Tag: blackwriter

  • Got Me Loving You

    Got Me Loving You

    It ain’t your brown eyes

    Looking deep into mine

    No that doesn’t draw me near

    Your skin tone

    Kissed by summers rays

    Doesn’t bring me any closer to you

    Something indescribable about you

    Got me loving you

    It Ain’t your fragrance

    That perfume fills the room

    Making me only think of you

    Not the way you move

    Everyone getting on your groove

    Trying to figure it out

    Even when I’m not with you

    Got me loving you

    It Ain’t your expertise

    Of everything within your reach

    Your command of people

    Has them follow you endlessly

    Not even your elegance

    Upon your entrance

    Everyone needing to see you

    Got me loving you

    It Ain’t your presence

    Desirable essence

    That savior faire

    Everyone knows you here

    Not anything I can tell you

    No matter what it is

    Just know one thing is true

    Got me loving you 

  • Praying

    Praying

    Prayed for rain,

    Now I’m standing in mud

    Really thought I knew what I wanted.

    It was dry and barren.

    Thought I just needed to be caring. 

    Confidently I knew the way

    Now that rain drained my day.

    Praying, for what I want

    Praying, for what I need

    Is praying the answer,

    Or should I just wait patiently?

    Prayed for strength,

    Now I’ve lost my compassion

    Really thought if I could just be stronger,

    I could make it last much longer.

    Tears.

    Heartache. 

    Now it’s gone, but so too is the passion.

    Now I can’t feel anything, just the weight of this strength.

    Praying, for what I want.

    Praying, for what I need.

    Is praying the answer,

    Or should I just wait patiently?

    Prayed and prayed, but I’m still in need. 

    Got every single thing that I’ve prayed for, yet I’m empty. 

    Learn to accept and manage, instead praying for that greener grass.

    It’s all just an illusion, and this too shall pass.

    Praying, for what I want.

    Praying, for what I need.

    Is praying the answer,

    Or should I just wait patiently?

  • Just ain’t right

    Just ain’t right

    Coming in late at night

    Something

    Just doesn’t feel right

    Gut telling me

    There’s something

    I don’t wanna know

    Asking you random questions

    Hoping you come real slow

    Nothing is wrong

    Yeah, I heard what you said

    But this feeling

    Stays inside my head

    Suspiciously I stare at you

    Now you frustrated

    You looking different

    Can’t recognize that scent

    Something just ain’t right

    The way you coming home

    Each and every night

    Something just ain’t right

    You can’t even look at me

    What is it you expect of me

    Tryna have this conversation with you

    You avoiding every question

    What did I do to you

    Your avoidance is worrying

    Got me thinking

    That something is missing

    Missing something obvious

    Because your answers are dubious

    What should I expect

    When I feel the neglect

    You losing my respect

    Now you slowly

    Looking uneasy

    What is it

    Oh, now you feel me

    Feel me, leaving

    Something just ain’t right

    They way you coming home

    Each and every night

    Something just ain’t right

    You can even look at me

    What is it you expect of me

    Listen to me

    Loud and clearly

    Never repeating this

    So I hope you hear

    I know you

    Like I know me

    And I know this feeling

    When I’m uneasy

    Whether you admit it or not

    I know you doing something

    That just ain’t right

    Don’t care if you don’t come clean

    My conscience ain’t feeling a thing

    So keep the lie to yourself

    And let me be by myself

    Don’t need anyone else

    Something just ain’t right

    They way you coming home

    Each and every night

    Something just ain’t right

    You can even look at me

    What is it you expect of me

  • Family

    Family

    Faint memories

    Devastated me

    The fallacy of belief

    Holding onto fiction

    Artistically describing

    Each and every interaction

    Remembering Christmas morning

    Thinking we were a family

    Haunted memories

    Seeing who made you

    Each time I thought

    Even for an instance

    The other half of me

    Finally wanted me

    Just an illusion I created

    Wanting family

    Fake Memories

    Created multi parent household

    Lasted until I was 10 years old

    Held me and allowed me to grow

    Didn’t even know

    Parents weren’t suppose to go

    Slowly realized

    The one sided family

    Angered memories

    Woke up realizing

    Single parent household

    Faults amplified

    The rejection taken hold

    Half of what made me

    No longer wanted me

    That’s my family

    Ignored memories

    Siblings visited

    Far off and distant

    Never an embrace

    Barely a hello

    Realized, for the first time

    I was alone

    Abandoned by family

  • Should Be Sleeping

    Should Be Sleeping

    I should be sleeping

    But my mind won’t rest

    Keep replaying today

    Our conversation from today

    Wondering how you feeling

    How are you dealing

    Cause some days

    My heart hurts

    When I know

    The whole day will pass

    And I won’t see that ass

    I should be sleeping

    But I still have stuff on my mind

    Need to get this out

    Truth please set me free

    Please allow her to see

    That I’m in love

    With her love

    Loving that love

    That she gives relentlessly

    Without judgement

    Without cruelty

    Purely love

    Sweet destiny

    I should be sleeping

    But I need you to listen

    I would give it all up

    Every day

    The most joyous day

    The happiest week

    The longest night

    Milestone after milestone

    I would give it all up

    For a chance to rewind time

    To tell you this from the beginning

    To tell you you are the shit

    And I fucked Up

    And missed it.

