Sy Bryant

Tag: Poem

  • Grief

    Grief

    Midst of the grief

    Fighting the belief

    Everything has its place

    So must this pain

    In my face

    Pulling at me

    With every single breath

    Waking with tears

    My own dreams

    Perpetuating fears

    Deep into grief

    Asking questions rhetorically

    Only God can answer me

    Knees bend in pain

    Screaming to remain sane

    Replaying each scene

    Was it meant to be me

    Not accepting this destiny

    Fire keeps growing in me

    Afraid to sleep

    Alone in this grief

    Every grief opening

    Every single time

    I felt this pain

    Appreciating lessons

    Some told remain old

    Expecting something different

    Hard to bear this

    Praying for something

    Not even sure what yet

    Buried in grief

    Flowing through me

    Essence of everything

    Innocence was fleeting

    Unable to protect me

    Envied each day dream

    Thinking I’d be free

    I changed locations

    Escaped reality

    But it never left me

  • I Know That

    I Know That

    I know that I know you

    This cannot be the first time

    Like our souls, our souls

    They’ve always been intertwined

    Your presence creates euphoria

    And I need more of ya

    Whatever happened last lifetime

    Has nothing to do with this time

    And now that I found you again

    You will always be mine.

    I know that I know you

    There is nothing strange between us

    So we can talk like there’s no space between us

    As we reflecting on each other’s energy

    All around us nothing but envy

    And they wondering

    How long we known each other

    How long we been together

    But we are beyond the concept of time

    Our mental interwoven as if we are time

    I know that I know you

    Close your eyes so your soul can see mine

    So we can communicate on a different realm

    Please don’t feel overwhelmed

    It’s just that cosmic energy

    That euphoric energy

    That constantly magnetizes my soul to yours

    If nothing else please believe I am yours

    And only collectively can we achieve serenity

    Ignoring everything that dissipates our energy

    I know that I know you

    Generationally negativity pulls us apart

    Everlastingly our love restarts

    And somehow I am drawn to you

    Even if I never know your name

    I know that I know you

    And I can feed off your every thought

    Randomly conceiving of weird innuendos

    And I’m all in cause I had the same thought

    No matter what, keeping everything about you

  • If Only….

    If Only….

    If only we were strong enough

    As a collective

    Not to view professional sports

    As the golden ticket

    To somehow believe

    We are more than our physicality

    We could literally create

    More than we have already invented

    We could absolutely lead

    Further than we ever have managed

    If only we saw the Negro League

    As a point of strength

    Not a means to an end

    Although we were winning

    We claimed it as a failure

    As those that are unlike us

    Didn’t accept our win

    And I just don’t know when

    When we will see ourselves

    As the victories that we are

    Surpassing mediocrity

    Elevating from slavery

    Yet, are we free?

    If only we could see the beauty

    Seeing females as if they are princesses and queens

    Seeing men as if they are princes and kings

    Creating a new narrative

    Where celebrating the first

    To do something

    In someone else’s culture

    Is no longer seen as a monumental thing

    Where our boundaries and breakthroughs

    Are only self defined

    Where I don’t need to prove shit to no one

    That could care less about me

    And I don’t need to trumpet

    That I am as good as someone else

    I can literally just be myself

    If only we could plant new seeds

    Nurtured with a new energy

    No longer naming this new being

    Based on old things

    If slavery was such a bad thing

    Why do we hold onto to any of it?

    The names, the celebrations

    Or even the religions

    That were only allowed

    To ensure we remained a human plow

    It wasn’t the relinquishing

    Of prison gates that granted freedom

    We were simply told we were allowed to go

    Up until that point we mentally

    Weren’t allowed to go

    And still to this day

    That very minimal energy

    Never balanced the scales

    So it’s surprising me

    When people say they are free

    If only we knew the cost of freedom

    Do we give our life?

    So that the next life will be free

    Do we sacrifice our culture?

    Creating it into an economy

    So that the next generation

    Will have less pressure to fit in

    Do we call out the ignorance?

    And beg for people

    To look at us different

    Do we take up arms?

    And beg for people

    To treat us different

    Do we realize

    That we aren’t even the root of the issue

    Do we continue to ignore

    The issues rooted in the formation of this place

    It is not anything we can do or not do

    There is this every present belief

    That the revolt that never happened

    Against those of European descent

    Will one day happen

    Against those of European descent

    I have to just tell you

    No one wants it to happen

    Except those of European descent

    If only everyone loved unconditionally…

  • Can I Get To Know You?

    Can I Get To Know You?

