Tag: Poem
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At My Lowest
At my lowest
Looking up at you
Somehow I know
You feel this too
This anguish
It’s controlling me
Don’t know what I do
If you weren’t here with me
At my lowest
I depend on you
Somehow I knew
I could share with you
And after it all
Still have each other
Whatever you need
Give me a call
At my lowest
I know this
You can’t count on me
Barely making it
Guilt is perplexing me
Recognizing inevitability
Knowing right, but
Doing wrong eventually
At my lowest
You looking down on me
Feeling of disappointment
It’s crushing me
Wondering through this
As if there was a hope
Doing anything
Unable to cope
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Thankfully
Thankfully
I can just write and write
And let every emotion out
That is what peace is about
Emotion creating expectations
Expectations leads to disappointment
Thankfully
I can go from frowns to smiles
Years ago
That same thing
It would take hundreds of miles
Now peace comes with a smile
Thankfully
There is no serenity unity
Unless there is peace individually
Releasing the pleasure
Looking toward the future
Attention to the culture
Thankfully
The power of the pen
It helps me lean
All the way in
Getting everything
All the way out
Thankfully
Even with defeat
I see the deceit
Now that I see it
There is nothing left to it
But to release it
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If I Could
If I could express this excitement
This discipline that I lack
Cannot control the inapt feeling
You sitting there talking
I feel every single word
And while you’re speaking
I send you my word
Mouthing my emotion
Hoping that cameras capture energy
And you feel this emotion
If I could utter the phrase
Without scaring you away
Something to let you know
I need you with me
And since that first day
When I knew you believed me
I knew within me
I’d never let you
Hate to even conceive
One day you’ll leave
If I could speculate momentarily
Do you have any feelings for me
Is there anything you see
That you truly long to see
Is this just another imaginary thing
I know my day dreams are a real thing
I cannot create something
Where there is nothing
And believe in it fully
Is that how you see me
If I could share this with you
Just need that good morning
That hello text from you
Fueling my burning desire
Remember that song
You light my entire fire
There is something
That belief you have in me
That something that
It gives me victory
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Woke Up Differently
There wasn’t a feeling of gratitude
Lost that entire mood
The comfort of kinship was missing
Within a single instance
It became about business
For whatever reason it seems
Woke Up Differently
There wasn’t this oneness anymore
The doubt was evidently plain
There are future plans
For now, everything is not the same
Collaboration falls short
Whenever there is different energy
Woke up Differently
There wasn’t this beautiful goal
All those words that were said
Suddenly they felt cold
There is something missing in understanding
I am the one left standing
Speculating an innate legacy
Woke Up Differently
There wasn’t this aura of peace
The cloud amongst this
Left me in an awkward place
Unable to understand the feeling on my face
Watching this new life progress
Lost of the sense connectivity
Woke Up Differently
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I See You …. Say Less
I see you
And I must admit
This is all some Ol’ selfish shit
I have separation anxiety
From people that I love
Eventually abandoned me
I’ve learned to never say goodbye
Just allow time
To work in time
This was the first time
I missed an opportunity I wanted
To say good-bye
Because I know In reality
You were coaching and supporting me
Appreciating every warm and gentle Hi
And I will miss you
As if I could give you a Good bye
And if I could have said good-bye
I would have shared
That I am proud of you
You spoke change into existence
…..
Now your are living in that blessing
Say LessI see you
Wanting the best for EVERYBODY
The desire is SO HIGH
It draws on your every emotion
It is not confusion or an illusion
The MDs may diagnose it differently
Listen to me…
You have that vision
You can visibly feel
What’s inside of every single body
It is natural
It is your God giving ability
Putting your guard down
Just so that we can feel more comfortable
Your tears lead to my tears
Even momentarily
You want US
To see in US
What YOU
already see in US
….
You are a beautiful energy
Say LessI see you
When you speak
I see your aura moving
Fluctuating effortlessly
Elating in natural movement
Limited only by your own limitations
The world will soon see a day
Classically elevating
Pirouetting simultaneously glowing
Allowing everything in you
To flow through you
The confidence of a mountain in a storm
The gentleness of a feather when it’s warm
Strength gliding through unknown scenes
…..