    I should be sleeping

    But I’m here trying to live

    But it’s different when

    You have to fight to live

    When you ain’t enjoying life

    You are just a part of life

    Incomplete, unfocused

    Transverse time as if there is time

    Awaiting the end, because the past passed

    Seeing that parallel timeline

    Plotting intricate plots

    Plotting to jump to that line

    That line where we are together

    Talking shit

    Blending shit

    Rolling shit

    Smoking shit

  • Grief

    Grief

    Midst of the grief

    Fighting the belief

    Everything has its place

    So must this pain

    In my face

    Pulling at me

    With every single breath

    Waking with tears

    My own dreams

    Perpetuating fears

    Deep into grief

    Asking questions rhetorically

    Only God can answer me

    Knees bend in pain

    Screaming to remain sane

    Replaying each scene

    Was it meant to be me

    Not accepting this destiny

    Fire keeps growing in me

    Afraid to sleep

    Alone in this grief

    Every grief opening

    Every single time

    I felt this pain

    Appreciating lessons

    Some told remain old

    Expecting something different

    Hard to bear this

    Praying for something

    Not even sure what yet

    Buried in grief

    Flowing through me

    Essence of everything

    Innocence was fleeting

    Unable to protect me

    Envied each day dream

    Thinking I’d be free

    I changed locations

    Escaped reality

    But it never left me

  • I Know That

    I Know That

    I know that I know you

    This cannot be the first time

    Like our souls, our souls

    They’ve always been intertwined

    Your presence creates euphoria

    And I need more of ya

    Whatever happened last lifetime

    Has nothing to do with this time

    And now that I found you again

    You will always be mine.

    I know that I know you

    There is nothing strange between us

    So we can talk like there’s no space between us

    As we reflecting on each other’s energy

    All around us nothing but envy

    And they wondering

    How long we known each other

    How long we been together

    But we are beyond the concept of time

    Our mental interwoven as if we are time

    I know that I know you

    Close your eyes so your soul can see mine

    So we can communicate on a different realm

    Please don’t feel overwhelmed

    It’s just that cosmic energy

    That euphoric energy

    That constantly magnetizes my soul to yours

    If nothing else please believe I am yours

    And only collectively can we achieve serenity

    Ignoring everything that dissipates our energy

    I know that I know you

    Generationally negativity pulls us apart

    Everlastingly our love restarts

    And somehow I am drawn to you

    Even if I never know your name

    I know that I know you

    And I can feed off your every thought

    Randomly conceiving of weird innuendos

    And I’m all in cause I had the same thought

    No matter what, keeping everything about you

  • If Only….

    If Only….

    If only we were strong enough

    As a collective

    Not to view professional sports

    As the golden ticket

    To somehow believe

    We are more than our physicality

    We could literally create

    More than we have already invented

    We could absolutely lead

    Further than we ever have managed

    If only we saw the Negro League

    As a point of strength

    Not a means to an end

    Although we were winning

    We claimed it as a failure

    As those that are unlike us

    Didn’t accept our win

    And I just don’t know when

    When we will see ourselves

    As the victories that we are

    Surpassing mediocrity

    Elevating from slavery

    Yet, are we free?

    If only we could see the beauty

    Seeing females as if they are princesses and queens

    Seeing men as if they are princes and kings

    Creating a new narrative

    Where celebrating the first

    To do something

    In someone else’s culture

    Is no longer seen as a monumental thing

    Where our boundaries and breakthroughs

    Are only self defined

    Where I don’t need to prove shit to no one

    That could care less about me

    And I don’t need to trumpet

    That I am as good as someone else

    I can literally just be myself

    If only we could plant new seeds

    Nurtured with a new energy

    No longer naming this new being

    Based on old things

    If slavery was such a bad thing

    Why do we hold onto to any of it?

    The names, the celebrations

    Or even the religions

    That were only allowed

    To ensure we remained a human plow

    It wasn’t the relinquishing

    Of prison gates that granted freedom

    We were simply told we were allowed to go

    Up until that point we mentally

    Weren’t allowed to go

    And still to this day

    That very minimal energy

    Never balanced the scales

    So it’s surprising me

    When people say they are free

    If only we knew the cost of freedom

    Do we give our life?

    So that the next life will be free

    Do we sacrifice our culture?

    Creating it into an economy

    So that the next generation

    Will have less pressure to fit in

    Do we call out the ignorance?

    And beg for people

    To look at us different

    Do we take up arms?