    Can I get to know ya

    Wanna know what’s real with ya

    Cause it has to be something

    That I’m missin with ya

    Its like every once in a while

    Everything calms down

    Like I’m in the eye of the storm

    And I asking myself what’s wrong

    What is going on in this place

    Never seen such a calm space

    Can I get to know ya

    Can I get to know ya

    Cause Its obvious I don’t know ya

    I know I been in your presence

    Cannot even count the times

    But you got my face wound up

    Should I be shocked or surprised

    My pessimism cannot appreciate this

    Optimistically I’ve been waiting for this

    Looking skeptically, not sure what to do

    Should I sit directly next to you

    Can I get to know ya

    Can I get to know ya

    I must need a refresher course

    Cause when I see ya

    I don’t know the course

    Is it rough and rigid

    Memorized your digits

    Bewildered by this change

    When someone asked

    I didn’t even know my own name

    If I had one wish in this world

    Can I get to know ya

    Can I get to know ya

    Need to avoid those sore spots

    When you making dinner

    I’m cleaning the pots

    If you sweep

    Then I’ll vacuum

    Taking the trash out

    You ain’t got to ask me

    Filling every void that I can

    I’ll show you all that I am

    Can I get to know ya

  • Happy Anniversary

    Happy Anniversary

    Dear Sweetie

    Dear Sweetie,

    You don’t know me

    I been here, going through

    The motions, the fears, the tears

    It’s all I could manage,

    Sitting here

    Waiting for you

    Dear Sweetie

    In my mind

    You are obviously

    The right choice,

    Subtle and powerful choice

    Constantly I improve day by day

    Knowing you’ll come my way

    Dear Sweetie

    Dreams come true

    Circumstances create opportunity

    Now I’m bumping into you,

    Cannot ever let it go

    Dear Sweetie.

    Stuck in My Heart

    Sitting in the dark

    Watching that little light burn

    Power out

    From that powerful storm

    Exhausted

    From the early start

    But I got you stuck in my heart

    Wind howls

    Sounding like knocks on the door

    Feeling the emptiness of you leaving to my core

    Powerless

    Too little too late

    You had to depart

    But I got you stuck in my heart

    Wishing softly

    Mind clear as the morning bright

    Wanting to love you in this still night

    Don’t know where you are

    Where is my sweetheart

    But I got you stuck in my heart

    Silent stillness

    Surrounding everything about me

    Wishing for a moonlit beach

    Feels so right to me

    Longing for that perfect moment

    Missing that beautiful art

    But I got you stuck in my heart

    Right to My Heart

    Every time I think

    We drifting apart

    You say something to me

    Like you speaking

    Right to my heart

    And In a matter of minutes

    Its like we have a fresh start

    And this smile

    Will last for a while

    Been so long since we talked

    I know we don’t need to talk

    To stay as close as we stay

    It’s a special bond

    In a special way

    And each in every way

    I’m never good

    Until I know you’re ok

    I mean

    I need to know

    How you feeling

    Cause ain’t nothing

    More revealing

    Every time I think

    We drifting apart

    You say something to me

    Like you speaking

    Right to my heart

    And In a matter of minutes

    Its like we have a fresh start

    And this smile

    Will last for a while

    Sitting here just thinking

    Everything you say

    Means so much to me

    Because it always

    Has a deeper meaning

    So I slowly

    Receive every word

    I’d be nothing without you

    Why did I ever even think

    I could ever be without you

    And I never will try again

    Loving you, only way to win

    Every time I think

    We drifting apart

    You say something to me

    Like you speaking

    Right to my heart

    And In a matter of minutes

    Its like we have a fresh start

    And this smile

    Will last for a while

    There is no more

    I can even say

    I love you

    About Us

    The best part about us

    Is the constant us

    Never have I

    Felt anything like this

    When a new day

    Feels like a first kiss

    The constant

    The resurgence of love

    When something happens

    And I fall in love again

    Loving my best friend

    The best part of us

    We are not the same

    Will never answer questions equally

    Do not finish each other’s sentences

    Yet we know each other unequivocally

    This is on everything

    Loving you unconditionally

    Something innate within

    Through every joy

    Through every sin

    Holding you infinitely

    The best part about us

    The commitment shared

    Latching tightly

    The vow promised

    Just oft pristine beach

    Our essential foundation

    Within reach

    Smiling proudly

    Bonding through it all

    Remembering each moment

    Remembering the love

    The best part about us

    After the prayer is done

    Witnessing Gods grace

    Strengthening us

    Helping us

    Maintaining us

    Through the every moment

    In those random moments

    Doing the simplest of things

    Even if we are just being

    Stay having this love thing

  • Subtle Breeze

    Subtle Breeze

    Staring into this subtle breeze

    Continuous cloud blocking the burning sun

    Endless sand finally touching my homeland

    Left to wonder, and understand this new summer

    This new summer showing me the past

    Encapsulating every bias I have

    Serenity can only be leased

    Why must I have this break in peace?

    This break in peace

    Pounds a deafening frequency

    Wanting to believe in something

    Not destined for me

    For me the world is too much

    Staggered in analysis causing paralysis

    Yet I will claim

    It’s all in Christ’s name

    In Christ’s name I pray

    If I were a strong as he

    Then I would know what this life really means

    Selfishly believing in a feeling I’ll never know

    I’ll never know what it means

    To sacrifice your own life

    For someone you don’t even know

    Somehow finding an existence in everything I hold dear

    Everything I hold dear

    Held in the chasm of my mind

    Holding every doubt with ease

    Staring into the subtle breeze

  • Democracy

    Democracy

    Within its thrills of DEMOCRACY

    I think I see more than what

    I’m supposed to see

    Things are fair and just

    Because that’s what you’re meant to see

    But in the midst of the struggle

    Poor will fight poor

    To maintain the wealthy

    The wealthy elite

    That’s who the stars represent

    The stripes for everyone else’s

    Pain and punishment

    It’s gotten so irate

    That the Lords and the Saxons

    Argue about unending debates

    Gross neglect is DEMOCRACY’S fate

    You just have to stop and think

    What’s the purpose of this DEMOCRACY

    For all the times that it existed

    Mass murders were a common existence

    King’s fought side by side with their armies

    No one was above peace and harmony

    Then realization manifested into reality

    An elitist dying from war would never be reality

    War has always existed

    It is a animalistic condition

    To have everything you can possible hold

    No one wants to really share

    Until they are past tense and old

    So we continue propagating this myth

    That we are free

    And it’s due to DEMOCRACY

  • Lost So Much

    Lost So Much

    Lost so much, but still have everything

    Only possible loses are material things

    Remember seeing people transition

    The mystery is revealed in everything

    King Bryant proclaimed with thunderous sound

    As long as you say my name I live.