It is the real you
Say LessI see you
I read all the accolades
But didn’t realize who you were
Creating environments out of ether
Encapsulating what was once a whisper
Inspiring different thoughts
Welcoming silent pain
Enabling strangers to release misguided beliefs
I don’t know how you saw us
I could never fathom this situation
Magically maintaining our collective energy
Strategically pausing to allow growth
Intimately showing us our true worth
We are blessed to have you in our life
And When you said
You pray for us
…..
I couldn’t hold the tears anymore
Say LessI see you
Barley knew you
But I realized when you said hello
We were suddenly family
As your sheer essence is one of love
Embracing each one of us
Accepting, even from a physical distance
Every bit of feedback you’ve accepted
And even better
You did something with it
You are a protector instinctively
You care intrinsically
Giving of yourself limitlessly
Yet I wonder what we can do
If we could possibly feed into you
Giving daily as you breathe
…..
Your energy is your generosity
Say LessI see you
Walking firmly, confidently with humility
Understanding your history
For better or worse
You are destined for victory
Seeing the lose in your eyes
It comes as no surprise
The talisman reminding you
Of every struggle you’ve been through
It’s still one day more
Than he was allowed to endure
I hope that you can walk
More than just in the shadow of men
…..
You were created to be more
Than just a son, brother, uncle and friend
Say LessI see you
The real you
Filled with all kinds of energy
Mirror reflecting more than imagery
I can feel you
Bursting out of me
Yet I limit you
It’s what I was told to do
Get a good job
And a family too
Do what’s practical
But remain sensible
Suddenly
I can no longer subdue
…..
The real you
Say Less -
Desperate attention
Yearning solitude
Pursuing anyone
Irrelevant person
Desperate attention
Selfish attitude
Invaded peace
Limited proximity
Desperate attention
Affiliated quiet
Grappling affection
Irresponsibly loving
Desperate attention
Sheltered anxiety
Intimate desires
Instantly gratified
Desperate attention
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Demons
Got so many demons
Of shit
About people leaving
And shit
When people stay around
I’m out the shit
Only thing I’m use to
Is being alone
So when the house is full
It don’t feel like home
Feeling alone
just being me
People in my life
Stay reaching out
And if I knew they’d stay
I would reach on out
Reality different for me
Keeping distance
Plain as you can see
Treat everyone
Based on the torture of the past
It’s how I’m built
This wall will last
Got me before
Ain’t happening no more
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Remember
Remember our first real talk
Grand illusions of the future
Talking like this and that would happen
Spent hours just rapping
Learning, creating and growing dreams
Saw those things every night in my sleep
For some reason it never become reality
Remember how we use to do everything
Didn’t matter just took one ring
Wherever you were it was like gravity
I just needed you next to me
We went on and on for months
Didn’t always have to talk
Loved you and me in the dark.
Remember that first time
Missing you so hard after that trip
Was so hard with that first kiss
Something happened and I knew
I never ever wanted to be without you
Everyday was something new
Just cause it was with you
Remember those crazy missions
It was like complete submission
Surprised we kept our occupations
Cause we were always together
There was nothing better than TV all day
Chinese for lunch and dinner
I’d do anything for you
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I can’t Do It
I can’t do it
Celebrating mediocrity
Holding onto this vain belief
I am expected to celebrate freedom
I am expected to ignore to cost
I dare not say how many lives it has cost
If I start to imagine this differently
It feels like, really deep in me
We are still paying a cost
Because I must celebrate
Each and every time
Someone with skin color like mine
Is ALLOWED to do something for the first time
I can’t do it
I see the Queens accomplishments
But historically we know
It doesn’t mean the door is really open
It doesn’t mean they let her all the way in
It means they opened it just enough
Just enough for her to squeak in
As soon as she was in
That door was shut
Lights turned onto the highest lumens
To pick apart every single fault
As she checked and double checked
Preventing any failure to be unchecked
I can’t do it
I know I am expected to
Be proud of that common phrase
From over a century ago
The first person to do X with this skin tone
The thing that is hard for me
That skin tone never stopped anyone’s ability
In reality they could always do what they did
The only thing lacking was opportunity
This weight that is really upon me
Is indirectly we are celebrating one simple fact
Celebrating a decision that someone somewhere
Decided to give this skin tone a chance
I can’t do it
I want to celebrate progress
I want to see life for what it is meant to be
The most honorable gentleman said
We should be judged by the content of our character
He was eluding to the sheer possibility
That the skin we wear doesn’t define anything
You could have a dark hue and win
You could have a light hue and always sun
The celebratory part is when no ones hue matters
And it doesn’t stop there
It’s when our thoughts are the only equity
How do we celebrate that victory?