    And beg for people

    To treat us different

    Do we realize

    That we aren’t even the root of the issue

    Do we continue to ignore

    The issues rooted in the formation of this place

    It is not anything we can do or not do

    There is this every present belief

    That the revolt that never happened

    Against those of European descent

    Will one day happen

    Against those of European descent

    I have to just tell you

    No one wants it to happen

    Except those of European descent

    If only everyone loved unconditionally…

  • Can I Get To Know You?

    Can I Get To Know You?

    Can I get to know ya

    Wanna know what’s real with ya

    Cause it has to be something

    That I’m missin with ya

    Its like every once in a while

    Everything calms down

    Like I’m in the eye of the storm

    And I asking myself what’s wrong

    What is going on in this place

    Never seen such a calm space

    Can I get to know ya

    Can I get to know ya

    Cause Its obvious I don’t know ya

    I know I been in your presence

    Cannot even count the times

    But you got my face wound up

    Should I be shocked or surprised

    My pessimism cannot appreciate this

    Optimistically I’ve been waiting for this

    Looking skeptically, not sure what to do

    Should I sit directly next to you

    Can I get to know ya

    Can I get to know ya

    I must need a refresher course

    Cause when I see ya

    I don’t know the course

    Is it rough and rigid

    Memorized your digits

    Bewildered by this change

    When someone asked

    I didn’t even know my own name

    If I had one wish in this world

    Can I get to know ya

    Can I get to know ya

    Need to avoid those sore spots

    When you making dinner

    I’m cleaning the pots

    If you sweep

    Then I’ll vacuum

    Taking the trash out

    You ain’t got to ask me

    Filling every void that I can

    I’ll show you all that I am

    Can I get to know ya

  • Counting Up Missed Opportunities

    Counting Up Missed Opportunities

    Counting up missed opportunities

    Somehow they didn’t become dear to me

    When you were here

    Life was forever

    So there was always another opportunity

    Then the life I was expecting

    Didn’t become reality

    And all those words

    Each thought

    Every dream

    Just turned into a fantasy

    Counting up missed opportunities

    Reflecting on personal interactions

    As if they were just simple transactions

    Debits and credits constantly

    Managing self fulfilling accounts

    Never took into account

    That one day the coffers would be empty

    Hearing the words didn’t scare me

    Just left me empty

    They said you were gone

    But no one said what was wrong

    Counting up missed opportunities

    Convincing myself

    Everything happens for a reason

    Telling myself

    God doesn’t make mistakes

    Looking in the mirror

    Hoping to see strength

    Instead of this reality

    I absolutely want to avoid the ceremony

    I think it’s called paying our last respects

    Instead I turned off everything I had left

    Counting up missed opportunity

    Admitting each mistake I’ve made

    Making vain promises

    That I will never be in this situation again

    Promising to tell everyone I love them

    Promising to make time while they are here

    Promising that nothing material will interfere

    Promising that this pain will end

    Yet I stand over this casket

    Tears breaking through

    Realizing every one of my sins

  • Happy Anniversary

    Happy Anniversary

    Dear Sweetie

    Dear Sweetie,

    You don’t know me

    I been here, going through

    The motions, the fears, the tears

    It’s all I could manage,

    Sitting here

    Waiting for you

    Dear Sweetie

    In my mind

    You are obviously

    The right choice,

    Subtle and powerful choice

    Constantly I improve day by day

    Knowing you’ll come my way

    Dear Sweetie

    Dreams come true

    Circumstances create opportunity

    Now I’m bumping into you,

    Cannot ever let it go

    Dear Sweetie.