    So now I say it everyday

    Accepting he is still with me

    Recognizing I was mourning

    Future memories I didn’t even see

    Lost so much, but still have everything

    Only possible loses are material things

    Growing up with that key round neck

    That shit wasn’t easy for me

    Big as I was, not even two digits yet

    Walking past all kinds of mess

    Nothing to do at home but create fantasy

    Realized I wasn’t lonely, just was being me

    But I damn sure guaranteed

    My seed wouldn’t go that way

    Lost so much, but still have everything

    Only possible loses are material things

    Grew up with so much

    I was giving it away

    Thinking these little trinkets were in the way

    There was a whole world to see

    But I was so busy enjoying being me

    Meeting social expectations

    I ventured out, found out what the world was about

    Saw I wasn’t missing a thing, but me

    Lost so much, but still have everything

    Only possible loses are material things

    seeing pain from different points of view

    From nicotine, from alcohol, sex, narcotics

    From fixing cars, fixing the yard, painting new paint

    People doing anything to avoid what life brings

    I saw a bunch of people out in this world

    Trying to find that solitude that I released

    Laughing at the the psychology of my disbelief

    We are all missing the opportunity to be me

  • Prayer Was Revealed

    Prayer Was Revealed

    Maybe if you understood where I’m coming from

    You’d understand what I’m talking about

    Every prayer I prayed was revealed

    From little things

    Material things

    Even women

    And shiny things

    Every single prayer

    Didn’t matter how rare

    Maybe if you understood where I’m coming from

    You’d understand what I’m talking about

    Praying is a powerful commitment

    Aligning your frequency

    To your uppermost limit

    Self proclaimed gurus

    Claim to have figured it out

    But it ain’t none of that

    It’s just what God is about

    Maybe if you understood where I’m coming from

    You’d understand what I’m talking about

    No matter what I prayed

    I got more than what I asked for

    Whenever I prayed for a dollar

    There was more than a federal tax

    Because after paper start coming

    You can never relax

    More and more is all you can pray for

    Maybe if you understood where I’m coming from

    You’d understand what I’m talking about

    Then through some act of destiny

    I accepted what prayer is meant to be

    It isn’t for any specific thing

    But showing gratitude for everything

    Permitting your mind to let go of this earth

    Align with Gods will and all its worth

    All the prayer you need is to appreciate what God needs.

  • The Future

    The Future

    I can see into the future

    There are no mics to drop

    Nothing spectacular to convey

    The first lesson you shall learn

    You will not see everyday

    I can see into the future

    Disasters are really triumphs

    They bring life out of death

    Emphasizing what is left

    Yet we only see the theft

    I can see into the future

    The earth spinning on its axis

    Multitude avoiding taxes

    Ignoring the humanity of community

    While wondering, is it me?

    I can see into the future

    The dawn of each day

    With every setting sun

    Someone leaves this place

    Before their work has begun

    I can see into the future

    Dare not share this thought

    Freedom is not free

    Created from destruction

    Ignored in selfish possibility

    I can see into the future

    The caste is set in stone

    Reminisce of illegitimate wealth

    Creating limitations

    That only apply to someone else

    I can see into the future

    The image of Heaven stands

    The North Star of every land

    Keeping mischievous beings in check

    Preventing the evolution of what’s next

  • I don’t know what to do

    I don’t know what to do

    I don’t know what to do

    Everything was happening

    And the happenings

    That just kept happening

    And no one knew what to do

    They thought isolation

    Would somehow help us

    And now I’m left wondering

    Because you are not here

    Instead of staying away

    Thinking I was keeping you safe

    Should I have stayed closer

    To keep you safe

    Now there is nothing left

    Just those memories

    cherishing every moment

    That we had

    Trying my hardest

    Yet I’m still sad.

    I don’t know what to do

    It all happened so fast

    We just spoke last week

    You were a little tired

    But you could still speak

    Then calls were unanswered

    There were no more social media post

    It felt like the world went silent

    Calling around to everyone

    Yet no one heard from you

    The nurse said it wasn’t going well

    There was this eery feeling

    Wondering without information

    Stuck second guessing

    Each piece of sporadic information

    The ventilator was working well

    That’s what we were told

    Nothing to worry about

    Everything would be O.K.