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Love Matters
Love matters
On my selfish shit
Saying insensitive things
Telling me about your day
I’m telling you how it impacts me
Hear you getting frustrated
I cannot understand
Now you all silent
Give me another chance
Let me listen to what you have to say
Texting you, constantly, no response
Calling you, voicemail, don’t hear a thing
See you’re online, your status got that green thing
It’s been like 24 hours since we talked
First time it’s been so long
Since we first met
Not sure what to do next
Hoping in the car need to find you
Need to figure out what’s going on
You responding like this is the finale
Those words entered me
Constricted my heart
So much pain… hating myself intensely
Love matters
Days and days feel like that past me
But you told me
You needed silence
I could barely speak
Words lost in this mood
Couldn’t work
Couldn’t move
Then out of nowhere
Got that text
You still mad at me
Feeling some type of way
But you still accepted
My love is here to stay
I am here
Right here for you
Don’t you know
Whether it’s a second
Or a lifetime
I love you
Love matters
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Peace God
Peace God
I’m not trying to interrupt
Just sharing some insight
Hopefully we can reconcile
Grant me just a while
If we both get this right
They’ll be less for us to disrupt
Reconciliation of God
Peace God
We are not the true enemy
This was all contrived intentionally
If you could spare me a minute
I can share why we are even in it
As long as we battle relentlessly
We can never be free
Understanding of God
Peace God
Slurs and innuendos aren’t the way
We were created purposely
Without any fear or disarray
But we’ve lost our way
It was really done subtly
We couldn’t keep the intruders at bay
Salvation of God
Peace God
They don’t deserve what you are saying
Surely they don’t warrant your reactions
I absolutely understand your perspective
But mirroring what we see is counterproductive
What we need is better actions
Laying proof without a shred of blaming
Mercy of God
Peace God
Let me approach you head on
I don’t need you imaging something is wrong
I embrace you because I love you
Not Every person is out to get you
We both tired of the same song
This is the beginning of a new dawn
Vengeance of God
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Love Blinded Me
Sitting here and I’m reflecting
The days and nights I was dreading
The anticipation of pain
More than that physical pain
Keeping hope where none remains
Wanting life, like I imagined it to be
Yet here I am
Longing that fantasy
Love blinded me
Recalling days of the past
Using hindsight’s glasses
What I thought I saw
Wasn’t reality at all
That jumbled confusion
My pain, my illusion
it’s like waking up
Not Knowing who you are
It’s like the blindfold is gone
Not knowing how this will work
Have to admit my uncertainty
Seeing you for the first time
Love blinded me
Those future plans
Was never gonna come true
Made with someone I never knew
Elaborate strategies, strange feelings
Our relationship never grew
Now I see, too late to see
This sea of misery
So I persevere through excuses
Continue to rationalize nothingness
Paralyzed by embarrassment
Not willing to accept my own role
In this misguided fantasy
Instead of accepting it
I blame love instead
Love blinded me
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Childhood Ways
Cannot explain this hole in me
I open up the old albums for 1983
The smile looked real and sincere
But I do not ever remember
that feeling being there
It was just me and her for the longest
You stepped on the scene
Knew straight away
You were the strongest
I thought life was real
When ya’ll got married
And I got your last name
First party I remembered
At the Cornucopia
Everyone so thrilled
Dancing endlessly
Staying with family
As ya’ll drove away
Remember running up the steps
Saw you laying on the floor
I was scared to death
Crazy part is, I was up to no good
Use to still your coins
Just rebelling because I could
Thought you were gone
Ambulance arrived
You kept saying you were fine
Everything suddenly collapsed in me
Read this letter
About how much you loved me
And how what is happening
Wasn’t about me
Just something that couldn’t be resolved
Those words they stung me
Wasn’t even a year since the ceremony
Really thought you adopted me
Couldn’t accept that you never left
Even got a house in walking distance
Still bear your last name
But it’s not the same
Trying to explain to the seeds
My father is not their grandfather
You are not my father
Their grandfather is not my father
And they looking at me like I’m insane
Promised God at that point
Before I was even two digits around the sun
I would never give that feeling to my son
It created this burden in me
Breaking through stereotypical curses
So many unresolved emotions
So embedded In my psyche
Just to release it
creates thousands verses
And I cannot to this day
Say I am healed from any of it
More like build up resilience
To all kinds of bullshit
Temper stays short and lit
Portray a light hearted laugh
Keep people real relax
But the gritted vengeance
Already considered how to end this
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Frequency
All it takes is a second
And were disconnected
That energy just stops
Everything on mute
First I thought it was me
What happened to that frequency?