    Stuck in My Heart

    Sitting in the dark

    Watching that little light burn

    Power out

    From that powerful storm

    Exhausted

    From the early start

    But I got you stuck in my heart

    Wind howls

    Sounding like knocks on the door

    Feeling the emptiness of you leaving to my core

    Powerless

    Too little too late

    You had to depart

    But I got you stuck in my heart

    Wishing softly

    Mind clear as the morning bright

    Wanting to love you in this still night

    Don’t know where you are

    Where is my sweetheart

    But I got you stuck in my heart

    Silent stillness

    Surrounding everything about me

    Wishing for a moonlit beach

    Feels so right to me

    Longing for that perfect moment

    Missing that beautiful art

    But I got you stuck in my heart


    Right to My Heart

    Every time I think

    We drifting apart

    You say something to me

    Like you speaking

    Right to my heart

    And In a matter of minutes

    Its like we have a fresh start

    And this smile

    Will last for a while

    Been so long since we talked

    I know we don’t need to talk

    To stay as close as we stay

    It’s a special bond

    In a special way

    And each in every way

    I’m never good

    Until I know you’re ok

    I mean

    I need to know

    How you feeling

    Cause ain’t nothing

    More revealing

    Every time I think

    We drifting apart

    You say something to me

    Like you speaking

    Right to my heart

    And In a matter of minutes

    Its like we have a fresh start

    And this smile

    Will last for a while

    Sitting here just thinking

    Everything you say

    Means so much to me

    Because it always

    Has a deeper meaning

    So I slowly

    Receive every word

    I’d be nothing without you

    Why did I ever even think

    I could ever be without you

    And I never will try again

    Loving you, only way to win

    Every time I think

    We drifting apart

    You say something to me

    Like you speaking

    Right to my heart

    And In a matter of minutes

    Its like we have a fresh start

    And this smile

    Will last for a while

    There is no more

    I can even say

    I love you


    About Us

    The best part about us

    Is the constant us

    Never have I

    Felt anything like this

    When a new day

    Feels like a first kiss

    The constant

    The resurgence of love

    When something happens

    And I fall in love again

    Loving my best friend

    The best part of us

    We are not the same

    Will never answer questions equally

    Do not finish each other’s sentences

    Yet we know each other unequivocally

    This is on everything

    Loving you unconditionally

    Something innate within

    Through every joy

    Through every sin

    Holding you infinitely

    The best part about us

    The commitment shared

    Latching tightly

    The vow promised

    Just oft pristine beach

    Our essential foundation

    Within reach

    Smiling proudly

    Bonding through it all

    Remembering each moment

    Remembering the love

    The best part about us

    After the prayer is done

    Witnessing Gods grace

    Strengthening us

    Helping us

    Maintaining us

    Through the every moment

    In those random moments

    Doing the simplest of things

    Even if we are just being

    Stay having this love thing

  • Subtle Breeze

    Subtle Breeze

    Staring into this subtle breeze

    Continuous cloud blocking the burning sun

    Endless sand finally touching my homeland

    Left to wonder, and understand this new summer

    This new summer showing me the past

    Encapsulating every bias I have

    Serenity can only be leased

    Why must I have this break in peace?

    This break in peace

    Pounds a deafening frequency

    Wanting to believe in something

    Not destined for me

    For me the world is too much

    Staggered in analysis causing paralysis

    Yet I will claim

    It’s all in Christ’s name

    In Christ’s name I pray

    If I were a strong as he

    Then I would know what this life really means

    Selfishly believing in a feeling I’ll never know

    I’ll never know what it means

    To sacrifice your own life

    For someone you don’t even know

    Somehow finding an existence in everything I hold dear

    Everything I hold dear

    Held in the chasm of my mind

    Holding every doubt with ease

    Staring into the subtle breeze

  • Democracy

    Democracy

    Within its thrills of DEMOCRACY

    I think I see more than what

    I’m supposed to see

    Things are fair and just

    Because that’s what you’re meant to see

    But in the midst of the struggle

    Poor will fight poor

    To maintain the wealthy

    The wealthy elite

    That’s who the stars represent

    The stripes for everyone else’s

    Pain and punishment

    It’s gotten so irate

    That the Lords and the Saxons

    Argue about unending debates

    Gross neglect is DEMOCRACY’S fate

    You just have to stop and think

    What’s the purpose of this DEMOCRACY

    For all the times that it existed

    Mass murders were a common existence

    King’s fought side by side with their armies

    No one was above peace and harmony

    Then realization manifested into reality

    An elitist dying from war would never be reality

    War has always existed

    It is a animalistic condition

    To have everything you can possible hold

    No one wants to really share

    Until they are past tense and old

    So we continue propagating this myth

    That we are free

    And it’s due to DEMOCRACY

  • Lost So Much

    Lost So Much

    Lost so much, but still have everything

    Only possible loses are material things

    Remember seeing people transition

    The mystery is revealed in everything

    King Bryant proclaimed with thunderous sound

    As long as you say my name I live.

