Sy Bryant

Category: LoveIs

  • Love Blinded Me

    Sitting here and I’m reflecting

    The days and nights I was dreading

    The anticipation of pain

    More than that physical pain

    Keeping hope where none remains

    Wanting life, like I imagined it to be

    Yet here I am

    Longing that fantasy

    Love blinded me

    Recalling days of the past

    Using hindsight’s glasses

    What I thought I saw

    Wasn’t reality at all

    That jumbled confusion

    My pain, my illusion

    it’s like waking up

    Not Knowing who you are

    It’s like the blindfold is gone

    Not knowing how this will work

    Have to admit my uncertainty

    Seeing you for the first time

    Love blinded me

    Those future plans

    Was never gonna come true

    Made with someone I never knew

    Elaborate strategies, strange feelings

    Our relationship never grew

    Now I see, too late to see

    This sea of misery

    So I persevere through excuses

    Continue to rationalize nothingness

    Paralyzed by embarrassment

    Not willing to accept my own role

    In this misguided fantasy

    Instead of accepting it

    I blame love instead

    Love blinded me

  • Frequency

    Frequency

    All it takes is a second

    And were disconnected

    That energy just stops

    Everything on mute

    First I thought it was me

    What happened to that frequency?

    Tryna not be affected

    Just know we’re disconnected

    Looking at you like a shell

    Physically you are there

    Mentally just cannot see

    Did we lose that frequency?

    Looking in the mirror

    Trying to find the change in me

    Something I’m missing

    Stuck in this misery

    Lost in shear futility

    I cannot feel our frequency.

    Pronounced as radar

    Sunshine or stormy weather

    Always reconcile with each other

    Discontent planted in fertile hearts

    Nothing left but the agony

    Missing our frequency.

  • She Is My Sister

    She Is My Sister

    She is my sister

    If you could only comprehend

    Wait give me a minute, help you understand

    Bond strong enough to pull dreams through atmospheres

    Wait, listen here,

    I’m saying bond guaranteed like death is to life

    I’m saying I can depend on my kids life

    Without strife

    She’s my sister.

    She is my sister

    Don’t think this on some sensitive thing

    You do her wrong, have your family in the church doing that old negro spiritual song

    She call, On the first ring I’m answering

    She text, I respond instantaneously

    There is no hesitation no wavering

    She speaks to me on that maturity thing

    A constant reminder to maintain that responsibility thing

    She’s on the “alright now…”

    like abracadabra my whole disposition change

    She’s my sister

    She is my sister

    Can’t tell you, since she moved from philly,

    How much I miss her

    Only the speed of sound away,

    But there’s something to having your sister that speed of light away

    Now we bond through exercising, she running, I’m cycling.

    Quick likes to know we still persevering

    Now we speak through stanza and prose

    She the only one that can inspire me on that deeper lyric.

    She is my sister.

  • Love Is a Verb

    Love Is a Verb

    Love is a verb

    An action word

    It don’t gotta be physical

    For it to be real

    If I could

    Wash away every memory

    All that pain you feel

    Wishing I was wizard

    Just cast a spell

    Speak something new

    Into this existence

    Just so you knew

    This love is persistent

    Love is a verb

    An action word

    It don’t gotta be about intimacy

    We Don’t gotta lie

    Just enjoying company

    Feeding this desire

    But we connected

    Constantly building

    Feeling your words

    Inspires me

    Just from being in your proximity

    Just invigorates me

    Energized by your energy

    Love is a verb

    An action word

    So I read every word

    Digest it instantly

    Transcribe it

    Do anything respectfully

    Encouraging you

    Believing in you

    Admiring your smile

    Even with the things

    You are trying to achieve

    If I could write you a letter

    It would start I love you

    Love is a verb

    An action word

    Sending you emojis

    Reminding you

    As simply as possible

    You are not alone

    Tell me whatever

    Lips stay sealed

    Listening to everything

    Whatever it is

    That you need to say

    And even if you can’t say it

    Let that silence lead the way

    Love is a verb

    An action word

    Seeing the future

    Already seen it hundreds of times

    Even still when it materializes

    I’m the first in line

    Just the pride I’ll have

    That smile you’ll have

    Sitting in that TV studio

    Endlessly promoting things

    Seeing the best in you

    On Display

    Loving You

  • These Songs

    These Songs

    Listen

    No I feel them

    Can remember them

    More than anything I’ve ever seen

    Hear this thing in my dreams

    Somehow speak for me

    In some way they feel me

    These songs

    It’s on or off

    They muse me

    Even bring me from my own despair

    Remind me that I am the creator

    Creating this thought I’m holding on to

    Creating this feeling about you

    Creating this pain when I’m around you

    Powerful harmony

    These songs

    The original high

    Powerful enough to lead soldiers to die

    Soothing enough ease a baby’s cry

    Proportionally voices increase strength

    Harmoniously instruments increase potency

    But that lone sound,

    that touches me

    Wake from death

    Create new life

    These songs

    Classically

    I get jazzed up

    Silently the blues comfort me

    The rhythm & blues can’t Pop me

    But The rhythm & poetry rock me

    Only feel one country

    But that feeling of the religious and folk

    It somehow was electronic

    Whether vocal or instrumental

    these songs.