    You weren’t that old

    I don’t know what to do

    The hospital called

    We still cannot see you

    Not even to say our final goodbye

    I pray to God that this isn’t true

    What prayer do I need to pray

    What else can I possibly do

    There is so much life left

    Cannot fathom it’ll be without you

    I’m lost in this moment

    Begging for another moment

    Heart levied with anguish

    Not knowing what to do next

    Everyone is calling everyone else

    How do we move forward

    Recognizing there will be no closure

    The tears flowed swiftly

    Lost every sense of composer

    When they finally told me

    Your life was over

    I don’t know what to do

    Standing here in the open air

    Finding comfort in memories

    Sharing tears openly

    Writing your name clearly

    Speaking your name loudly

    Celebrating every day

    As if you are still here with me

    Closing my eyes

    Just for a moment of peace

    Forever more

    I will eternally say your name

    Smiling momentarily

    Believing holistically

    There is life after this world

    We will be reunited eventually

    Holding each day from now til then

    Burying your earthly shell

    Hoping that somehow

    You will live through me

  • Happy Birthday Wifey

    Happy Birthday Wifey

    Love you Dearly

    Screaming your name,

    Can you hear me?

    Right in front of your face,

    Can you see me?

    Have to do something,

    And do it quickly

    Hope you feel me, 

    Cause I love you dearly

    Every time I see you

    Feels like the first time

    Anxiety, excitement, every time

    Looking into your brown eyes

    Captivated by your intelligence

    Talking about our kids

    Like we got so many

    Loving the stories

    There are so many

    The sacrificing parents that we are

    Screaming your name,

    Can you hear me?

    Right in front of your face,

    Can you see me?

    Have to do something,

    And do it quickly

    Hope you feel me, 

    Cause I love you dearly

    No day is promised

    So putting it on the line

    I want to be all you need, all the time

    I love you unconditionally

    Don’t care where you been

    Making myself your best friend

    Shoulder to cry on, to lean on too

    The world is just purer with me and you

    Loving each day because I see you

    Intentionally making memories of you

    What do you need?

    What can I provide?

    Being yours is my pride

    Screaming your name,

    Can you hear me?

    Right in front of your face,

    Can you see me?

    Have to do something,

    And do it quickly

    Hope you feel me, 

    Cause I love you dearly

    Ride Wit You

    Today was one of those days

    When I realized I how I felt

    Being there at this phase

    Seeing your face, heartfelt

    Up till this point it’s been a maze

    Managing what was being dealt

    But today just got to ride wit you

    I’m seeing every point of view

    Thinking about all you been through

    Looking to shaded eyes in the rear view

    Realizing I didn’t have a clue

    Wondering how to get a better view

    At some point today our Love grew

    And I was happy just to ride wit you

    Awkwardly feeling, I’m catching feelings

    Together, friendship tough as leather

     Some days I’m loving you to the ceiling

    It’s those little attributes, touch of a feather

    Reliving all of our dealings

    Faith to endure all sort of weather

    Still here to ride wit you.

    The ending day, the worst part

    Knowing, I don’t know, when I’ll ride with you

    And when I’m near you I can feel my heart

    Eyes closed wishing, whispering I love you

    Wondering the difference if life had a restart

    Sacrificing everything just from a text from you

    I’m down to ride wit you

    Excited For You

    There is no feeling greater

    Being in your corner

    Whether the day is sunny

    Or the weather is devastating

    Something special in this

    Just trying to be there for you

    If you need it, listening to you

    During the storm, shelter for you

    Anything I can do

    Cause I’m excited for you

    You telling me your dreams

    I see them as reality

    You sharing your thoughts

    I already got you everything

    You low on energy

    I’m picking you up for the get up

    You feeling anxious

    I’m loving you with patience

    You just relaxing

    I’m out of your way

    Baby enjoy your day

    Excited for you

    Just to be there

    Seeing your success

    Whatever you need

    I got you

    Excited for you

    Sitting here waiting for you

    It’s one of those interviews

    Dress to the Ts, shoes too

    Gliding down the steps

    It’s pure elegance

    Cautiously optimistic

    I believing you are ballistic

    Everything prepared

    Dressed for success

    Nothing left

    But to master this day.

    The day is done

    And I’m smiling brightly

    Do you know

    How proud you made me

    Life giving you

    The insurmountable

    With all that God has giving you

    You are more than able

    Life flashing through

    Day by day

    Pushing each other along the way

    Living vicariously through you

    I’m So proud of the things you do

    Living, loving, dreaming about you

    I’m so excited for you.