    So now I say it everyday

    Accepting he is still with me

    Recognizing I was mourning

    Future memories I didn’t even see

    Lost so much, but still have everything

    Only possible loses are material things

    Growing up with that key round neck

    That shit wasn’t easy for me

    Big as I was, not even two digits yet

    Walking past all kinds of mess

    Nothing to do at home but create fantasy

    Realized I wasn’t lonely, just was being me

    But I damn sure guaranteed

    My seed wouldn’t go that way

    Lost so much, but still have everything

    Only possible loses are material things

    Grew up with so much

    I was giving it away

    Thinking these little trinkets were in the way

    There was a whole world to see

    But I was so busy enjoying being me

    Meeting social expectations

    I ventured out, found out what the world was about

    Saw I wasn’t missing a thing, but me

    Lost so much, but still have everything

    Only possible loses are material things

    seeing pain from different points of view

    From nicotine, from alcohol, sex, narcotics

    From fixing cars, fixing the yard, painting new paint

    People doing anything to avoid what life brings

    I saw a bunch of people out in this world

    Trying to find that solitude that I released

    Laughing at the the psychology of my disbelief

    We are all missing the opportunity to be me

  • Prayer Was Revealed

    Prayer Was Revealed

    Maybe if you understood where I’m coming from

    You’d understand what I’m talking about

    Every prayer I prayed was revealed

    From little things

    Material things

    Even women

    And shiny things

    Every single prayer

    Didn’t matter how rare

    Maybe if you understood where I’m coming from

    You’d understand what I’m talking about

    Praying is a powerful commitment

    Aligning your frequency

    To your uppermost limit

    Self proclaimed gurus

    Claim to have figured it out

    But it ain’t none of that

    It’s just what God is about

    Maybe if you understood where I’m coming from

    You’d understand what I’m talking about

    No matter what I prayed

    I got more than what I asked for

    Whenever I prayed for a dollar

    There was more than a federal tax

    Because after paper start coming

    You can never relax

    More and more is all you can pray for

    Maybe if you understood where I’m coming from

    You’d understand what I’m talking about

    Then through some act of destiny

    I accepted what prayer is meant to be

    It isn’t for any specific thing

    But showing gratitude for everything

    Permitting your mind to let go of this earth

    Align with Gods will and all its worth

    All the prayer you need is to appreciate what God needs.

  • The Future

    The Future

    I can see into the future

    There are no mics to drop

    Nothing spectacular to convey

    The first lesson you shall learn

    You will not see everyday

    I can see into the future

    Disasters are really triumphs

    They bring life out of death

    Emphasizing what is left

    Yet we only see the theft

    I can see into the future

    The earth spinning on its axis

    Multitude avoiding taxes

    Ignoring the humanity of community

    While wondering, is it me?

    I can see into the future

    The dawn of each day

    With every setting sun

    Someone leaves this place

    Before their work has begun

    I can see into the future

    Dare not share this thought

    Freedom is not free

    Created from destruction

    Ignored in selfish possibility

    I can see into the future

    The caste is set in stone

    Reminisce of illegitimate wealth

    Creating limitations

    That only apply to someone else

    I can see into the future

    The image of Heaven stands

    The North Star of every land

    Keeping mischievous beings in check

    Preventing the evolution of what’s next

  • Been Asking

    Been Asking

    Been asking God for you

    Never knew it was you

    Didn’t know I already knew you

    Everything I needed

    Right in front of me

    It was all in you

    Been asking for this

    Someone to share every detail with

    Without grades or judgement

    Spiritually recognized

    Holding on for dear life

    Realizing the anointed life

    Been asking God for you

    Someone that cares

    For what I’m going through

    So long been alone for so long

    Didn’t realize when I was with you

    You were the one to confide to

    Been asking for this

    This ain’t even physical

    Feeling your words, it’s emotional

    Finding the next step is challenging

    Digging into ever crate I can find

    Can’t keep you off my mind

    Been asking God for you

    And I’m so thankful

    That God already has you

    Already breathing in you

    Cause my mind would be different

    If your calling wasn’t heaven sent

  • I don’t know what to do

    I don’t know what to do

    I don’t know what to do

    Everything was happening

    And the happenings

    That just kept happening

    And no one knew what to do

    They thought isolation

    Would somehow help us

    And now I’m left wondering

    Because you are not here

    Instead of staying away

    Thinking I was keeping you safe

    Should I have stayed closer

    To keep you safe

    Now there is nothing left

    Just those memories

    cherishing every moment

    That we had

    Trying my hardest

    Yet I’m still sad.

    I don’t know what to do

    It all happened so fast

    We just spoke last week

    You were a little tired

    But you could still speak

    Then calls were unanswered

    There were no more social media post

    It felt like the world went silent

    Calling around to everyone

    Yet no one heard from you

    The nurse said it wasn’t going well

    There was this eery feeling

    Wondering without information

    Stuck second guessing

    Each piece of sporadic information

    The ventilator was working well

    That’s what we were told

    Nothing to worry about

    Everything would be O.K.