  • Can You Love?

    Can You Love?

    Can you love the same song

    Even if you heard it

    A million times

    Could you hear it a million more

    Could you still smile

    At the best part

    Could feel it in your heart

    Can you love without end

    Every memory with a meaning

    Holding it tightly

    In the midst of the everything

    Knowing in the end

    Love will always win

    From start to finish and over again

    Can you love in the darkest of night

    Alone on a lonely night

    Far from a warm embrace

    Nowhere near love

    Nothing in its place

    Heaviest of hearts

    Desperate of hope

    Can you love every day

    Regardless of reality

    Can you believe in this fantasy

    Holding onto every possibility

    Can you see every potential

    Will you grant every opportunity

    For me to love continually

  • This Talisman

    This Talisman

    Speak the words

    Like you know me

    Remind me of who I am

    Especially those solemn days

    That anticipation of death

    That keeps me lonely

    Allow me to let go of everything

    Except this Talisman

    Recite it clearly

    The words that are etched in

    Their intent pure of innate ability

    Suggesting momentarily

    I am more than what I am feeling

    I sigh in the deepest relief

    Although I can recite the words

    I am not whole without this Talisman

    Meditating abruptly

    Arms no longer reaching to the heavens

    Strength lacking in every breath

    Everyone amplifying you are now in heaven

    Yet I’m left here wondering

    Under the sounds of the thundering

    Rain hiding my emotion

    Losing faith in this Talisman

    Listening to sounds never uttered

    You are just stories

    Past down to me hereditarily

    And I am meant to believe fully

    I dare not question not a single belief

    Enduring every mental illness while you forever sleep

    Praying for an eternity

    Through this Talisman

    Hearing moments of peace

    Everyone else down on their knees

    Reading the same words

    That I am meant to believe

    As if each word would restore you

    As if words would resuscitate you

    Contemplating living without you

    Laying this Talisman next to you

  • Spoke Life Into Me

    Spoke Life Into Me

    Everyday is not a blessing

    Waking up to unwanted emotions

    Seeing the darkness in the bluest sky

    Holding onto this image of peace

    Even things not within my control

    Still allowed to weigh on me

    Self reflecting into a solemn belief

    I must press on

    Because ya’ll spoke life into me

    Everyday I see a new flaw

    Am I supposed to fix everything I see

    And if I keep giving others everything

    When I settle down for the night

    I realize I have not a single thing

    Just the opportunity to do it all again

    Asking for strength in every stead

    But I must press on into destiny

    Because ya’ll spoke life into me

    Everyday does not solicit joy

    Viewing the world differently

    Noticing the sacrifices of everyone individually

    Yet no one wants to work collectively

    Then there are moments of elation

    When a group of individuals come together

    Set out on one mission

    Inadvertently seizing another opportunity

    Because ya’ll spoke life into me

    Everyday has success and disaster

    It’s nothing serious

    Just the existence of human existence

    Some days those days weigh heavier than most

    The challenge of challenging circumstances

    Faced with things I didn’t even sign up for

    There is not subtle way to say this

    Every single word, was an irreplaceable gift

    Because y’all spoke life into me

  • When Pens Speak

    When Pens Speak

    I lost you

    I mean I lost me

    What I am trying to say

    Is there are times

    When I can barely speak

    When the world is yelling

    There are people demanding

    My only respite

    When Pens Speak

    When Pens Speak

    No thought is hidden

    Emptying my mind

    Every drop of ink sublime

    Even when I artificial create beauty

    And I am left typing

    Every word holding onto me

    Loosen me to be at peace

    It’s like I lose track of time

    Because there is something I cannot describe

    But if you let me just try

    I am holding this plastic cylinder

    Just one thumb pressing down

    And I am immediately transcended

    And now I am trying to articulate words

    Some that I barely know

    But it helps with the flow

    When Pens Speak

    When Pens Speak

    Its always an easy evening

    Even if I am out of every bit of energy

    The alarm doesn’t need to call upon me

    It is that law of attraction that brings me in

    I know my pen is not enough

    I become a fiend for that energy

    To hear those words that can only be spoken

    Reading it would not do it justice

    When Pens Speak

  • Me

    Me

    Deleted every picture

    All those text messages

    Not a single post is left

    Every single sign of evidence

    Got rid of it all

    Final phone call

    The way it’s meant to be

    Nothing else in this for me.

