Sy Bryant

Tag: blackpoet

  • Remember

    Remember

    Remember our first real talk

    Grand illusions of the future

    Talking like this and that would happen

    Spent hours just rapping

    Learning, creating and growing dreams

    Saw those things every night in my sleep

    For some reason it never become reality

    Remember how we use to do everything

    Didn’t matter just took one ring

    Wherever you were it was like gravity

    I just needed you next to me

    We went on and on for months

    Didn’t always have to talk

    Loved you and me in the dark.

    Remember that first time

    Missing you so hard after that trip

    Was so hard with that first kiss

    Something happened and I knew

    I never ever wanted to be without you

    Everyday was something new

    Just cause it was with you

    Remember those crazy missions

    It was like complete submission

    Surprised we kept our occupations

    Cause we were always together

    There was nothing better than TV all day

    Chinese for lunch and dinner

    I’d do anything for you

  • I can’t Do It

    I can’t Do It

    I can’t do it

    Celebrating mediocrity

    Holding onto this vain belief

    I am expected to celebrate freedom

    I am expected to ignore to cost

    I dare not say how many lives it has cost

    If I start to imagine this differently

    It feels like, really deep in me

    We are still paying a cost

    Because I must celebrate

    Each and every time

    Someone with skin color like mine

    Is ALLOWED to do something for the first time

    I can’t do it

    I see the Queens accomplishments

    But historically we know

    It doesn’t mean the door is really open

    It doesn’t mean they let her all the way in

    It means they opened it just enough

    Just enough for her to squeak in

    As soon as she was in

    That door was shut

    Lights turned onto the highest lumens

    To pick apart every single fault

    As she checked and double checked

    Preventing any failure to be unchecked

    I can’t do it

    I know I am expected to

    Be proud of that common phrase

    From over a century ago

    The first person to do X with this skin tone

    The thing that is hard for me

    That skin tone never stopped anyone’s ability

    In reality they could always do what they did

    The only thing lacking was opportunity

    This weight that is really upon me

    Is indirectly we are celebrating one simple fact

    Celebrating a decision that someone somewhere

    Decided to give this skin tone a chance

    I can’t do it

    I want to celebrate progress

    I want to see life for what it is meant to be

    The most honorable gentleman said

    We should be judged by the content of our character

    He was eluding to the sheer possibility

    That the skin we wear doesn’t define anything

    You could have a dark hue and win

    You could have a light hue and always sun

    The celebratory part is when no ones hue matters

    And it doesn’t stop there

    It’s when our thoughts are the only equity

    How do we celebrate that victory?

  • Living Today

    Living Today

    Ever felt like everything you believed was a lie

    It’s like you realize in hindsight

    Nothing was real, not even reality.

    Now the reality that you see ain’t what you expected it to be.

    Ever thought what if I changed that one decision in my life.

    It’s like you associate your entire existence to one moment in time.

    But that time is long gone and so now all you try to do is hold on. 

    Ever believed there is something better in this world.

    Something inspiring, something serene,  something that makes this insane world livable.

    Something to wake up for.   There just has to be more.

    Ever thought about the future.  And realized everything in your future doesn’t exist in your present.   Ever realize that you just created another fantasy instead of living today.

  • Forgiveness

    Forgiveness

    Forgiveness?

    I heard about you

    People stay talking about you

    Telling me I need to meet you

    Somehow I need to get to know you

    They kept saying I need some time with you

    Telling me how nice you are

    Speaking as if we ever met

    The world would be so different

    The crazy part

    They never tell me how you look

    Only describing emotion intelligent things

    As if those things have meaning

    Expecting me to show a sign of softness

    Forgiveness?

    Forgiveness?

    Let me tell you like this

    I know how to treat people

    And if you want to be

    One of those people

    Just know

    I will tell you

    Like I told them

    Everything is everything

    We can even pretend to be friends

    But if you dare cross me in anyway

    You better watch for what’s coming your way

    I will cut you off with the quickness

    Forgiveness?

    Forgiveness?

    You keep asking me these questions

    Knowing you really don’t want to know the answer

    I know I’m alone, but that doesn’t mean I’m lonely

    It is absolutely intentional

    Based on how people treat me

    I know every time I see you

    You looking at me because I’m solo

    But at least if I am the only one here

    I will already know

    How everything is about to go

    I’m telling you I am good

    From sun up to sun down

    I do not need you in my business

    Forgiveness?

    Forgiveness?

    When the night becomes clear

    That is the part that is anchored in fear

    Would I be as strong as I claim to be

    If everyone that did anything

    I allowed to continually hurt me

    How am I missing out on life?

    You know how this thing go

    You meet them

    You trust them

    They take you for granted

    They take your last bit of trust

    Now they look real different

    That is why I am suspicious.