    Excited for you

    Just to be there

    Seeing your success

    Whatever you need

    I got you

    Excited for you

  • Final Time To Say Farewell

    Final Time To Say Farewell

    Final time to say farewell

    Now I’m supposed to pretend

    That all is well

    Remembering that exact building

    Been there a few times

    Never once for a reason

    That didn’t leave a tear inside

    Final time to say farewell

    Now I’m supposed to believe

    You are in this heavenly place

    And I’ll never see you again

    Until I meet my own fate

    But I’ve done so many wrong things

    It’s just too late

    Final time to say farewell

    Recognizing you cannot see me

    There’s no breath left

    Ignoring the depths of eternity

    Knowing you cannot feel me

    Praying you knew

    Everything you are to me

    Final time to say farewell

    As if you won’t forever exist

    I swear to you

    I will always remember you

    Something this world will never take away

    Digesting your words

    Just seeing your face

    Final time to say farewell

    Wishing I said what needed to be said

    Hoping life won’t end where you lay

    Believing tomorrow brings a new day

    Wanting to know you can REST

    Needing something to believe IN

    Praying for your eternal PEACE

  • That Poetry

    That Poetry

    I am not a poet

    I am a lover

    Everything about anything

    It is all about love for me

    Instantaneously

    I will release it

    Given it away freely

    As if

    We spent every day freely

    As if

    Nothing else existed

    Besides your voice

    That poetry

    I am not real

    I am imagined

    Something about everything

    Love evolves within me

    Spontaneously

    You are always there

    Remember the summer scene

    As if

    Every car ride was serene

    As if

    We were an eternity

    Feeling your voice

    That poetry

    I am not that

    I am a belief

    Holding onto anatomical dreams

    Using future titles to speak life

    Sporadically

    I am my worse enemy

    Created obstacles

    As if

    I couldn’t handle the certainty

    As if

    Destiny was avoidable

    Hearing that love

    That poetry

  • Trying to Write it Out

    Trying to Write it Out

    If I could write out everything,

    Maybe it would be something new to sing.  

    The stories of the past weigh on me.

    Never found anyone to share with me. 

    Everyone wants me to solve their problems,

    But what do I do about my problems.

    Trying to write it out. 

    The pain. 

    Lost dreams. 

    Unfulfilled hope. 

    Small things. 

    Embarrassed for you to know,

    Everything I do is not in control. 

    A lot of gut reactions,

    Just so happens to turn out right for someone else. 

    But for me, the gut reactions don’t work. 

    Just endure day to day.  

    Trying to write it out. 

    The pain. 

    Lost dreams. 

    Unfulfilled hope. 

    Small things. 

    Never had a good day in my life. 

    Moments of smiles since I was a child. 

    People promising fake beliefs,

    The disappointment turned me really mean. 

    Now I cannot believe what people say. 

    People just say shit to get you out the way. 

    Trying to write it out. 

    The pain. 

    Lost dreams. 

    Unfulfilled hope. 

    Small things. 

    Cannot spend my whole life in complaints. 

    So I just keep the train moving,

    Pretending day to day.

    Making people believe everything is O.K..

    Then I noticed ,

    People just accept what they want to believe.

    And what’s really going on will remain unseen.

    Trying to write it out. 

    The pain. 

    Lost dreams. 

    Unfulfilled hope. 

    Small things. 

  • Good Morning

    Good Morning

    Saying good morning

    Each and every morning

    So you know

    So you can feel

    This love is surreal

    When I wake up

    You’re on my mind

    Every single morning

    That first thought

    Is of you

    Even in the middle of the day

    Still feels like a good morning in a way

    There is something new

    This thing is refreshing

    Thoughts of us reminiscing

    Things we did

    Love we shared

    It’s everlasting experience love

    Year after year

    Sun is setting

    Umbrella protecting us from the sun

    Relaxing in summers warmth

    That good morning feeling

    Energy fueling me

    What else could it be

    Willingly accepting destiny

    Something about this

    I never want to miss

    Nights sweet calm

    Holding onto my arm

    You are leaning so gently

    That unique feeling sneaks in

    It’s a good morning again

    And I’m looking for that sense

    Trying my best to find that pleasure

    Everyday I’m learning

    Loving you into the next good morning.

  • Just Writing

    Just Writing

    Just Writing

    Putting words down

    Nothing else works

    Only way to get these words out

    Let these feelings feel the air

    Get these feelings out of my nonexistent hair

    Getting word indigestion

    Pepto Bismal ain’t working

    Gotta make these words start working

    If I keep them in any longer

    Festering may make them stronger

    Then my outward action

    Would reflect my inward frustration

    Just Writing

    The endless feeling of WTF in my space

    Needing peace.

    Not in these streets.

    In my soul

    Got me feeling real real old.

    Starting out I grew up spoiled

    Far from rough and rugged

    More like educationally stimulated

    I never waited for anything I wanted in life

    My attitude is Atomic for the rest of my life

    Fuck 0-100. 

    I’m at 100. 

    Stay at 100. 

    Live at 100

    Why would I ever stop this flow

    Just Writing

    Ain’t no reason to regret where I go

    Everything I do

    Everything I see

    Something new to learn

    Something more I can be

    I specifically focus on the better me

    Trying to catch that dude

    No matter where he may be

    I’m not looking

    I’m on the hunt. 

    Stalking the future me…

    Just Writing

    I’m  hungry

    I need more than what I was supposed to be

    If I had more energy my body would levitate

    Don’t need to live forever

    I need to be forever

    I meed my children’s kids’ great great Grand children

    To hear my voice at critical points in their life

    Need them to know

    I’ll never know them

    But I’ll love them with my whole life

    The pain and tragedy of my current life

    More like seeds being planted

    More like the deep darkness of the earth’s riches. 

    Just Writing

    Struggling to breathe

    But surrounded by nutrients that build me up

    Absorbing all these different things

    Just to make me appear tough

    If you think talking to me about big shit

    That will somehow make me

    Stop working on my own shit

    You couldn’t influence me with trillions in riches

    I’m not him.

    The soul I have is not for sale 

    You can’t burn me with them bum bitches.

    I’m only loyal to what I know is real.

    Just Writing

    Either you here for me. 

    Or you not. 

    Ain’t no in-between. 

    Ain’t no. 

    Maybe later. 

