what it means

    Feel your voice subconsciously
    If this universe were paralleled
    I know we’d always be together
    Destiny’s cruelty
    Only have you in my dreams

  • Rhythms & Blues

    Rhythms & Blues



    Want these rhythms
    Not these blues
    All that pain
    That be on the news
    Want these rhythms
    Not these blues
    Primal fear
    Entirety of a society
    Tryna Kill Me

    Can’t walk in the store
    No longer welcome
    Hoodie covering my eyes
    Still handsome
    Just being low key
    Not tryna steal yo keys
    Just need a snack or two
    All of a sudden
    You shouting
    You screaming
    What did I even do
    Why I gotta get out
    Ain’t my money green too
    You keep yelling
    And let out that HULK MEAN
    You thinking I’m playing with you
    You pulling out on me
    Now you bout to see
    All this anger in me

    Want these rhythms
    Not these blues
    All that pain
    That be on the news
    Want these rhythms
    Not these blues
    Primal fear
    Entirety of a society
    Tryna Kill Me

    Innocent traffic stop
    Know I gotta stop
    Pull over nice and easy
    No need to be greasy
    Giving up the credentials
    On point is essential
    Now the dialogue begin
    I know we ain’t friends
    But I swear to God
    You tryna move me
    Make me something I’m not
    All kind of profanity
    Officer you need to stop
    Screaming so loudly
    Spit flying out your mouth
    I respond loudly
    Now your hands on me
    Like I did something wrong
    My demise in front of my own eyes

    Want these rhythms
    Not these blues
    All that pain
    That be on the news
    Want these rhythms
    Not these blues
    Primal fear
    Entirety of a society
    Tryna Kill Me

    The same song
    Stop resisting
    I’m not resisting
    Stop resisting
    I’m not resisting
    Stop moving
    You’re hurting me
    Stop moving
    You already got cuffs on me
    Shut your mouth
    You yelling at me
    He’s got a gun
    Never in my life
    Stay still
    Please, Somebody!
    Save me!
    From this murderous envy
    On my last breath
    Exhaled to my death

    Want these rhythms
    Not these blues
    All that pain
    That be on the news
    Want these rhythms
    Not these blues
    Primal fear
    Entirety of a society
    Tryna Kill Me

    #BlackLivesMatter #StopPoliceBrutality

  • Confusion

    Confusion

    Confusion building me
    Hearing intricacies so clearly
    Imagination over powering me
    Distilling the real of reality
    Mirror persecuting me

    Confusion breathing me
    Hesitating with each thought
    Rethinking everything about me
    Normally blaming what I was taught
    Mirror persecuting me

    Confusion becoming me
    Focusing on intangibilities
    Praying they avoid me
    Believing in new realities
    Mirror persecuting me

    Confusion bewildering me
    Devastating ideology of eternity
    Expecting life infinitely
    Ignoring the death of lividity
    Mirror persecuting me

    Confusion breaking me
    Contemplating life’s desires
    Morbid reality of destiny
    Entirely mortified fire
    Mirror persecuting me