    Don’t want no proof of this

    Nothing else will exist

    The future now written

    Every lesson forgotten

    Slowly came to realize

    Better off in disguise

    Life is full of deceit

    You showed them all to me

    Letting it go

    Like it never happened

    Slowly consumed

    Just what I imagined

    Creating a fake world

    I need to get through this

    Have to get through this

    Cause there’s nothing left for me

    Gave you everything that I had

    Every single tear I had left

    Walking away happy

    Cause I gave all I had left

    Time for something new

    Relaxing calm of a new day

    Proportionality spending time on me

    All I have left is me

  • Power

    Power

    POWER

    Just surging through

    That’s me

    Reaching back to you

    Let me calm you

    I know this pain

    Hate it around you

    POWER

    In every word you speak

    Let it flow out

    Smooth and honestly

    The truth was born in you

    When I see you

    I know it’s true

    POWER

    Believe in it

    This emotion

    Just accept it

    Let go of every worry

    Faithfully

    Just feel me

    POWER

    It lives in you

    Please let it out

    Let it shine through

    Let me be there

    Sitting right with you

    I love you

  • Saying Things

    Saying Things

    Saying things that I do not mean

    Cause I’m just tryna be mean

    Speaking out relentlessly

    If nothing else, helps me to be seen

    Saying things just to say it

    It’s the easiest way to get out of it

    Talking endlessly about nothingness

    Reflection of each part of my pettiness

    Saying things out of frustration

    Thinking about it causing hesitation

    Not saying what’s really real

    Just saying how I think I feel

    Saying things in the moment

    Hoping please pardons my movements

    Knowing that things are suspicious

    Remaining just as ambitious

    Saying things so randomly

    Almost got me caught cir·cum·spec·tive·ly

    The impossibility evolved effortlessly

    Recognizing life changes constantly

    Saying things out of place

    Lost in time and space

    Thought way too deeply about this life

    Accepting I’m not really about this life

  • Excited For You

    Excited For You

    There is no feeling greater

    Being in your corner

    Whether the day is sunny

    Or the weather is devastating

    something special in this

    Just trying to be there for you

    If you need it, listening to you

    During the storm, shelter for you

    Anything I can do

    Cause I’m excited for you

    You telling me your dreams

    I see them as reality

    You sharing your thoughts

    I already bought you everything

    You low on energy

    I’m picking you up for the get up

    You feeling anxious

    I’m loving you with patience

    You just relaxing

    I’m out of your way

    Baby enjoy your day

    Excited for you

    Excited for you

    Just to be there

    Excited for you

    Seeing your success

    Excited for you

    Whatever you need

    I got you

    Excited for you

    Sitting here waiting for you

    It’s your first interview

    Dress to the Ts, shoes too

    Gliding down the steps

    It’s pure elegance

    Cautiously optimistic

    I believing you are ballistic

    Everything prepared

    Dressed for success

    Nothing left

    But to master this day.

    The day is done

    And I’m smiling brightly

    Do you know

    How proud you made me

    Life giving you

    The insurmountable

    With all that God has giving you

    You are more than able

    Life flashing through

    Day by day

    Pushing each other along the way

    Living vicariously through you

    I’m So proud of the things you do

    Living, loving, dreaming about you

    I’m so excited for you.