    Ain’t nothing else besides we rocking till the last breath.

    If those ain’t your words.

    I don’t fuck with you.

    Just Writing 

    Nothing new going on in my head. 

    Just getting out this old shit

    Can’t take it with me when I’m dead.  

    There is something for real

    About that glass being half full. 

    You can only get about one half more

    Before you are really full. 

    So I’m going for empty

    Dumping it all out

    On steps and i’m a slinky. 

    Dumping it all out

    Whether you are with me

    And even if you are against me

    All this potential energy

    It stays fucking up my  synergy

    So today converting it kinetically

    Into something that has longevity.

    Talking but I ain’t talking about shit. 

    Just purging out last year so this year will fit.

    Just Writing

    I’m on some delete all that bullshit.

    SELECT * and deleted that shit. 

    That recycle bin just wants me

    To keep hold of the old me

    Trying to convince me

    That the old can become new 

    But I’m telling you

    What matters can be destroyed

    And something new is created

    Every single time I make some noise

    A new opportunity can materialize

    But I don’t get hypnotized. 

    It’s just one of the many things that I do really really well. 

    If you cannot tell I can even write well.  

    Just Writing

    Wake up wondering

    Wondering around waiting

    Looking in the past with my hourglass

    Counting each drop of sand in my hand

    Remembering each grain

    In the sand of time

    Now it’s my time

    The right time

    Creating sands of time

    No need to flip it over

    I’ve got more coming

    I make my own sand

    Even while I’m wasting

    That last bit of sand

    From the sand man.

  • I Miss You

    I Miss You

    Sun setting through the trees

    Last of the summer breeze

    Lost in the future me

    The present too much for me

    Words cannot reach you

    Not tryna to preach to you

    Just need you to know

    I miss you.

    It’s only when the wind blows

    That I truly truly know

    That subtle existence

    We cannot hesitate on this

    Feel this season as the reason

    Finally seeing reality

    Just need you to know

    I miss you.

    Closed eyes to the moon light

    Feeling the stars gaze

    Your energy moves me

    Even when I’m on empty

    End of time nearing me

    Just need you near me

    Just need you to know

    I miss you.

  • Love Never Leaves

    Love Never Leaves

    Can’t have you

    The way I want

    The way I need

    Why does it feel this way

    Feeling so deeply

    Hearing your name

    I ain’t the same

    Whenever I hear

    Your name

    Now you saying

    I’ll never again

    Hear your name

    Can’t we even talk

    After the endless dark

    Waiting patiently

    Can you feel me

    Why the distance

    Feeling your absence

    For the last time

    If you leaving

    Just leave

    You pretending

    To love me, when

    Love never leaves

  • Divine Sanity

    Divine Sanity

    Just met you

    Traveling through the universe

    Kept thinking I missed you already

    Whole life a curse

    Woke up anew

    Just felt you

    Never laid one eye on you

    Yet I know you’re there

    Patiently I wait to meet you

    Open our minds

    To new hearts

    Our new life starts

    Releasing past guilt

    Atonement for legacy’s will

    Mastering the path ahead

    Shackled discarded limbs

    Sun’s release of energy

    Past now dead

    Cold heart becoming warm

    Anticipating end of the storm

    The smile upon my face

    The acceptance of grace

    Knowing the destiny

    Divine sanity

  • Chasing

    Chasing

    Chasing, endlessly pursuing

    Wanting elusive things aloft beings

    Experiences unmet

    Energy spent wanting

    Chasing, constantly waiting

    Hoping for a different outcome

    Feelings damaged

    Faith diminished

    Chasing, patiently seeing

    Living a tumultuous fantasy

    Life wasting

    Laugh gone

    Chasing, new reality

    Looking, new paths revealed

    Patiently waiting

    Pleasing satisfaction

  • Beautiful Feeling

    Beautiful Feeling

    Beautiful feeling

    Knowing someone that knows you

    Completely open to everything you do

    Support you even if it means they ain’t with you

    Simple text just to know I’m thinking bout you

    Year after year

    We back again

    Captivating feeling.