    Forgiveness.

    Forgiveness.

    I get what you saying

    Because I have yet to let go

    From each and every hurt and pain

    Right now

    That is all I know

    I know how to be hurt

    I know how to manage pain

    And now, somehow

    I am creating the exact scenario

    That I claim to be letting go

    I am my worst enemy

    Counting nights minutes

    Forgiveness.

    Forgiveness

    I see you

    I remember I saw you a while back

    When I turned away

    When they stabbed me in the back

    I walked right past you

    I just didn’t know it was you

    I just thought as long as I keep this wall up

    I would always be strong enough

    Now this same wall grown so tall

    I cannot see anything

    Not a single joy or smile

    Please accept my apology

    Please forgive me.

  • Got Me Loving You

    Got Me Loving You

    It ain’t your brown eyes

    Looking deep into mine

    No that doesn’t draw me near

    Your skin tone

    Kissed by summers rays

    Doesn’t bring me any closer to you

    Something indescribable about you

    Got me loving you

    It Ain’t your fragrance

    That perfume fills the room

    Making me only think of you

    Not the way you move

    Everyone getting on your groove

    Trying to figure it out

    Even when I’m not with you

    Got me loving you

    It Ain’t your expertise

    Of everything within your reach

    Your command of people

    Has them follow you endlessly

    Not even your elegance

    Upon your entrance

    Everyone needing to see you

    Got me loving you

    It Ain’t your presence

    Desirable essence

    That savior faire

    Everyone knows you here

    Not anything I can tell you

    No matter what it is

    Just know one thing is true

    Got me loving you 

  • Praying

    Praying

    Prayed for rain,

    Now I’m standing in mud

    Really thought I knew what I wanted.

    It was dry and barren.

    Thought I just needed to be caring. 

    Confidently I knew the way

    Now that rain drained my day.

    Praying, for what I want

    Praying, for what I need

    Is praying the answer,

    Or should I just wait patiently?

    Prayed for strength,

    Now I’ve lost my compassion

    Really thought if I could just be stronger,

    I could make it last much longer.

    Tears.

    Heartache. 

    Now it’s gone, but so too is the passion.

    Now I can’t feel anything, just the weight of this strength.

    Praying, for what I want.

    Praying, for what I need.

    Is praying the answer,

    Or should I just wait patiently?

    Prayed and prayed, but I’m still in need. 

    Got every single thing that I’ve prayed for, yet I’m empty. 

    Learn to accept and manage, instead praying for that greener grass.

    It’s all just an illusion, and this too shall pass.

    Praying, for what I want.

    Praying, for what I need.

    Is praying the answer,

    Or should I just wait patiently?

  • Just ain’t right

    Just ain’t right

    Coming in late at night

    Something

    Just doesn’t feel right

    Gut telling me

    There’s something

    I don’t wanna know

    Asking you random questions

    Hoping you come real slow

    Nothing is wrong

    Yeah, I heard what you said

    But this feeling

    Stays inside my head

    Suspiciously I stare at you

    Now you frustrated

    You looking different

    Can’t recognize that scent

    Something just ain’t right

    The way you coming home

    Each and every night

    Something just ain’t right

    You can’t even look at me

    What is it you expect of me

    Tryna have this conversation with you

    You avoiding every question

    What did I do to you

    Your avoidance is worrying

    Got me thinking

    That something is missing

    Missing something obvious

    Because your answers are dubious

    What should I expect

    When I feel the neglect

    You losing my respect

    Now you slowly

    Looking uneasy

    What is it

    Oh, now you feel me

    Feel me, leaving

    Something just ain’t right

    They way you coming home

    Each and every night

    Something just ain’t right

    You can even look at me

    What is it you expect of me

    Listen to me

    Loud and clearly

    Never repeating this

    So I hope you hear

    I know you

    Like I know me

    And I know this feeling

    When I’m uneasy

    Whether you admit it or not

    I know you doing something

    That just ain’t right

    Don’t care if you don’t come clean

    My conscience ain’t feeling a thing

    So keep the lie to yourself

    And let me be by myself

    Don’t need anyone else

    Something just ain’t right

    They way you coming home

    Each and every night

    Something just ain’t right

    You can even look at me

    What is it you expect of me

  • Should Be Sleeping

    Should Be Sleeping

    I should be sleeping

    But my mind won’t rest

    Keep replaying today

    Our conversation from today

    Wondering how you feeling

    How are you dealing

    Cause some days

    My heart hurts

    When I know

    The whole day will pass

    And I won’t see that ass

    I should be sleeping

    But I still have stuff on my mind

    Need to get this out

    Truth please set me free

    Please allow her to see

    That I’m in love

    With her love

    Loving that love

    That she gives relentlessly

    Without judgement

    Without cruelty

    Purely love

    Sweet destiny

    I should be sleeping

    But I need you to listen

    I would give it all up

    Every day

    The most joyous day

    The happiest week

    The longest night

    Milestone after milestone

    I would give it all up

    For a chance to rewind time

    To tell you this from the beginning

    To tell you you are the shit

    And I fucked Up

    And missed it.