    Excited for you

    Just to be there

    Excited for you

    Seeing your success

    Excited for you

    Whatever you need

    I got you

    Excited for you

  • I wish

    I wish

    I wish I could make you smile

    Even for a small while

    While you take a break

    From this reality

    And just enable you

    To touch Peace

    Feel the earth

    With heavens grace

    Wishing you the best

    In every case

    I wish all your dreams true

    Beyond the fantasy of you

    Truly true happiness in all you do

    Showing the release

    That pain holding you

    Like I can see it grab you

    And nothing I can do

    Watching, listening, paralyzing

    All this, just keep trying

    I wish with God’s grace

    You can see that place

    That place created for you

    God’s gift to you

    Enjoying life, grateful, prayerful

    Loving to breathe freshness of air

    Living free, God isn’t fair

    Painless life is not guaranteed

    Its really the balance of things

    Yet to be

    I wish with all I hold dear

    If I could whisper in your ear

    I’d give this one thing to you

    All the love I could fathom come true

    Regardless of what we’ve been through

    Striving to prove love for you

    Manifested in friendship

    Forged through faith

    Do whatever it takes

  • You Set My

    You Set My

    You set my priorities

    With just a desire

    Planted in me

    Unquenchable fire

    Fueling it intensely

    As if nothing else matters

    As if I don’t have work to do

    As if I don’t need to eat

    As if I don’t need to sleep

    It’s just to please you

    Even if it only brings you

    A single smile a day

    I’d do it every day

    You set my path

    There is this deep longing

    Filling this deep need

    To remain connected

    Mutual belonging

    To a common thread

    Interwoven into strength

    Able to outlast the strongest steel

    Only break is the exhale

    Then back at it

    Like I hit the bricks

    Never going back

    It’s all for this

    You set my emotion

    Equally responsive

    Sensitive to each fluctuation

    Bonded into subtle manipulation

    Flexing repeatedly

    Into a serene divinity

    Happy and ecstatic

    Sad and mad

    Comfortable and relaxed

    Amplifying everything you feel

    It’s as if it is my own

    As if you are home

    So glad to be home

  • Sigh For A Smile

    Sigh For A Smile

    Sigh for a smile

    Remembering when I

    Would sigh out of frustration

    As an emotional release

    Opening the valve

    Releasing it all

    Emptying my cup

    Vulnerabilities and all

    Sigh for a smile

    Recognizing every trouble

    Each and every trial I’ve been through

    The tribulations that weakened me

    Somehow ended up

    Strengthened me

    Lavishing in all of it

    Because I am all of it

    Sigh for a smile

    Remembering the many days

    When I thought

    There was no other way

    Holding onto the past

    Cause the present

    Wasn’t what I planned

    Now I see the real plan

    Sigh for a smile

    when I lay my head

    Down to sleep

    Everything I am

    Is what you expected of me

    Never relinquish peace

    Or serenity

    That alignment to destiny

    Sigh for a smile

    Shaking my head

    In the amount of disbelief

    Remembering those that fell

    Acknowledging those enslaved

    Calling out to the lost

    And it’s just by chance

    I am not the same

  • Stuck in my heart

    Stuck in my heart

    Sitting in the dark

    Watching that little light burn

    Power out

    From that powerful storm

    Exhausted

    From the early start

    But I got you stuck in my heart

    Wind howls

    Sounding like knocks on the door

    Feeling the emptiness of you leaving to my core

    Powerless

    Too little too late

    You had to depart

    But I got you stuck in my heart

    Wishing softly

    Mind clear as the morning bright

    Wanting to love you in this still night

    Don’t know where you are

    Where is my sweetheart

    But I got you stuck in my heart

    Silent stillness

    Surrounding everything about me

    Wishing for a moonlit beach

    Feels so right to me

    Longing for that perfect moment

    Missing that beautiful art

    But I got you stuck in my heart

  • Without You

    Without You

    These voices keep telling me

    That I need to believe

    In something differently

    But I don’t know what to do

    These voices keep telling me

    That I need to believe

    In something differently

    But I don’t know what to do

    Without you

    This highway so lonely

    Vehicles flying right by me

    Concentration lost me

    Gentle rain consumes me

    Guided blindly

    Expecting something new

    The answer so subtly

    Yet I know what to do

    Refusing to leave you

    These voices keep telling me

    That I need to believe

    In something differently

    But I don’t know what to do

    These voices keep telling me

    That I need to believe

    In something differently

    But I don’t know what to do

    Without you

    Slowly exiting the freeway

    Don’t know which way

    I should even go

    Mind so convoluted

    It’s what I’ve concluded

    Green light blaring

    Just not caring

    Foot stuck on this brake

    No more I can take

    These voices keep telling me

    that I need to believe

    In something differently

    But I don’t know what to do

    These voices keep telling me

    That I need to believe

    In something differently

    But I don’t know what to do

    Without you

    Finally seeing something

    That’s looking kinda familiar

    This place we use to go

    Enjoying early evenings

    Slow music flow

    For some reason

    Landed on me real slow

    How long it’s been

    Now we damn near at an end

    These voices keep telling me

    That I need to believe

    In something differently

    But I don’t know what to do

    These voices keep telling me

    That I need to believe

    In something differently

    But I don’t know what to do

    Without you

  • Everything About You

    Everything About You

    Intently listening

    Your voice so soothing

    Swear to god it moves me

    Got to admit

    It improves me

    You bent over

    I could see that thong

    Through your dress

    I was done

    Fuck the conversations

    Where is the reconciliation

    Telling me what you need

    Let me be clear

    I’m everything you described

    To the last word

    The whole damn year

    It’s just a matter of time

    Before it’s real

    Just be patient

    So we can make this real

    Thoughts become real

    You glad we’re friends

    I hear that

    Me happy In this friend zone

    Picture that

    I am absolutely friendly

    But I can no longer pretend

    That we are just friends

    I love you

    Can’t understand

    Can’t you feel this

    Everything about you

    Get closer to you

    Plotting to get you

    Gotta Have you

    Cause I love you

    I love you

  • Filling Voids

    Filling Voids

    Filling voids. Feeling voids. Not trying to make you annoyed. Wanna make you feel complete.  Need to make sure when you leave the house you got shined shoes on your feet.  You are everything I need to make life work.  But I still can see through your hurt.  So I’m here, right now, to let you know, you ain’t alone no more….

    I feel your void, and I’m here.

    I’ll fill that void, when ya near

    Don’t you worry… no, don’t do that anymore

    I’ll be here for you forever more.

    Filling time. Feeling time. Its just ticking away.  It just ticks through everyday.  Each day I feel closer, but the distance the same.  Sometimes my heart feels the pain.  Time doesn’t feel like it’s on my side, cause it has never put you by my side.  So I’m here right now to let you know, you ain’t gotta worry no more…

    I feel your void, and I’m here.

    I’ll fill that void, when ya near

    Don’t you worry… no, don’t do that anymore

    I’ll be here for you forever more.

    Filling space.  Feeling space.  Walking around my new place.  Tryna tell you something right, I’m blessed, but I’m hurt cause I know I won’t see you tonight.  Everything is right in its place, but I need you to come share this place.  My heart is open, babe can’t you feel me… I want you right here next to me. So I’m here right now to let you know, you ain’t alone….

    I feel your void, and I’m here.