    You weren’t that old

    I don’t know what to do

    The hospital called

    We still cannot see you

    Not even to say our final goodbye

    I pray to God that this isn’t true

    What prayer do I need to pray

    What else can I possibly do

    There is so much life left

    Cannot fathom it’ll be without you

    I’m lost in this moment

    Begging for another moment

    Heart levied with anguish

    Not knowing what to do next

    Everyone is calling everyone else

    How do we move forward

    Recognizing there will be no closure

    The tears flowed swiftly

    Lost every sense of composer

    When they finally told me

    Your life was over

    I don’t know what to do

    Standing here in the open air

    Finding comfort in memories

    Sharing tears openly

    Writing your name clearly

    Speaking your name loudly

    Celebrating every day

    As if you are still here with me

    Closing my eyes

    Just for a moment of peace

    Forever more

    I will eternally say your name

    Smiling momentarily

    Believing holistically

    There is life after this world

    We will be reunited eventually

    Holding each day from now til then

    Burying your earthly shell

    Hoping that somehow

    You will live through me

  • Final Time To Say Farewell

    Final Time To Say Farewell

    Final time to say farewell

    Now I’m supposed to pretend

    That all is well

    Remembering that exact building

    Been there a few times

    Never once for a reason

    That didn’t leave a tear inside

    Final time to say farewell

    Now I’m supposed to believe

    You are in this heavenly place

    And I’ll never see you again

    Until I meet my own fate

    But I’ve done so many wrong things

    It’s just too late

    Final time to say farewell

    Recognizing you cannot see me

    There’s no breath left

    Ignoring the depths of eternity

    Knowing you cannot feel me

    Praying you knew

    Everything you are to me

    Final time to say farewell

    As if you won’t forever exist

    I swear to you

    I will always remember you

    Something this world will never take away

    Digesting your words

    Just seeing your face

    Final time to say farewell

    Wishing I said what needed to be said

    Hoping life won’t end where you lay

    Believing tomorrow brings a new day

    Wanting to know you can REST

    Needing something to believe IN

    Praying for your eternal PEACE

  • That Poetry

    That Poetry

    I am not a poet

    I am a lover

    Everything about anything

    It is all about love for me

    Instantaneously

    I will release it

    Given it away freely

    As if

    We spent every day freely

    As if

    Nothing else existed

    Besides your voice

    That poetry

    I am not real

    I am imagined

    Something about everything

    Love evolves within me

    Spontaneously

    You are always there

    Remember the summer scene

    As if

    Every car ride was serene

    As if

    We were an eternity

    Feeling your voice

    That poetry

    I am not that

    I am a belief

    Holding onto anatomical dreams

    Using future titles to speak life

    Sporadically

    I am my worse enemy

    Created obstacles

    As if

    I couldn’t handle the certainty

    As if

    Destiny was avoidable

    Hearing that love

    That poetry

  • Trying to Write it Out

    Trying to Write it Out

    If I could write out everything,

    Maybe it would be something new to sing.  

    The stories of the past weigh on me.

    Never found anyone to share with me. 

    Everyone wants me to solve their problems,

    But what do I do about my problems.

    Trying to write it out. 

    The pain. 

    Lost dreams. 

    Unfulfilled hope. 

    Small things. 

    Embarrassed for you to know,

    Everything I do is not in control. 

    A lot of gut reactions,

    Just so happens to turn out right for someone else. 

    But for me, the gut reactions don’t work. 

    Just endure day to day.  

    Trying to write it out. 

    The pain. 

    Lost dreams. 

    Unfulfilled hope. 

    Small things. 

    Never had a good day in my life. 

    Moments of smiles since I was a child. 

    People promising fake beliefs,

    The disappointment turned me really mean. 

    Now I cannot believe what people say. 

    People just say shit to get you out the way. 

    Trying to write it out. 

    The pain. 

    Lost dreams. 

    Unfulfilled hope. 

    Small things. 

    Cannot spend my whole life in complaints. 

    So I just keep the train moving,

    Pretending day to day.

    Making people believe everything is O.K..

    Then I noticed ,

    People just accept what they want to believe.

    And what’s really going on will remain unseen.

    Trying to write it out. 

    The pain. 

    Lost dreams. 

    Unfulfilled hope. 

    Small things. 

  • Good Morning

    Good Morning

    Saying good morning

    Each and every morning

    So you know

    So you can feel

    This love is surreal

    When I wake up

    You’re on my mind

    Every single morning

    That first thought

    Is of you

    Even in the middle of the day

    Still feels like a good morning in a way

    There is something new

    This thing is refreshing

    Thoughts of us reminiscing

    Things we did

    Love we shared

    It’s everlasting experience love

    Year after year

    Sun is setting

    Umbrella protecting us from the sun

    Relaxing in summers warmth

    That good morning feeling

    Energy fueling me

    What else could it be

    Willingly accepting destiny

    Something about this

    I never want to miss

    Nights sweet calm

    Holding onto my arm

    You are leaning so gently

    That unique feeling sneaks in

    It’s a good morning again

    And I’m looking for that sense

    Trying my best to find that pleasure

    Everyday I’m learning

    Loving you into the next good morning.

  • Just Writing

    Just Writing

    Just Writing

    Putting words down

    Nothing else works

    Only way to get these words out

    Let these feelings feel the air

    Get these feelings out of my nonexistent hair

    Getting word indigestion

    Pepto Bismal ain’t working

    Gotta make these words start working

    If I keep them in any longer

    Festering may make them stronger

    Then my outward action

    Would reflect my inward frustration

    Just Writing

    The endless feeling of WTF in my space

    Needing peace.

    Not in these streets.

    In my soul

    Got me feeling real real old.

    Starting out I grew up spoiled

    Far from rough and rugged

    More like educationally stimulated

    I never waited for anything I wanted in life

    My attitude is Atomic for the rest of my life

    Fuck 0-100. 

    I’m at 100. 

    Stay at 100. 