    I should be sleeping

    But I’m here trying to live

    But it’s different when

    You have to fight to live

    When you ain’t enjoying life

    You are just a part of life

    Incomplete, unfocused

    Transverse time as if there is time

    Awaiting the end, because the past passed

    Seeing that parallel timeline

    Plotting intricate plots

    Plotting to jump to that line

    That line where we are together

    Talking shit

    Blending shit

    Rolling shit

    Smoking shit

  • If Only….

    If Only….

    If only we were strong enough

    As a collective

    Not to view professional sports

    As the golden ticket

    To somehow believe

    We are more than our physicality

    We could literally create

    More than we have already invented

    We could absolutely lead

    Further than we ever have managed

    If only we saw the Negro League

    As a point of strength

    Not a means to an end

    Although we were winning

    We claimed it as a failure

    As those that are unlike us

    Didn’t accept our win

    And I just don’t know when

    When we will see ourselves

    As the victories that we are

    Surpassing mediocrity

    Elevating from slavery

    Yet, are we free?

    If only we could see the beauty

    Seeing females as if they are princesses and queens

    Seeing men as if they are princes and kings

    Creating a new narrative

    Where celebrating the first

    To do something

    In someone else’s culture

    Is no longer seen as a monumental thing

    Where our boundaries and breakthroughs

    Are only self defined

    Where I don’t need to prove shit to no one

    That could care less about me

    And I don’t need to trumpet

    That I am as good as someone else

    I can literally just be myself

    If only we could plant new seeds

    Nurtured with a new energy

    No longer naming this new being

    Based on old things

    If slavery was such a bad thing

    Why do we hold onto to any of it?

    The names, the celebrations

    Or even the religions

    That were only allowed

    To ensure we remained a human plow

    It wasn’t the relinquishing

    Of prison gates that granted freedom

    We were simply told we were allowed to go

    Up until that point we mentally

    Weren’t allowed to go

    And still to this day

    That very minimal energy

    Never balanced the scales

    So it’s surprising me

    When people say they are free

    If only we knew the cost of freedom

    Do we give our life?

    So that the next life will be free

    Do we sacrifice our culture?

    Creating it into an economy

    So that the next generation

    Will have less pressure to fit in

    Do we call out the ignorance?

    And beg for people

    To look at us different

    Do we take up arms?

    And beg for people

    To treat us different

    Do we realize

    That we aren’t even the root of the issue

    Do we continue to ignore

    The issues rooted in the formation of this place

    It is not anything we can do or not do

    There is this every present belief

    That the revolt that never happened

    Against those of European descent

    Will one day happen

    Against those of European descent

    I have to just tell you

    No one wants it to happen

    Except those of European descent

    If only everyone loved unconditionally…

  • Subtle Breeze

    Subtle Breeze

    Staring into this subtle breeze

    Continuous cloud blocking the burning sun

    Endless sand finally touching my homeland

    Left to wonder, and understand this new summer

    This new summer showing me the past

    Encapsulating every bias I have

    Serenity can only be leased

    Why must I have this break in peace?