    I’ll fill that void, when ya near

    Don’t you worry… no, don’t do that anymore

    I’ll be here for you forever more.

    Filling this.  Feeling this.  Let me let your feel this. I’m telling you, you about to be shook. Brazen coco I can get you hooked.  You hesitating, but I’m ready.  Seeing you in that purple teddy.  We are made for this.  Don’t be scared of this.  This is that love that you’ve thought about. Let me fill every void, until you feel this void.

  • Need To Be Free

    Need To Be Free

    Too much transgressed, for things to be the same

    I feel this pit of emotion when someone brings up your name.   There was a time when that thin line was never close to hate…. Now the strife consumes my life.  I need to be free

    Loves initiation blinded me to everything that was real. Dealing in future memories of things never meant to be.  Always unclear why the present was never aligned. All those plans we discussed, the dreams we outlined … now the days of ol are just old.  I need to be free

    Each time we go around the sun, we are never the same. Hundreds of days just being a slave to the winds of change.  Seeing things through so many lenses, it’s never clear, too many distractions and fake heirs. I need to be free.

    After the long haul.  The enduring tick of time has me beat.  The everlasting tock has me on my knees, praying for salvation from unrealistic realities of the nothing that will ever be.   I need to be free.

  • I Remember When

    I Remember When

    Every day is a blessing and a curse

    I remember every single thing

    Literally like it was yesterday

    Details and feelings

    Visions and meaning

    If you asked me

    Very specifically

    What I wore yesterday

    I couldn’t answer you

    Because everything of the past

    Is not within my view

    But I remember when

    I felt every smile

    I felt every annoyance

    I felt every pain

    I remember when

    Every experience is a triumph and a disaster

    It isn’t really clear what I’m after

    The earth showing me the same thing

    Day after day spinning in the same axis

    Weather changes but everything is the same

    Reliving life repeatedly

    Wondering when that change

    That new life

    When will it happen for me

    But I remember when

    When every adult told me

    Anything I wanted could be mine

    I felt every pride

    I felt every faith

    I felt every deceit

    I remember when

    Every thought is life and death

    Anticipating every possibility

    Analyzing imagined life

    As if life was actually occurring for me

    Providing the illusion of ease

    It’s more like I’ve already prepared

    As if every option was possible

    Already determined every next step

    But I remember when

    Life has more beauty

    When defense wasn’t the best offense

    Life used to be something to me

    I felt every deadly sin

    I felt every eternity

    I felt every circumstance

    I remember when

    Every being is Life and Death

    One assumes the other

    Until one consumes the other

    Regardless of magic

    Irrespective of prayer or hope

    The fate we all reach is equivalent

    I remember when

    Everything we wanted to believe

    It all had to be permanent

    Even when our own existence

    It is just but a dream

    The next generation was the truth

    I felt every doubt

    I felt every love

    I felt God

    I remember when

  • Lovely Days with You

    Lovely Days with You

    I don’t know how to express to you.

    How powerful I feel with you.  

    Some days I just need you close.

    You are everything that is beautiful. 

    Without that beauty.

    This world is no fucking dark. 

    Sometimes I need to focus on love.

    Versus objectives and deliverables. 

    I only have lovely days with you. 

    Just in case you didn’t know, I Love You.

    Just in case I haven’t said it, I Thank You.

    I remember every tear I caused.

    From when I asked you that first question.

    You said yes with a tear.

    From when I asked for forgiveness.

    You said yes with a tear. 

    Each day since I focus on you

    I only have lovely days with you.

    I intentionally avoid every moment.

    Any opportunity to take you for granted.

    Even in the midst of the world.

    You are the heart of the world.

    Breathing every bit of energy.

    Filling my entire soul completely.

    Thought about a moment without you.

    Lost every perspective without you.

    I only have lovely days with you.

    Need your spirit close to me.

    Even if I cannot see you. 

    I can somehow sense you.

    This connection created in a Godly way

    Strengthen in seeds we nurture every day.

    Keeping faith on the worst days.

    Celebrating the best days.

    If only one wish could come true.

    I only have lovely days with you.

  • Begging For Forgiveness

    Begging For Forgiveness

    It wasn’t until that day I knew

    I fucked up

    And the world reminded me

    Momentarily

    Paralyzed in hysteria

    Seeing my baby girl

    I needed to atone

    For every single thing

    I did wrong

    Begging for forgiveness.

    It wasn’t until I recognized

    Every foul word

    And even pleasant words

    I would use them without meaning

    Just to temporarily

    Create a scenario

    I always pretended

    It was for a meaning

    But mirrors only tell the truth

    Begging for forgiveness.

    It wasn’t until I looked

    Into my own eyes

    Yet I stood there surprised

    Raised harshly so lovingly

    Three women formed me

    Although there was testosterone

    Those genes never formed

    Not a single positive thought

    Only doing what I was taught

    Begging for forgiveness.

    It wasn’t until I heard

    Don’t worry about it

    It was ok

    That I knew it wasn’t ok

    Not a single one of them forgot

    Each loving word

    The illusion I created from nothingness

    I was that knight in amour

    That African prince

    Begging for forgiveness.