    Live at 100

    Why would I ever stop this flow

    Just Writing

    Ain’t no reason to regret where I go

    Everything I do

    Everything I see

    Something new to learn

    Something more I can be

    I specifically focus on the better me

    Trying to catch that dude

    No matter where he may be

    I’m not looking

    I’m on the hunt. 

    Stalking the future me…

    Just Writing

    I’m  hungry

    I need more than what I was supposed to be

    If I had more energy my body would levitate

    Don’t need to live forever

    I need to be forever

    I meed my children’s kids’ great great Grand children

    To hear my voice at critical points in their life

    Need them to know

    I’ll never know them

    But I’ll love them with my whole life

    The pain and tragedy of my current life

    More like seeds being planted

    More like the deep darkness of the earth’s riches. 

    Just Writing

    Struggling to breathe

    But surrounded by nutrients that build me up

    Absorbing all these different things

    Just to make me appear tough

    If you think talking to me about big shit

    That will somehow make me

    Stop working on my own shit

    You couldn’t influence me with trillions in riches

    I’m not him.

    The soul I have is not for sale 

    You can’t burn me with them bum bitches.

    I’m only loyal to what I know is real.

    Just Writing

    Either you here for me. 

    Or you not. 

    Ain’t no in-between. 

    Ain’t no. 

    Maybe later. 

    Ain’t nothing else besides we rocking till the last breath.

    If those ain’t your words.

    I don’t fuck with you.

    Just Writing 

    Nothing new going on in my head. 

    Just getting out this old shit

    Can’t take it with me when I’m dead.  

    There is something for real

    About that glass being half full. 

    You can only get about one half more

    Before you are really full. 

    So I’m going for empty

    Dumping it all out

    On steps and i’m a slinky. 

    Dumping it all out

    Whether you are with me

    And even if you are against me

    All this potential energy

    It stays fucking up my  synergy

    So today converting it kinetically

    Into something that has longevity.

    Talking but I ain’t talking about shit. 

    Just purging out last year so this year will fit.

    Just Writing

    I’m on some delete all that bullshit.

    SELECT * and deleted that shit. 

    That recycle bin just wants me

    To keep hold of the old me

    Trying to convince me

    That the old can become new 

    But I’m telling you

    What matters can be destroyed

    And something new is created

    Every single time I make some noise

    A new opportunity can materialize

    But I don’t get hypnotized. 

    It’s just one of the many things that I do really really well. 

    If you cannot tell I can even write well.  

    Just Writing

    Wake up wondering

    Wondering around waiting

    Looking in the past with my hourglass

    Counting each drop of sand in my hand

    Remembering each grain

    In the sand of time

    Now it’s my time

    The right time

    Creating sands of time

    No need to flip it over

    I’ve got more coming

    I make my own sand

    Even while I’m wasting

    That last bit of sand

    From the sand man.

  • I Miss You

    I Miss You

    Sun setting through the trees

    Last of the summer breeze

    Lost in the future me

    The present too much for me

    Words cannot reach you

    Not tryna to preach to you

    Just need you to know

    I miss you.

    It’s only when the wind blows

    That I truly truly know

    That subtle existence

    We cannot hesitate on this

    Feel this season as the reason

    Finally seeing reality

    Just need you to know

    I miss you.

    Closed eyes to the moon light

    Feeling the stars gaze

    Your energy moves me

    Even when I’m on empty

    End of time nearing me

    Just need you near me

    Just need you to know

    I miss you.

  • Love Never Leaves

    Love Never Leaves

    Can’t have you

    The way I want

    The way I need

    Why does it feel this way

    Feeling so deeply

    Hearing your name

    I ain’t the same

    Whenever I hear

    Your name

    Now you saying

    I’ll never again

    Hear your name

    Can’t we even talk

    After the endless dark

    Waiting patiently

    Can you feel me

    Why the distance

    Feeling your absence

    For the last time

    If you leaving

    Just leave

    You pretending

    To love me, when

    Love never leaves

  • Alone For So Long

    Alone For So Long

    Surrounded by breathing things and 100 things to do.  everything strange, no one is real.  In my own space,  thoughts here, serene emptiness.

    Alone for So long.

    Spinning endlessly around this sun, thinking about the first day I saw my son. Planting new seeds with old pain each generation thrown to death. 

    Alone for So long. 

    Systemically enslaved.  Mentally starving for the potential I so eloquently locked away.  Wanting that Cosby Show life, deep rooted emotional pain. 

    Alone for So long.

    Socially inept.  Leading or a shadow stuck between.  No interest in just being seen. I don’t know society.  Don’t know people. I know alone.  

    Alone for So long.