    This break in peace

    Pounds a deafening frequency

    Wanting to believe in something

    Not destined for me

    For me the world is too much

    Staggered in analysis causing paralysis

    Yet I will claim

    It’s all in Christ’s name

    In Christ’s name I pray

    If I were a strong as he

    Then I would know what this life really means

    Selfishly believing in a feeling I’ll never know

    I’ll never know what it means

    To sacrifice your own life

    For someone you don’t even know

    Somehow finding an existence in everything I hold dear

    Everything I hold dear

    Held in the chasm of my mind

    Holding every doubt with ease

    Staring into the subtle breeze

  • Democracy

    Democracy

    Within its thrills of DEMOCRACY

    I think I see more than what

    I’m supposed to see

    Things are fair and just

    Because that’s what you’re meant to see

    But in the midst of the struggle

    Poor will fight poor

    To maintain the wealthy

    The wealthy elite

    That’s who the stars represent

    The stripes for everyone else’s

    Pain and punishment

    It’s gotten so irate

    That the Lords and the Saxons

    Argue about unending debates

    Gross neglect is DEMOCRACY’S fate

    You just have to stop and think

    What’s the purpose of this DEMOCRACY

    For all the times that it existed

    Mass murders were a common existence

    King’s fought side by side with their armies

    No one was above peace and harmony

    Then realization manifested into reality

    An elitist dying from war would never be reality

    War has always existed

    It is a animalistic condition

    To have everything you can possible hold

    No one wants to really share

    Until they are past tense and old

    So we continue propagating this myth

    That we are free

    And it’s due to DEMOCRACY

  • The Future

    The Future

    I can see into the future

    There are no mics to drop

    Nothing spectacular to convey

    The first lesson you shall learn

    You will not see everyday

    I can see into the future

    Disasters are really triumphs

    They bring life out of death

    Emphasizing what is left

    Yet we only see the theft

    I can see into the future

    The earth spinning on its axis

    Multitude avoiding taxes

    Ignoring the humanity of community

    While wondering, is it me?

    I can see into the future

    The dawn of each day

    With every setting sun

    Someone leaves this place

    Before their work has begun

    I can see into the future

    Dare not share this thought

    Freedom is not free

    Created from destruction

    Ignored in selfish possibility

    I can see into the future

    The caste is set in stone

    Reminisce of illegitimate wealth

    Creating limitations

    That only apply to someone else

    I can see into the future

    The image of Heaven stands

    The North Star of every land

    Keeping mischievous beings in check

    Preventing the evolution of what’s next

  • Been Asking

    Been Asking

    Been asking God for you

    Never knew it was you

    Didn’t know I already knew you

    Everything I needed

    Right in front of me

    It was all in you

    Been asking for this

    Someone to share every detail with

    Without grades or judgement

    Spiritually recognized

    Holding on for dear life

    Realizing the anointed life

    Been asking God for you

    Someone that cares

    For what I’m going through

    So long been alone for so long

    Didn’t realize when I was with you

    You were the one to confide to

    Been asking for this

    This ain’t even physical

    Feeling your words, it’s emotional

    Finding the next step is challenging

    Digging into ever crate I can find

    Can’t keep you off my mind

    Been asking God for you

    And I’m so thankful

    That God already has you

    Already breathing in you

    Cause my mind would be different

    If your calling wasn’t heaven sent

  • I don’t know what to do

    I don’t know what to do

    I don’t know what to do

    Everything was happening

    And the happenings

    That just kept happening

    And no one knew what to do

    They thought isolation

    Would somehow help us

    And now I’m left wondering

    Because you are not here

    Instead of staying away

    Thinking I was keeping you safe

    Should I have stayed closer

    To keep you safe

    Now there is nothing left

    Just those memories

    cherishing every moment

    That we had

    Trying my hardest

    Yet I’m still sad.

    I don’t know what to do

    It all happened so fast

    We just spoke last week

    You were a little tired

    But you could still speak

    Then calls were unanswered

    There were no more social media post

    It felt like the world went silent

    Calling around to everyone

    Yet no one heard from you

    The nurse said it wasn’t going well

    There was this eery feeling

    Wondering without information

    Stuck second guessing

    Each piece of sporadic information

    The ventilator was working well

    That’s what we were told

    Nothing to worry about

    Everything would be O.K.

    You weren’t that old

    I don’t know what to do

    The hospital called

    We still cannot see you

    Not even to say our final goodbye

    I pray to God that this isn’t true

    What prayer do I need to pray

    What else can I possibly do

    There is so much life left

    Cannot fathom it’ll be without you

    I’m lost in this moment

    Begging for another moment

    Heart levied with anguish

    Not knowing what to do next

    Everyone is calling everyone else

    How do we move forward

    Recognizing there will be no closure

    The tears flowed swiftly

    Lost every sense of composer

    When they finally told me

    Your life was over

    I don’t know what to do

    Standing here in the open air

    Finding comfort in memories

    Sharing tears openly

    Writing your name clearly

    Speaking your name loudly

    Celebrating every day

    As if you are still here with me

    Closing my eyes

    Just for a moment of peace

    Forever more

    I will eternally say your name

    Smiling momentarily

    Believing holistically

    There is life after this world

    We will be reunited eventually

    Holding each day from now til then

    Burying your earthly shell

    Hoping that somehow

    You will live through me

  • Happy Birthday Wifey

    Happy Birthday Wifey

    Love you Dearly

    Screaming your name,

    Can you hear me?

    Right in front of your face,

    Can you see me?

    Have to do something,

    And do it quickly

    Hope you feel me, 

    Cause I love you dearly

    Every time I see you

    Feels like the first time

    Anxiety, excitement, every time

    Looking into your brown eyes

    Captivated by your intelligence

    Talking about our kids

    Like we got so many

    Loving the stories

    There are so many

    The sacrificing parents that we are

    Screaming your name,

    Can you hear me?