    Beautiful feeling

    Seeing that same face

    The same way I saw you from back in the day

    Remember those daytime rendezvous

    Eventually nighttime engagements

    No matter what it was

    It was always in love

    Lovely feeling

    Beautiful feeling

    Just takes 1 text

    And smiles begin

    Through every moment in time

    Still having that same friend

    Knowing how critical they are to me

    Be that bottom jawn if need be

    Grateful feeling

  • That Piece

    That Piece

    Calling a name I don’t know

    To do some things I’ve never seen

    Going to go places I’ve never been

    Just to see your face

    Be present in your space

    That piece of serenity

    Calling this peace into existence

    Not even sure what I am missing

    Persevering through every obstacle

    The world is simple and cruel

    Masked by this innocence

    That piece of persistence

    Calling and screaming to be heard

    Fantasy controlling reality

    Nothing decent within me

    Aggressively deceitfully being me

    Subtly orchestrating inevitably

    That piece of hypocrisy

    Calling for assistance

    Realizing I cannot handle this

    Monumentally too much for me

    Devastated no one responded to me

    The realization of independence

    That piece of creative license

  • Epiphany of Pain

    Epiphany of Pain

    The Epiphany of Pain

    Imaging the first devastation

    Never imaging something so impactful

    Powerful words rattling my psyche

    Humbled by a chance opportunity

    To be the chosen few

    Nothing prepared us

    for what lay ahead

    Manhood, shining in the thunderous rain

    The Epiphany of Pain

    If we could yet awake from that dream

    Could not fathom the reality of things

    The physical challenges awaited us

    Mentally we were barely off of empty

    Linked in friendship kept our resiliency

    Rolling one after another

    Scholarship, massacred into our brain

    The Epiphany of Pain

    Illogically slowly accepting this fate

    Engulfed with idealistic thoughts

    Walking bridges others have taught

    Pursuing obstacles with a dogmatic view

    Listening to truths spoken by twisted knaves

    Realizing the crystal stair ancestors had to bare

    Perseverance, grinding to become insane

    The Epiphany of Pain

    Accepting the fallacy of all I hold dear

    There was but six standing there

    Climbing through the the darkest night

    Shoulder to shoulder, days to night

    Rebuilt in the shadow of KAOS hard ways

    Souls combined into the Kaotix 6ix

    Uplift, birthed in the hardest of ways

  • Releasing

    Releasing

    Releasing every thought

    Each perspective

    All ideas that contain

    All the limitations I have every experienced

    The thoughts that prevent progression

    The idea that is now a nightmare

    Releasing it all in the crisp cool air

    Releasing every pain

    Thorn of thoughts

    Piercing the flesh of forgiveness

    Debilitating fruits of labor

    Void of thought, is what I savor

    Enabling the strength to succeed

    That’s all I really need

    Releasing every history

    Today is a new thing

    Intentionally filling it with new dreams

    Building ideas, concepts, pure energy

    Interlocking joy with jeopardy

    Risking it all on everything

    Just to hear the birds sing

    Releasing every goal

    Built things on things that were old

    Expecting something new seems bold

    Sacrificing the intimate stories told

    From now on, leave the past alone

    Investing in what I can call my own

    Free to be alone

  • Lost My Mind

    Lost My Mind

    Lost my mind

    Saw your picture

    Something bout

    Those eyes

    Drew me closer

    Crush on you

    Since school

    Always excused

    Why I wasn’t

    With you

    Lost my mind

    Lost my mind

    Every time

    I see you

    It’s like

    The first time

    We got this

    Yo-Yo thing

    We can go back

    We go forth

    But we never lose

    What we endured

    Lost my mind

    Lost my mind

    Thinking bout you

    Keep thinking

    Bout that

    Dear thing born in you

    Straight missing you

    Distance guards us

    But that love

    It’s supernatural

    It’s so powerful

    Loving you

    Lost my mind.

  • Perspective

    Perspective

    Confined in frustration

    Institutionalized in speculation

    Blinded justice

    It’s not just us

    Ingrained in the earth

    Lost at birth

    Intentionally marginalized

    Don’t be surprised

    Accepting the fact

    Disarray is packed

    Shocked to attacked

    Frustrating circumstances

    Void of chances

    Rolling dice after dice

    Avoiding random advice

    Controlled by every vice

    Digging into every chasm

    Longing for every spasm

    Anything to feel a feeling

    Long past my last cause

    Cause death seems appealing

    I’ll never reach that glass ceiling

    Circumventing regulation

    Doing anything out of desperation

    Grinding through exhilaration

    Maintaining this station

    Pretending every dream comes true

    As if every prayer is for you

    The dramatic scene is serene

    Looking and looking, looking so mean

    It’s the reality of what it seems

    Knowing that you know

    But what does it mean

    Rejecting the endless fantasy

    Avoiding life loans

    Loving instead of dreaming

    Doing over sleeping

    Driving into the mystery

    Seeking each void of humanity

    Building an infinite memory

    Ending each regret

    Taking every bet

    Leaving nothing to be desired

    Fueling this fire

  • Still

    Still

    Still here

    Thinking bout you

    Can’t even feel

    That connection with you

    We were bonding

    So I thought

    Now we are wandering

    Thinking…..

    Don’t fully accept

    Why you left

    But learned from the past

    Don’t hold on too long

    More you hold on

    Sooner and longer they’ll be gone

    So I’m here

    Thinking bout you

    Thinking…

    When you’re ready

    Still here

    Same number

    Still here

    Same DM

    didn’t go anywhere

    Still here, still here

    Grateful for the time

    Smiling when I think

    About fast food lines

    Chit chat, eat a snack

    Things feel different

    I don’t know

    What am I missing

    Friendship indeed

    Praying…..

    One day

    You’ll need me again

    I’ll be right there

    Attentively listening

    Doing anything I can do

    Cause I’m at my best

    When I’m with you

    Heart pounding

    Getting louder

    Just heard your ring

    It’s that power

    Praying….