Tryna not be affected
Just know we’re disconnected
Looking at you like a shell
Physically you are there
Mentally just cannot see
Did we lose that frequency?
Looking in the mirror
Trying to find the change in me
Something I’m missing
Stuck in this misery
Lost in shear futility
I cannot feel our frequency.
Pronounced as radar
Sunshine or stormy weather
Always reconcile with each other
Discontent planted in fertile hearts
Nothing left but the agony
Missing our frequency.
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She Is My Sister
She is my sister
If you could only comprehend
Wait give me a minute, help you understand
Bond strong enough to pull dreams through atmospheres
Wait, listen here,
I’m saying bond guaranteed like death is to life
I’m saying I can depend on my kids life
Without strife
She’s my sister.
She is my sister
Don’t think this on some sensitive thing
You do her wrong, have your family in the church doing that old negro spiritual song
She call, On the first ring I’m answering
She text, I respond instantaneously
There is no hesitation no wavering
She speaks to me on that maturity thing
A constant reminder to maintain that responsibility thing
She’s on the “alright now…”
like abracadabra my whole disposition change
She’s my sister
She is my sister
Can’t tell you, since she moved from philly,
How much I miss her
Only the speed of sound away,
But there’s something to having your sister that speed of light away
Now we bond through exercising, she running, I’m cycling.
Quick likes to know we still persevering
Now we speak through stanza and prose
She the only one that can inspire me on that deeper lyric.
She is my sister.
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Love Is a Verb
Love is a verb
An action word
It don’t gotta be physical
For it to be real
If I could
Wash away every memory
All that pain you feel
Wishing I was wizard
Just cast a spell
Speak something new
Into this existence
Just so you knew
This love is persistent
Love is a verb
An action word
It don’t gotta be about intimacy
We Don’t gotta lie
Just enjoying company
Feeding this desire
But we connected
Constantly building
Feeling your words
Inspires me
Just from being in your proximity
Just invigorates me
Energized by your energy
Love is a verb
An action word
So I read every word
Digest it instantly
Transcribe it
Do anything respectfully
Encouraging you
Believing in you
Admiring your smile
Even with the things
You are trying to achieve
If I could write you a letter
It would start I love you
Love is a verb
An action word
Sending you emojis
Reminding you
As simply as possible
You are not alone
Tell me whatever
Lips stay sealed
Listening to everything
Whatever it is
That you need to say
And even if you can’t say it
Let that silence lead the way
Love is a verb
An action word
Seeing the future
Already seen it hundreds of times
Even still when it materializes
I’m the first in line
Just the pride I’ll have
That smile you’ll have
Sitting in that TV studio
Endlessly promoting things
Seeing the best in you
On Display
Loving You
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These Songs
Listen
No I feel them
Can remember them
More than anything I’ve ever seen
Hear this thing in my dreams
Somehow speak for me
In some way they feel me
These songs
It’s on or off
They muse me
Even bring me from my own despair
Remind me that I am the creator
Creating this thought I’m holding on to
Creating this feeling about you
Creating this pain when I’m around you
Powerful harmony
These songs
The original high
Powerful enough to lead soldiers to die
Soothing enough ease a baby’s cry
Proportionally voices increase strength
Harmoniously instruments increase potency
But that lone sound,
that touches me
Wake from death
Create new life
These songs
Classically
I get jazzed up
Silently the blues comfort me
The rhythm & blues can’t Pop me
But The rhythm & poetry rock me
Only feel one country
But that feeling of the religious and folk
It somehow was electronic
Whether vocal or instrumental
these songs.
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Can You Love?