    Right in front of your face,

    Can you see me?

    Have to do something,

    And do it quickly

    Hope you feel me, 

    Cause I love you dearly

    No day is promised

    So putting it on the line

    I want to be all you need, all the time

    I love you unconditionally

    Don’t care where you been

    Making myself your best friend

    Shoulder to cry on, to lean on too

    The world is just purer with me and you

    Loving each day because I see you

    Intentionally making memories of you

    What do you need?

    What can I provide?

    Being yours is my pride

    Screaming your name,

    Can you hear me?

    Right in front of your face,

    Can you see me?

    Have to do something,

    And do it quickly

    Hope you feel me, 

    Cause I love you dearly

    Ride Wit You

    Today was one of those days

    When I realized I how I felt

    Being there at this phase

    Seeing your face, heartfelt

    Up till this point it’s been a maze

    Managing what was being dealt

    But today just got to ride wit you

    I’m seeing every point of view

    Thinking about all you been through

    Looking to shaded eyes in the rear view

    Realizing I didn’t have a clue

    Wondering how to get a better view

    At some point today our Love grew

    And I was happy just to ride wit you

    Awkwardly feeling, I’m catching feelings

    Together, friendship tough as leather

     Some days I’m loving you to the ceiling

    It’s those little attributes, touch of a feather

    Reliving all of our dealings

    Faith to endure all sort of weather

    Still here to ride wit you.

    The ending day, the worst part

    Knowing, I don’t know, when I’ll ride with you

    And when I’m near you I can feel my heart

    Eyes closed wishing, whispering I love you

    Wondering the difference if life had a restart

    Sacrificing everything just from a text from you

    I’m down to ride wit you

    Excited For You

    There is no feeling greater

    Being in your corner

    Whether the day is sunny

    Or the weather is devastating

    Something special in this

    Just trying to be there for you

    If you need it, listening to you

    During the storm, shelter for you

    Anything I can do

    Cause I’m excited for you

    You telling me your dreams

    I see them as reality

    You sharing your thoughts

    I already got you everything

    You low on energy

    I’m picking you up for the get up

    You feeling anxious

    I’m loving you with patience

    You just relaxing

    I’m out of your way

    Baby enjoy your day

    Excited for you

    Just to be there

    Seeing your success

    Whatever you need

    I got you

    Excited for you

    Sitting here waiting for you

    It’s one of those interviews

    Dress to the Ts, shoes too

    Gliding down the steps

    It’s pure elegance

    Cautiously optimistic

    I believing you are ballistic

    Everything prepared

    Dressed for success

    Nothing left

    But to master this day.

    The day is done

    And I’m smiling brightly

    Do you know

    How proud you made me

    Life giving you

    The insurmountable

    With all that God has giving you

    You are more than able

    Life flashing through

    Day by day

    Pushing each other along the way

    Living vicariously through you

    I’m So proud of the things you do

    Living, loving, dreaming about you

    I’m so excited for you.