    When you’re ready

    Still here

    Same number

    Still here

    Same DM

    didn’t go anywhere

    Still here, still here

  • I don’t want to be here

    I don’t want to be here

    I don’t want to be here

    I don’t want to be anywhere

    Anywhere that is required Of me

    It never lets me just be me

    Let me exist in the shadow

    Periodically wanting me to interject

    As if I’ve always been here

    I don’t want to be here

    Don’t want any sense of responsibility

    Don’t want any bill to call upon me

    Don’t want to be dependent upon

    Just want to breathe every day until the sun is gone

    Just want to breathe every day under moonlight

    Seeing waves caress my blight

    I don’t want to be here

    Where people say hello before my name

    Where there’s an expectation that I do the same

    Where everyday is not really for me

    Cause someone somewhere needs me

    Wanting me to do what they wouldn’t do for me

    I don’t want to be here

    Staring in the air mindlessly

    But always on call in a minute

    Waiting a call, text some type of message

    When my cycle of existence

    Is based on someone else’s persistence

  • Working

    Working

    Working

    Grinding

    Pleading

    Believing

    Completing

    Nothing

    Pleasing

    Agreeing

    Working

    Building

    Driving

    Striving

    Growing

    Knowing

    Cooking

    Showing

    Working

    Loving

    Kissing

    Hugging

    Supporting

    Speaking

    Glowing

    Uplifting

    Working

    Creating

    Devastating

    Bleeding

    Healing

    Smiling

    Frowning

    Teasing

    Clowning

  • Pain And Me

    Pain And Me

    Pain is eating me

    Like it’s feeding me

    Becoming my only source

    Calling it my energy

    Absorbing it

    Like I am a part of it

    I am what I am

    Pain is what it is

    We are my mom’s only kids

    Been riding it out

    Shout it out

    In the midst of misery

    It’s just pain and me

    There ain’t nothing real

    It’s just how I feel

    Between paper lines

    Writing out each thought of mine

    Hoping with expectation

    One day there’ll be a celebration

    The real issue

    So close to desperation

    Mind and body

    Total separation

    Slowly and surely everything

    That’s happening

    It’s just pain and me

    What does it mean

    When you look to stars

    Nothing to be seen

    No inspiration to gleam

    Can’t see past the hand in front of you

    Can’t get past

    The first two steps

    All you can do is that 1-2, 1-2

    Accepting that this life in me

    Breeds every misery

    Incubating something new

    Reminding me about me

    It’s just pain and me

    How does it feel

    When the sun has no appeal

    The moon’s light ain’t never right

    Deeply inhaling but

    Never getting fresh air

    Taste buds ain’t tasting

    Smelling something stale

    Skin feeling itchy and pale

    Closing down internally

    To every external stimulus

    The greed in me longing for peace

    Yet reality only sees me

    It’s just pain and me

  • Light My Life

    Light My Life

    Can I just say

    Sitting here

    With my head hung low

    In a crazy mood

    Feeling my hearts echo

    Times like this

    Really thinking

    Was I ever happy

    Is there a smile for me?

    darkest day

    What could I do

    World pressing me

    Tryna see it through

    Forcing my imagination

    For brighter days

    Struggling to feel

    Human again

    New alert

    On the phone

    Smile from you

    “How are you?”

    You light my life

    First ray of sunshine

    You light my life

    Every time I see you

    You light my life

    Light my life

    Everything in life

    You light my life

    Making up things

    Anything to talk

    That energy

    Grows on me

    Indestructible feeling

    When we meet

    Those endorphins

    High on life

    Steady and ready

    Accomplish anything

    Just from your touch

    Casually imagining

    If it were done intentionally

    How would it feel

    For Yin to Yang

    Diving deep into

    This Love sick thing

    Atomically cannot stop

    Until we reach the end

    Finally found

    My best friend

    You light my life

    First ray of sunshine

    You light my life

    Every time I see you

    You light my life

    Light my life

    Everything in life

    You light my life

  • Final Goodbye

    Final Goodbye

    This is my last time

    Saying that final goodbye

    Let God wipe the tear from my eye

    This is my last time

    Never will I feel this way

    Nothing else to say

    Never been like this before

    Thought I wanted something more and more

    Now things are crazy

    I don’t even exist

    Just a shadow of me

    Walking through the door

    Not a care in this world

    Thinking I’m not alone

    That’s the biggest curse

    Wanting to believe it must be me

    Why else does guilt keep grabbing me

    The more and More I push

    The more and more I realize

    And I still act surprised

    When I finally see

    And ain’t a us, just a me

    This is my last time

    Saying that final goodbye

    Let God wipe the tear from my eye

    This is my last time

    Never will I feel this way

    Nothing else to say

    Leaving phones unanswered

    Have no desire to speak

    Becomes more and more difficult

    Pretending I’m weak

    As the wind blows

    I can feel every bit of the past

    Just never imagined that pain would last

    As the river flows

    Everything is washed away

    Nothing else to even do

    Just awaiting judgement day

    Have no expectations of open gates

    The subtlety of each and every crime

    Beyond what they eye could see

    But God always saw me

    That wrath will be upon me

    This is my last time

    Saying that final goodbye

    Let God wipe the tear from my eye

    This is my last time

    Never will I feel this way

    Nothing else to say

    Watching out for anything new

    Happiness is just a myth

    Just hard to be so serious

    Holding onto this pain

    It just reminds me of things

    Not sure how I get through

    Every 24th hour

    Just brings me compounded pain

    If I could really smile

    Wonder what that would be like

    Really laughing out of joy not spite

    Really seeing something new

    Having that anxiety of love anew

    Something always happens

    Manifested lies and behavior

    Just Tired of being my own savior

    This is my last time

    Saying that final goodbye

    Let God wipe the tear from my eye

    This is my last time

    Never will I feel this way

    Nothing else to say