Can you love the same song
Even if you heard it
A million times
Could you hear it a million more
Could you still smile
At the best part
Could feel it in your heart
Can you love without end
Every memory with a meaning
Holding it tightly
In the midst of the everything
Knowing in the end
Love will always win
From start to finish and over again
Can you love in the darkest of night
Alone on a lonely night
Far from a warm embrace
Nowhere near love
Nothing in its place
Heaviest of hearts
Desperate of hope
Can you love every day
Regardless of reality
Can you believe in this fantasy
Holding onto every possibility
Can you see every potential
Will you grant every opportunity
For me to love continually
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You Left Me Dad
YOU LEFT ME DAD.
As an toddler you never gave me a chance to say Da-Da, but I said Ma-Ma.
You never were there when I fell to tell me that I don’t need to cry, but mom was.
I realize man is opposite woman, but is mother the opposite of father?
Everything mom does, dad does not?
Every day my mom was there to give love, my dad was not.
WHERE WERE YOU………..?
Now I am a man, a father.
I’m making money and you’re not.
Now you need me, but I no longer need you.
You lost your life and mine has just began.
You are now asking for my love.
My reply is “No”.
I’m the bastard, but you’re going to be treated like one.
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This Talisman
Speak the words
Like you know me
Remind me of who I am
Especially those solemn days
That anticipation of death
That keeps me lonely
Allow me to let go of everything
Except this Talisman
Recite it clearly
The words that are etched in
Their intent pure of innate ability
Suggesting momentarily
I am more than what I am feeling
I sigh in the deepest relief
Although I can recite the words
I am not whole without this Talisman
Meditating abruptly
Arms no longer reaching to the heavens
Strength lacking in every breath
Everyone amplifying you are now in heaven
Yet I’m left here wondering
Under the sounds of the thundering
Rain hiding my emotion
Losing faith in this Talisman
Listening to sounds never uttered
You are just stories
Past down to me hereditarily
And I am meant to believe fully
I dare not question not a single belief
Enduring every mental illness while you forever sleep
Praying for an eternity
Through this Talisman
Hearing moments of peace
Everyone else down on their knees
Reading the same words
That I am meant to believe
As if each word would restore you
As if words would resuscitate you
Contemplating living without you
Laying this Talisman next to you
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What’s Left of Me?
Disappointed in resentment
Unforeseen fulfillment
Understanding the resilience
Unequivocally connected to resistance
Progressing through darkness
Trudging past the loneliness
Creeping around uncertainty
What’s left of me?
Envisioning upward awakenings
Aggravated into unfamiliar feelings
Resurrection of derivative viewings
Starting to think something new
Initiating a different point of view
Second guessing it’s you
Unraveling this mystery
What’s left of me?
Invoking this opening scene
Believing in the unknown things
Prayerfully accepting the unseen
Earth shaking the life outta me
Waves changing how I breathe
Thrust of windfall controlling my fall
Appreciation for something I can see
What’s left for me?
Sun shinning 360
World spinning feverishly
If I could get off
Where would I be
Fear got a hold of me
Devastated remembering the past
Shattered in how long it’ll last
Lost in life definitely
What’s left for me?
-
Spoke Life Into Me
Everyday is not a blessing
Waking up to unwanted emotions
Seeing the darkness in the bluest sky
Holding onto this image of peace
Even things not within my control
Still allowed to weigh on me
Self reflecting into a solemn belief
I must press on
Because ya’ll spoke life into me
Everyday I see a new flaw
Am I supposed to fix everything I see
And if I keep giving others everything
When I settle down for the night
I realize I have not a single thing
Just the opportunity to do it all again
Asking for strength in every stead
But I must press on into destiny
Because ya’ll spoke life into me
Everyday does not solicit joy
Viewing the world differently
Noticing the sacrifices of everyone individually
Yet no one wants to work collectively
Then there are moments of elation
When a group of individuals come together
Set out on one mission
Inadvertently seizing another opportunity
Because ya’ll spoke life into me
Everyday has success and disaster
It’s nothing serious
Just the existence of human existence
Some days those days weigh heavier than most
The challenge of challenging circumstances
Faced with things I didn’t even sign up for
There is not subtle way to say this
Every single word, was an irreplaceable gift
Because y’all spoke life into me
-
When Pens Speak
I lost you
I mean I lost me
What I am trying to say
Is there are times
When I can barely speak
When the world is yelling
There are people demanding
My only respite
When Pens Speak
When Pens Speak
No thought is hidden
Emptying my mind
Every drop of ink sublime
Even when I artificial create beauty
And I am left typing
Every word holding onto me
Loosen me to be at peace
It’s like I lose track of time
Because there is something I cannot describe
But if you let me just try
I am holding this plastic cylinder
Just one thumb pressing down
And I am immediately transcended
And now I am trying to articulate words
Some that I barely know
But it helps with the flow
When Pens Speak
When Pens Speak
Its always an easy evening
Even if I am out of every bit of energy
The alarm doesn’t need to call upon me
It is that law of attraction that brings me in
I know my pen is not enough
I become a fiend for that energy
To hear those words that can only be spoken
Reading it would not do it justice
When Pens Speak
-
Me
Deleted every picture
All those text messages
Not a single post is left
Every single sign of evidence
Got rid of it all
Final phone call
The way it’s meant to be
Nothing else in this for me.