    Excited for you

    Just to be there

    Seeing your success

    Whatever you need

    I got you

    Excited for you

  • Final Time To Say Farewell

    Final Time To Say Farewell

    Final time to say farewell

    Now I’m supposed to pretend

    That all is well

    Remembering that exact building

    Been there a few times

    Never once for a reason

    That didn’t leave a tear inside

    Final time to say farewell

    Now I’m supposed to believe

    You are in this heavenly place

    And I’ll never see you again

    Until I meet my own fate

    But I’ve done so many wrong things

    It’s just too late

    Final time to say farewell

    Recognizing you cannot see me

    There’s no breath left

    Ignoring the depths of eternity

    Knowing you cannot feel me

    Praying you knew

    Everything you are to me

    Final time to say farewell

    As if you won’t forever exist

    I swear to you

    I will always remember you

    Something this world will never take away

    Digesting your words

    Just seeing your face

    Final time to say farewell

    Wishing I said what needed to be said

    Hoping life won’t end where you lay

    Believing tomorrow brings a new day

    Wanting to know you can REST

    Needing something to believe IN

    Praying for your eternal PEACE

  • That Poetry

    That Poetry

    I am not a poet

    I am a lover

    Everything about anything

    It is all about love for me

    Instantaneously

    I will release it

    Given it away freely

    As if

    We spent every day freely

    As if

    Nothing else existed

    Besides your voice

    That poetry

    I am not real

    I am imagined

    Something about everything

    Love evolves within me

    Spontaneously

    You are always there

    Remember the summer scene

    As if

    Every car ride was serene

    As if

    We were an eternity

    Feeling your voice

    That poetry

    I am not that

    I am a belief

    Holding onto anatomical dreams

    Using future titles to speak life

    Sporadically

    I am my worse enemy

    Created obstacles

    As if

    I couldn’t handle the certainty

    As if

    Destiny was avoidable

    Hearing that love

    That poetry

  • Good Morning

    Good Morning

    Saying good morning

    Each and every morning

    So you know

    So you can feel

    This love is surreal

    When I wake up

    You’re on my mind

    Every single morning

    That first thought

    Is of you

    Even in the middle of the day

    Still feels like a good morning in a way

    There is something new

    This thing is refreshing

    Thoughts of us reminiscing

    Things we did

    Love we shared

    It’s everlasting experience love

    Year after year

    Sun is setting

    Umbrella protecting us from the sun

    Relaxing in summers warmth

    That good morning feeling

    Energy fueling me

    What else could it be

    Willingly accepting destiny

    Something about this

    I never want to miss

    Nights sweet calm

    Holding onto my arm

    You are leaning so gently

    That unique feeling sneaks in

    It’s a good morning again

    And I’m looking for that sense

    Trying my best to find that pleasure

    Everyday I’m learning

    Loving you into the next good morning.

  • Alone For So Long

    Alone For So Long

    Surrounded by breathing things and 100 things to do.  everything strange, no one is real.  In my own space,  thoughts here, serene emptiness.

    Alone for So long.

    Spinning endlessly around this sun, thinking about the first day I saw my son. Planting new seeds with old pain each generation thrown to death. 

    Alone for So long. 

    Systemically enslaved.  Mentally starving for the potential I so eloquently locked away.  Wanting that Cosby Show life, deep rooted emotional pain. 

    Alone for So long.

    Socially inept.  Leading or a shadow stuck between.  No interest in just being seen. I don’t know society.  Don’t know people. I know alone.  

    Alone for So long.