  • Divine Sanity

    Divine Sanity

    Just met you

    Traveling through the universe

    Kept thinking I missed you already

    Whole life a curse

    Woke up anew

    Just felt you

    Never laid one eye on you

    Yet I know you’re there

    Patiently I wait to meet you

    Open our minds

    To new hearts

    Our new life starts

    Releasing past guilt

    Atonement for legacy’s will

    Mastering the path ahead

    Shackled discarded limbs

    Sun’s release of energy

    Past now dead

    Cold heart becoming warm

    Anticipating end of the storm

    The smile upon my face

    The acceptance of grace

    Knowing the destiny

    Divine sanity

  • Chasing

    Chasing

    Chasing, endlessly pursuing

    Wanting elusive things aloft beings

    Experiences unmet

    Energy spent wanting

    Chasing, constantly waiting

    Hoping for a different outcome

    Feelings damaged

    Faith diminished

    Chasing, patiently seeing

    Living a tumultuous fantasy

    Life wasting

    Laugh gone

    Chasing, new reality

    Looking, new paths revealed

    Patiently waiting

    Pleasing satisfaction

  • Beautiful Feeling

    Beautiful Feeling

    Beautiful feeling

    Knowing someone that knows you

    Completely open to everything you do

    Support you even if it means they ain’t with you

    Simple text just to know I’m thinking bout you

    Year after year

    We back again

    Captivating feeling.

    Beautiful feeling

    Seeing that same face

    The same way I saw you from back in the day

    Remember those daytime rendezvous

    Eventually nighttime engagements

    No matter what it was

    It was always in love

    Lovely feeling

    Beautiful feeling

    Just takes 1 text

    And smiles begin

    Through every moment in time

    Still having that same friend

    Knowing how critical they are to me

    Be that bottom jawn if need be

    Grateful feeling

  • That Piece

    That Piece

    Calling a name I don’t know

    To do some things I’ve never seen

    Going to go places I’ve never been

    Just to see your face

    Be present in your space

    That piece of serenity

    Calling this peace into existence

    Not even sure what I am missing

    Persevering through every obstacle

    The world is simple and cruel

    Masked by this innocence

    That piece of persistence

    Calling and screaming to be heard

    Fantasy controlling reality

    Nothing decent within me

    Aggressively deceitfully being me

    Subtly orchestrating inevitably

    That piece of hypocrisy

    Calling for assistance

    Realizing I cannot handle this

    Monumentally too much for me

    Devastated no one responded to me

    The realization of independence

    That piece of creative license

  • Epiphany of Pain

    Epiphany of Pain

    The Epiphany of Pain

    Imaging the first devastation

    Never imaging something so impactful

    Powerful words rattling my psyche

    Humbled by a chance opportunity

    To be the chosen few

    Nothing prepared us

    for what lay ahead

    Manhood, shining in the thunderous rain

    The Epiphany of Pain

    If we could yet awake from that dream

    Could not fathom the reality of things

    The physical challenges awaited us

    Mentally we were barely off of empty

    Linked in friendship kept our resiliency

    Rolling one after another

    Scholarship, massacred into our brain

    The Epiphany of Pain

    Illogically slowly accepting this fate

    Engulfed with idealistic thoughts

    Walking bridges others have taught

    Pursuing obstacles with a dogmatic view

    Listening to truths spoken by twisted knaves

    Realizing the crystal stair ancestors had to bare

    Perseverance, grinding to become insane

    The Epiphany of Pain

    Accepting the fallacy of all I hold dear

    There was but six standing there

    Climbing through the the darkest night

    Shoulder to shoulder, days to night

    Rebuilt in the shadow of KAOS hard ways

    Souls combined into the Kaotix 6ix

    Uplift, birthed in the hardest of ways

  • Releasing

    Releasing

    Releasing every thought

    Each perspective

    All ideas that contain

    All the limitations I have every experienced

    The thoughts that prevent progression

    The idea that is now a nightmare

    Releasing it all in the crisp cool air

    Releasing every pain

    Thorn of thoughts

    Piercing the flesh of forgiveness

    Debilitating fruits of labor

    Void of thought, is what I savor

    Enabling the strength to succeed

    That’s all I really need

    Releasing every history

    Today is a new thing

    Intentionally filling it with new dreams

    Building ideas, concepts, pure energy

    Interlocking joy with jeopardy

    Risking it all on everything

    Just to hear the birds sing

    Releasing every goal

    Built things on things that were old

    Expecting something new seems bold

    Sacrificing the intimate stories told

    From now on, leave the past alone

    Investing in what I can call my own

    Free to be alone

  • Lost My Mind

    Lost My Mind

    Lost my mind

    Saw your picture

    Something bout

    Those eyes

    Drew me closer

    Crush on you

    Since school

    Always excused

    Why I wasn’t

    With you

    Lost my mind

    Lost my mind

    Every time

    I see you

    It’s like

    The first time

    We got this

    Yo-Yo thing

    We can go back

    We go forth

    But we never lose

    What we endured

    Lost my mind

    Lost my mind

    Thinking bout you

    Keep thinking

    Bout that

    Dear thing born in you

    Straight missing you

    Distance guards us

    But that love

    It’s supernatural

    It’s so powerful

    Loving you

    Lost my mind.