Don’t want no proof of this
Nothing else will exist
The future now written
Every lesson forgotten
Slowly came to realize
Better off in disguise
Life is full of deceit
You showed them all to me
Letting it go
Like it never happened
Slowly consumed
Just what I imagined
Creating a fake world
I need to get through this
Have to get through this
Cause there’s nothing left for me
Gave you everything that I had
Every single tear I had left
Walking away happy
Cause I gave all I had left
Time for something new
Relaxing calm of a new day
Proportionality spending time on me
All I have left is me
-
Pieces Of Me
Feeling like
I’ve been pulled together
Randomly
The father and mother are clear
But he was never here
Now I think back unraveling
Each layer of me that I see
Seeing every man
That somehow made
An impression on me
Learned love at a very early age
Remembering those hugs
You loved me like I
Never made a single mistake
For whatever reason
You only came around on holidays
Only found out your hidden identity
When AIDS took you away
Learned how to manifest anger
It was routinely on display
Cannot remember my age
But I knew it was in second grade
It reminds me
Of one of those superhero characters
You won’t like me when I’m angry
Because in hindsight
I cannot fathom what
A classroom of 2nd graders
Could ever do
To make you break a chalkboard
But I learned to hold shit in
And when my seeds messed up
I let it explode again and again
Learned how to ride or die
Nothing special
It was just the look in your eyes
Revenge is a bitter pill
Sometimes you get so deep in it
There’s no way out of it
That’s why you need
To have heat with you
Because badge or not
No one wants to get shot
Always stay ready
With a plan to enter
A plan to escape
But if you get stuck
Shut the fuck up
Let the lawyer plead your case
Learned how to just cut ties
Give it your all
Until you bust
Then walk away
With no hesitancy
Nothing means everything
Even though I was your seed
The gravity of you leaving
Helped me leave everything
Learned a lot of things randomly
Watching life’s sermons
While people speaking eloquently
Seeing every addiction
Removed every narcotic curiosity
Regardless of the need to escape
When that high wore off
There is nowhere left to escape
And the reality of who you are
That is all that’s left
Accepting who you really are
Until your final last breath
Learned by watching more than hearing
Seeing you fix things
Instead of using yellow pages
Seeing the logic
Was no internet on site
Laying tiles without a single mistake
Hanging Sheetrock with one hand
Hammer it in with the other hand
Realizing desire more important
Than impossibility
When you want something done
Waiting on someone ain’t always
In your reach
Pieced together
Feeling like those old scarecrows
Resembling something real
But in reality
Just the manifestation
Of different realities
And none of them fit together
Always challenged for them to
Work together
Even if all those influencers
Were in the same room
They wouldn’t like each other
Yet I’m perpetuating their ideals
Stuck not knowing how to feel
Unwilling to let them go
Selfishly it’s all I know
-
Power
POWER
Just surging through
That’s me
Reaching back to you
Let me calm you
I know this pain
Hate it around you
POWER
In every word you speak
Let it flow out
Smooth and honestly
The truth was born in you
When I see you
I know it’s true
POWER
Believe in it
This emotion
Just accept it
Let go of every worry
Faithfully
Just feel me
POWER
It lives in you
Please let it out
Let it shine through
Let me be there
Sitting right with you
I love you
Sy Bryant 