  • Divine Sanity

    Divine Sanity

    Just met you

    Traveling through the universe

    Kept thinking I missed you already

    Whole life a curse

    Woke up anew

    Just felt you

    Never laid one eye on you

    Yet I know you’re there

    Patiently I wait to meet you

    Open our minds

    To new hearts

    Our new life starts

    Releasing past guilt

    Atonement for legacy’s will

    Mastering the path ahead

    Shackled discarded limbs

    Sun’s release of energy

    Past now dead

    Cold heart becoming warm

    Anticipating end of the storm

    The smile upon my face

    The acceptance of grace

    Knowing the destiny

    Divine sanity

  • Chasing

    Chasing

    Chasing, endlessly pursuing

    Wanting elusive things aloft beings

    Experiences unmet

    Energy spent wanting

    Chasing, constantly waiting

    Hoping for a different outcome

    Feelings damaged

    Faith diminished

    Chasing, patiently seeing

    Living a tumultuous fantasy

    Life wasting

    Laugh gone

    Chasing, new reality

    Looking, new paths revealed

    Patiently waiting

    Pleasing satisfaction

  • That Piece

    That Piece

    Calling a name I don’t know

    To do some things I’ve never seen

    Going to go places I’ve never been

    Just to see your face

    Be present in your space

    That piece of serenity

    Calling this peace into existence

    Not even sure what I am missing

    Persevering through every obstacle

    The world is simple and cruel

    Masked by this innocence

    That piece of persistence

    Calling and screaming to be heard

    Fantasy controlling reality

    Nothing decent within me

    Aggressively deceitfully being me

    Subtly orchestrating inevitably

    That piece of hypocrisy

    Calling for assistance

    Realizing I cannot handle this

    Monumentally too much for me

    Devastated no one responded to me

    The realization of independence

    That piece of creative license

  • Epiphany of Pain

    Epiphany of Pain

    The Epiphany of Pain

    Imaging the first devastation

    Never imaging something so impactful

    Powerful words rattling my psyche

    Humbled by a chance opportunity

    To be the chosen few

    Nothing prepared us

    for what lay ahead

    Manhood, shining in the thunderous rain

    The Epiphany of Pain

    If we could yet awake from that dream

    Could not fathom the reality of things

    The physical challenges awaited us

    Mentally we were barely off of empty

    Linked in friendship kept our resiliency

    Rolling one after another

    Scholarship, massacred into our brain

    The Epiphany of Pain

    Illogically slowly accepting this fate

    Engulfed with idealistic thoughts

    Walking bridges others have taught

    Pursuing obstacles with a dogmatic view

    Listening to truths spoken by twisted knaves

    Realizing the crystal stair ancestors had to bare

    Perseverance, grinding to become insane

    The Epiphany of Pain

    Accepting the fallacy of all I hold dear

    There was but six standing there

    Climbing through the the darkest night

    Shoulder to shoulder, days to night

    Rebuilt in the shadow of KAOS hard ways

    Souls combined into the Kaotix 6ix

    Uplift, birthed in the hardest of ways

  • Releasing

    Releasing

    Releasing every thought

    Each perspective

    All ideas that contain

    All the limitations I have every experienced

    The thoughts that prevent progression

    The idea that is now a nightmare

    Releasing it all in the crisp cool air

    Releasing every pain

    Thorn of thoughts

    Piercing the flesh of forgiveness

    Debilitating fruits of labor

    Void of thought, is what I savor

    Enabling the strength to succeed

    That’s all I really need

    Releasing every history

    Today is a new thing

    Intentionally filling it with new dreams

    Building ideas, concepts, pure energy

    Interlocking joy with jeopardy

    Risking it all on everything

    Just to hear the birds sing

    Releasing every goal

    Built things on things that were old

    Expecting something new seems bold

    Sacrificing the intimate stories told

    From now on, leave the past alone

    Investing in what I can call my own

    Free to be alone

  • Perspective

    Perspective

    Confined in frustration

    Institutionalized in speculation

    Blinded justice

    It’s not just us

    Ingrained in the earth

    Lost at birth

    Intentionally marginalized

    Don’t be surprised

    Accepting the fact

    Disarray is packed

    Shocked to attacked

    Frustrating circumstances

    Void of chances

    Rolling dice after dice

    Avoiding random advice

    Controlled by every vice

    Digging into every chasm

    Longing for every spasm

    Anything to feel a feeling

    Long past my last cause

    Cause death seems appealing

    I’ll never reach that glass ceiling

    Circumventing regulation

    Doing anything out of desperation

    Grinding through exhilaration

    Maintaining this station

    Pretending every dream comes true

    As if every prayer is for you

    The dramatic scene is serene

    Looking and looking, looking so mean

    It’s the reality of what it seems

    Knowing that you know

    But what does it mean

    Rejecting the endless fantasy

    Avoiding life loans

    Loving instead of dreaming

    Doing over sleeping

    Driving into the mystery

    Seeking each void of humanity

    Building an infinite memory

    Ending each regret

    Taking every bet

    Leaving nothing to be desired

    Fueling this fire

  • I don’t want to be here

    I don’t want to be here

    I don’t want to be here

    I don’t want to be anywhere

    Anywhere that is required Of me

    It never lets me just be me

    Let me exist in the shadow

    Periodically wanting me to interject

    As if I’ve always been here

    I don’t want to be here

    Don’t want any sense of responsibility

    Don’t want any bill to call upon me

    Don’t want to be dependent upon

    Just want to breathe every day until the sun is gone

    Just want to breathe every day under moonlight

    Seeing waves caress my blight

    I don’t want to be here

    Where people say hello before my name

    Where there’s an expectation that I do the same

    Where everyday is not really for me

    Cause someone somewhere needs me

    Wanting me to do what they wouldn’t do for me

    I don’t want to be here

    Staring in the air mindlessly

    But always on call in a minute

    Waiting a call, text some type of message

    When my cycle of existence

    Is based on someone else’s persistence

  • Working

    Working

    Working

    Grinding

    Pleading

    Believing

    Completing

    Nothing

    Pleasing

    Agreeing

    Working

    Building

    Driving

    Striving

    Growing

    Knowing

    Cooking

    Showing

    Working

    Loving

    Kissing

    Hugging

    Supporting

    Speaking

    Glowing

    Uplifting

    Working

    Creating

    Devastating

    Bleeding

    Healing

    Smiling

    Frowning

    Teasing

    Clowning

  • Pain And Me

    Pain And Me

    Pain is eating me

    Like it’s feeding me

    Becoming my only source

    Calling it my energy

    Absorbing it

    Like I am a part of it

    I am what I am

    Pain is what it is

    We are my mom’s only kids

    Been riding it out

    Shout it out

    In the midst of misery

    It’s just pain and me

    There ain’t nothing real

    It’s just how I feel

    Between paper lines

    Writing out each thought of mine

    Hoping with expectation

    One day there’ll be a celebration

    The real issue

    So close to desperation

    Mind and body

    Total separation

    Slowly and surely everything

    That’s happening

    It’s just pain and me

    What does it mean

    When you look to stars

    Nothing to be seen

    No inspiration to gleam

    Can’t see past the hand in front of you

    Can’t get past

    The first two steps

    All you can do is that 1-2, 1-2

    Accepting that this life in me

    Breeds every misery

    Incubating something new

    Reminding me about me

    It’s just pain and me

    How does it feel

    When the sun has no appeal

    The moon’s light ain’t never right

    Deeply inhaling but

    Never getting fresh air

    Taste buds ain’t tasting

    Smelling something stale

    Skin feeling itchy and pale

    Closing down internally

    To every external stimulus

    The greed in me longing for peace

    Yet reality only sees me

    It’s just pain and me

  • Light My Life

    Light My Life

    Can I just say

    Sitting here

    With my head hung low

    In a crazy mood

    Feeling my hearts echo

    Times like this

    Really thinking

    Was I ever happy

    Is there a smile for me?

    darkest day

    What could I do

    World pressing me

    Tryna see it through

    Forcing my imagination

    For brighter days

    Struggling to feel

    Human again

    New alert

    On the phone

    Smile from you

    “How are you?”