    It wasn’t until I remembered

    The sins of the past will last

    My seeds will be perpetuators and victims

    From the previous seeds I planted

    Yet I don’t know for certainty

    If they have other siblings

    Although I never tried to disappear

    Before that time of the month

    Indicating everything was clear

    Begging for forgiveness.

    It wasn’t until the world stood still

    And I held my baby girl

    I wanted so much to smile

    Looking at what was mine

    But I had to cry

    Knowing what was mine

    Each pain I caused

    I pray your vengeance on me

    Not this precious baby I see

    Begging for forgiveness.

  • Spoiled

    Spoiled

    Feeling the pressure

    Wanting something differently

    That is what you are claiming

    But you knew me from the beginning

    Remember when

    Every day had time for me

    Every meal, you would always offer me

    Every night, filled with peace and love

    Everything I wanted

    Nothing was off limits

    You created this monster

    This being

    This inner sensation of expectation

    Yeah I’m spoiled

    But you set this expectation

    The Expectation

    It is like it always was

    You know you ask for things

    I purposely forget those things

    You constantly trying to replace

    That hierarchy that exist between us

    You suggesting it’s your turn

    As if you invested and invested

    Now you are trying to claim the ROI

    But I have to let you know

    That’s not how this is going to go

    Just because you spoil me

    That has nothing to do with

    How I treat you

    I treat you

    Like I always have

    You come to me when you need a laugh

    You come to me when you need an ear

    You come to me when you fear

    You come to me when the world is over

    You come to me just to make me move over

    You come to me just for a hi

    You come to me just because

    You come to me when you need a hug

    I thought it was all you needed

    I don’t want what you need

    But apparently you want to be spoiled like me

  • Forgiveness

    Forgiveness

    Forgiveness?

    I heard about you

    People stay talking about you

    Telling me I need to meet you

    Somehow I need to get to know you

    They kept saying I need some time with you

    Telling me how nice you are

    Speaking as if we ever met

    The world would be so different

    The crazy part

    They never tell me how you look

    Only describing emotion intelligent things

    As if those things have meaning

    Expecting me to show a sign of softness

    Forgiveness?

    Forgiveness?

    Let me tell you like this

    I know how to treat people

    And if you want to be

    One of those people

    Just know

    I will tell you

    Like I told them

    Everything is everything

    We can even pretend to be friends

    But if you dare cross me in anyway

    You better watch for what’s coming your way

    I will cut you off with the quickness

    Forgiveness?

    Forgiveness?

    You keep asking me these questions

    Knowing you really don’t want to know the answer

    I know I’m alone, but that doesn’t mean I’m lonely

    It is absolutely intentional

    Based on how people treat me

    I know every time I see you

    You looking at me because I’m solo

    But at least if I am the only one here

    I will already know

    How everything is about to go

    I’m telling you I am good

    From sun up to sun down

    I do not need you in my business

    Forgiveness?

    Forgiveness?

    When the night becomes clear

    That is the part that is anchored in fear

    Would I be as strong as I claim to be

    If everyone that did anything

    I allowed to continually hurt me

    How am I missing out on life?

    You know how this thing go

    You meet them

    You trust them

    They take you for granted

    They take your last bit of trust

    Now they look real different

    That is why I am suspicious.

    Forgiveness.

    Forgiveness.

    I get what you saying

    Because I have yet to let go

    From each and every hurt and pain

    Right now

    That is all I know

    I know how to be hurt

    I know how to manage pain

    And now, somehow

    I am creating the exact scenario

    That I claim to be letting go

    I am my worst enemy

    Counting nights minutes

    Forgiveness.

    Forgiveness

    I see you

    I remember I saw you a while back

    When I turned away

    When they stabbed me in the back

    I walked right past you

    I just didn’t know it was you

    I just thought as long as I keep this wall up

    I would always be strong enough

    Now this same wall grown so tall

    I cannot see anything

    Not a single joy or smile

    Please accept my apology

    Please forgive me.