    You light my life

    First ray of sunshine

    You light my life

    Every time I see you

    You light my life

    Light my life

    Everything in life

    You light my life

    Making up things

    Anything to talk

    That energy

    Grows on me

    Indestructible feeling

    When we meet

    Those endorphins

    High on life

    Steady and ready

    Accomplish anything

    Just from your touch

    Casually imagining

    If it were done intentionally

    How would it feel

    For Yin to Yang

    Diving deep into

    This Love sick thing

    Atomically cannot stop

    Until we reach the end

    Finally found

    My best friend

    You light my life

    First ray of sunshine

    You light my life

    Every time I see you

    You light my life

    Light my life

    Everything in life

    You light my life

  • Final Goodbye

    Final Goodbye

    This is my last time

    Saying that final goodbye

    Let God wipe the tear from my eye

    This is my last time

    Never will I feel this way

    Nothing else to say

    Never been like this before

    Thought I wanted something more and more

    Now things are crazy

    I don’t even exist

    Just a shadow of me

    Walking through the door

    Not a care in this world

    Thinking I’m not alone

    That’s the biggest curse

    Wanting to believe it must be me

    Why else does guilt keep grabbing me

    The more and More I push

    The more and more I realize

    And I still act surprised

    When I finally see

    And ain’t a us, just a me

    This is my last time

    Saying that final goodbye

    Let God wipe the tear from my eye

    This is my last time

    Never will I feel this way

    Nothing else to say

    Leaving phones unanswered

    Have no desire to speak

    Becomes more and more difficult

    Pretending I’m weak

    As the wind blows

    I can feel every bit of the past

    Just never imagined that pain would last

    As the river flows

    Everything is washed away

    Nothing else to even do

    Just awaiting judgement day

    Have no expectations of open gates

    The subtlety of each and every crime

    Beyond what they eye could see

    But God always saw me

    That wrath will be upon me

    This is my last time

    Saying that final goodbye

    Let God wipe the tear from my eye

    This is my last time

    Never will I feel this way

    Nothing else to say

    Watching out for anything new

    Happiness is just a myth

    Just hard to be so serious

    Holding onto this pain

    It just reminds me of things

    Not sure how I get through

    Every 24th hour

    Just brings me compounded pain

    If I could really smile

    Wonder what that would be like

    Really laughing out of joy not spite

    Really seeing something new

    Having that anxiety of love anew

    Something always happens

    Manifested lies and behavior

    Just Tired of being my own savior

    This is my last time

    Saying that final goodbye

    Let God wipe the tear from my eye

    This is my last time

    Never will I feel this way

    Nothing else to say

  • I’ll Be Ready

    I’ll Be Ready

    Last time I saw you

    Was the first time

    I ever saw you

    didn’t even meet you

    Just glad

    I had the chance to see you

    And ever since that day

    Been hoping

    You come my way

    Next time

    I promise you

    I will be ready

    Just a chase encounter

    Waiting on the counter

    You talking to them

    But you looking at me

    Sweetie……..

    Just tell me what you see

    You looking deep into me

    And I am hoping slightly

    That we will have chance

    Maybe even a slow dance

    How’s that mocha latte

    That look on your face

    When you took that taste

    Hope I can give that to you

    Damn I so wish

    That I knew you

    Last time I saw you

    Was the first time

    I ever saw you

    didn’t even meet you

    Just glad

    I had the chance to see you

    And ever since that day

    Been hoping

    You come my way

    Next time

    I promise you

    I will be ready

    Slowly you walk away

    Accidently bump me

    Gotta be honest

    I was checking my pockets

    Thinking you wasn’t honest

    Your friend was talking to you

    While you was looking at me

    I wish you knew

    That I am so friendly

    You could have just said

    A quick hi to me

    Played it off subtly

    So your co-worker would think

    You already knew me

    Now that time has past

    Not even sure the memory will last

    But I know one thing for certain

    And two things for sure

    If I ever see you again

    I will never leave you again

    Last time I saw you

    Was the first time

    I ever saw you

    Next time

    I promise you

    I will be ready

    I will be ready

    I will be ready

    I promise you

    If I ever see you again

    I promise you

    I will be ready

    I will be ready