  • Got Me Loving You

    Got Me Loving You

    It ain’t your brown eyes

    Looking deep into mine

    No that doesn’t draw me near

    Your skin tone

    Kissed by summers rays

    Doesn’t bring me any closer to you

    Something indescribable about you

    Got me loving you

    It Ain’t your fragrance

    That perfume fills the room

    Making me only think of you

    Not the way you move

    Everyone getting on your groove

    Trying to figure it out

    Even when I’m not with you

    Got me loving you

    It Ain’t your expertise

    Of everything within your reach

    Your command of people

    Has them follow you endlessly

    Not even your elegance

    Upon your entrance

    Everyone needing to see you

    Got me loving you

    It Ain’t your presence

    Desirable essence

    That savior faire

    Everyone knows you here

    Not anything I can tell you

    No matter what it is

    Just know one thing is true

    Got me loving you 

  • Just ain’t right

    Just ain’t right

    Coming in late at night

    Something

    Just doesn’t feel right

    Gut telling me

    There’s something

    I don’t wanna know

    Asking you random questions

    Hoping you come real slow

    Nothing is wrong

    Yeah, I heard what you said

    But this feeling

    Stays inside my head

    Suspiciously I stare at you

    Now you frustrated

    You looking different

    Can’t recognize that scent

    Something just ain’t right

    The way you coming home

    Each and every night

    Something just ain’t right

    You can’t even look at me

    What is it you expect of me

    Tryna have this conversation with you

    You avoiding every question

    What did I do to you

    Your avoidance is worrying

    Got me thinking

    That something is missing

    Missing something obvious

    Because your answers are dubious

    What should I expect

    When I feel the neglect

    You losing my respect

    Now you slowly

    Looking uneasy

    What is it

    Oh, now you feel me

    Feel me, leaving

    Something just ain’t right

    They way you coming home

    Each and every night

    Something just ain’t right

    You can even look at me

    What is it you expect of me

    Listen to me

    Loud and clearly

    Never repeating this

    So I hope you hear

    I know you

    Like I know me

    And I know this feeling

    When I’m uneasy

    Whether you admit it or not

    I know you doing something

    That just ain’t right

    Don’t care if you don’t come clean

    My conscience ain’t feeling a thing

    So keep the lie to yourself

    And let me be by myself

    Don’t need anyone else

    Something just ain’t right

    They way you coming home

    Each and every night

    Something just ain’t right

    You can even look at me

    What is it you expect of me

  • Should Be Sleeping

    Should Be Sleeping

    I should be sleeping

    But my mind won’t rest

    Keep replaying today

    Our conversation from today

    Wondering how you feeling

    How are you dealing

    Cause some days

    My heart hurts

    When I know

    The whole day will pass

    And I won’t see that ass

    I should be sleeping

    But I still have stuff on my mind

    Need to get this out

    Truth please set me free

    Please allow her to see

    That I’m in love

    With her love

    Loving that love

    That she gives relentlessly

    Without judgement

    Without cruelty

    Purely love

    Sweet destiny

    I should be sleeping

    But I need you to listen

    I would give it all up

    Every day

    The most joyous day

    The happiest week

    The longest night

    Milestone after milestone

    I would give it all up

    For a chance to rewind time

    To tell you this from the beginning

    To tell you you are the shit

    And I fucked Up

    And missed it.

    I should be sleeping

    But I’m here trying to live

    But it’s different when

    You have to fight to live

    When you ain’t enjoying life

    You are just a part of life

    Incomplete, unfocused

    Transverse time as if there is time

    Awaiting the end, because the past passed

    Seeing that parallel timeline

    Plotting intricate plots

    Plotting to jump to that line

    That line where we are together

    Talking shit

    Blending shit

    Rolling shit

    Smoking shit

  • I Know That

    I Know That

    I know that I know you

    This cannot be the first time

    Like our souls, our souls

    They’ve always been intertwined

    Your presence creates euphoria

    And I need more of ya

    Whatever happened last lifetime

    Has nothing to do with this time

    And now that I found you again

    You will always be mine.

    I know that I know you

    There is nothing strange between us

    So we can talk like there’s no space between us

    As we reflecting on each other’s energy

    All around us nothing but envy

    And they wondering

    How long we known each other

    How long we been together

    But we are beyond the concept of time

    Our mental interwoven as if we are time

    I know that I know you

    Close your eyes so your soul can see mine

    So we can communicate on a different realm

    Please don’t feel overwhelmed

    It’s just that cosmic energy

    That euphoric energy

    That constantly magnetizes my soul to yours

    If nothing else please believe I am yours

    And only collectively can we achieve serenity

    Ignoring everything that dissipates our energy

    I know that I know you

    Generationally negativity pulls us apart

    Everlastingly our love restarts

    And somehow I am drawn to you

    Even if I never know your name

    I know that I know you

    And I can feed off your every thought

    Randomly conceiving of weird innuendos

    And I’m all in cause I had the same thought

    No matter what, keeping everything about you

  • Can I Get To Know You?

    Can I Get To Know You?

    Can I get to know ya

    Wanna know what’s real with ya

    Cause it has to be something

    That I’m missin with ya

    Its like every once in a while

    Everything calms down

    Like I’m in the eye of the storm

    And I asking myself what’s wrong

    What is going on in this place

    Never seen such a calm space

    Can I get to know ya

    Can I get to know ya

    Cause Its obvious I don’t know ya

    I know I been in your presence

    Cannot even count the times

    But you got my face wound up

    Should I be shocked or surprised

    My pessimism cannot appreciate this

    Optimistically I’ve been waiting for this

    Looking skeptically, not sure what to do

    Should I sit directly next to you

    Can I get to know ya

    Can I get to know ya

    I must need a refresher course

    Cause when I see ya

    I don’t know the course

    Is it rough and rigid

    Memorized your digits

    Bewildered by this change

    When someone asked

    I didn’t even know my own name

    If I had one wish in this world

    Can I get to know ya

    Can I get to know ya

    Need to avoid those sore spots

    When you making dinner

    I’m cleaning the pots

    If you sweep

    Then I’ll vacuum

    Taking the trash out

    You ain’t got to ask me

    Filling every void that I can

    I’ll show you all that I am

    Can I get to know ya

  • Happy Anniversary

    Happy Anniversary

    Dear Sweetie

    Dear Sweetie,

    You don’t know me

    I been here, going through

    The motions, the fears, the tears

    It’s all I could manage,

    Sitting here

    Waiting for you

    Dear Sweetie

    In my mind

    You are obviously

    The right choice,

    Subtle and powerful choice

    Constantly I improve day by day

    Knowing you’ll come my way

    Dear Sweetie

    Dreams come true

    Circumstances create opportunity

    Now I’m bumping into you,

    Cannot ever let it go

    Dear Sweetie.

    Stuck in My Heart

    Sitting in the dark

    Watching that little light burn

    Power out

    From that powerful storm

    Exhausted

    From the early start

    But I got you stuck in my heart

    Wind howls

    Sounding like knocks on the door

    Feeling the emptiness of you leaving to my core

    Powerless

    Too little too late

    You had to depart

    But I got you stuck in my heart

    Wishing softly

    Mind clear as the morning bright

    Wanting to love you in this still night

    Don’t know where you are

    Where is my sweetheart

    But I got you stuck in my heart

    Silent stillness

    Surrounding everything about me

    Wishing for a moonlit beach

    Feels so right to me

    Longing for that perfect moment

    Missing that beautiful art

    But I got you stuck in my heart

    Right to My Heart

    Every time I think

    We drifting apart

    You say something to me

    Like you speaking

    Right to my heart

    And In a matter of minutes

    Its like we have a fresh start

    And this smile

    Will last for a while

    Been so long since we talked

    I know we don’t need to talk

    To stay as close as we stay

    It’s a special bond

    In a special way

    And each in every way

    I’m never good

    Until I know you’re ok

    I mean

    I need to know

    How you feeling

    Cause ain’t nothing

    More revealing

    Every time I think

    We drifting apart

    You say something to me

    Like you speaking

    Right to my heart

    And In a matter of minutes

    Its like we have a fresh start

    And this smile

    Will last for a while

    Sitting here just thinking

    Everything you say

    Means so much to me

    Because it always

    Has a deeper meaning

    So I slowly

    Receive every word

    I’d be nothing without you

    Why did I ever even think

    I could ever be without you

    And I never will try again

    Loving you, only way to win

    Every time I think

    We drifting apart

    You say something to me

    Like you speaking

    Right to my heart

    And In a matter of minutes

    Its like we have a fresh start

    And this smile

    Will last for a while

    There is no more

    I can even say

    I love you

    About Us

    The best part about us

    Is the constant us

    Never have I

    Felt anything like this

    When a new day

    Feels like a first kiss

    The constant

    The resurgence of love

    When something happens

    And I fall in love again

    Loving my best friend

    The best part of us

    We are not the same

    Will never answer questions equally

    Do not finish each other’s sentences

    Yet we know each other unequivocally

    This is on everything

    Loving you unconditionally

    Something innate within

    Through every joy

    Through every sin

    Holding you infinitely

    The best part about us

    The commitment shared

    Latching tightly

    The vow promised

    Just oft pristine beach

    Our essential foundation

    Within reach

    Smiling proudly

    Bonding through it all

    Remembering each moment

    Remembering the love

    The best part about us

    After the prayer is done

    Witnessing Gods grace

    Strengthening us

    Helping us

    Maintaining us

    Through the every moment

    In those random moments

    Doing the simplest of things

    Even if we are just being

    Stay having this love thing

  • Lost So Much

    Lost So Much

    Lost so much, but still have everything

    Only possible loses are material things

    Remember seeing people transition

    The mystery is revealed in everything

    King Bryant proclaimed with thunderous sound

    As long as you say my name I live.

    So now I say it everyday

    Accepting he is still with me

    Recognizing I was mourning

    Future memories I didn’t even see

    Lost so much, but still have everything

    Only possible loses are material things

    Growing up with that key round neck

    That shit wasn’t easy for me

    Big as I was, not even two digits yet

    Walking past all kinds of mess

    Nothing to do at home but create fantasy

    Realized I wasn’t lonely, just was being me

    But I damn sure guaranteed

    My seed wouldn’t go that way

    Lost so much, but still have everything

    Only possible loses are material things

    Grew up with so much

    I was giving it away

    Thinking these little trinkets were in the way

    There was a whole world to see

    But I was so busy enjoying being me

    Meeting social expectations

    I ventured out, found out what the world was about

    Saw I wasn’t missing a thing, but me

    Lost so much, but still have everything

    Only possible loses are material things

    seeing pain from different points of view

    From nicotine, from alcohol, sex, narcotics

    From fixing cars, fixing the yard, painting new paint

    People doing anything to avoid what life brings

    I saw a bunch of people out in this world

    Trying to find that solitude that I released

    Laughing at the the psychology of my disbelief

    We are all missing the opportunity to be me